She smiled but stared at the drink she stirred. She knew if she even glanced at him she’d be locked into another one of his lustful stares.
“So, when’s the wedding?”
“Just a little over a month.”
The thought of having to be at all the upcoming dreaded events and seeing Alex there made her stomach turn. Without thinking, she downed her drink, and that was it. She knew she wouldn’t be driving home.
Luke took a sip of his drink, but she noticed he wasn’t drinking nearly as fast as she had. When she was done with the drink he’d ordered her, she called it quits.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to drive home.”
“I can take you home,” he said quickly. “Your car will be okay here overnight. We’ll come back and get it in the morning.”
Valerie looked at him and their eyes locked again. She hoped he wasn’t getting the wrong idea.
He held her hand on the way out and all the way to the car. It felt good. She was sure it was the alcohol, but she felt a little more attracted to Luke. She leaned against him. He let go of her hand, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. When they reached his car instead of opening the door, he leaned against it and pulled her too him. The desire in his eyes was undeniable.
Valerie didn’t say anything. She leaned against him and stared at his lips. He leaned over and kissed her. Damn it, she knew it. The first thing that came to her mind was Alex. His ravenous kiss at the party was instantly all she could think of.
Luke kissed her softly and ran his hands up and down her back. Valerie kissed him back and concentrated on not thinking of Alex. Her tongue stayed in rhythm with his, slow at first then she could feel him breathing harder as the kiss intensified. She heard a faint but unmistakable moan.
Valerie pulled away. Luke was breathing heavy. “I’m sorry, Luke.” She pulled away from his embrace just a little. She felt him through his pants and was angry with herself. “I don’t mean to give you the wrong idea.”
She could tell Luke was trying to read her thoughts. “And what idea would that be?”
“That I’ll be spending the night with you.”
He seemed relieved. “That’s alright. As long as you’re not saying that me getting the idea that there could be something more between us is wrong. I don’t have a problem taking things slow. In fact, I’m sorry if I came on too strong.”
Valerie forced a smile. That’s not the idea she wanted him to get either. She hadn’t even been ready for the kiss much less any kind of relationship. “Don’t be sorry. I was a willing participant.”
The ride back to her place was a bit awkward with Luke holding her hand the whole way. All she could think about is how kissing Luke was nothing like kissing Alex. Admittedly, she hadn’t tried hard. But there’d been nothing, not so much as a spark.
When they got to her apartment, Valerie dreaded him walking her to the door. She knew he’d be expecting another kiss, and she was already regretting the first one. She turned to him when they reached her door. “Luke, I don’t know if us getting involved is such a good idea. Isn’t it some kind of conflict of interest at the office?”
She saw that look in his eye again and he leaned into her. “Don’t worry about the office. I never would’ve kissed you if I thought that might be a problem.”
Before she could say anything else his lips were on hers again. This time she tried to feel something. She actually wanted to. She wanted hope that she could ever get over Alex. But again she felt him become quickly aroused and the instant bulge against her stomach. All Valerie felt was discouraged.
She pulled away gently. He looked at her and smiled then caressed her face one last time. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.”
The guilt sunk in, and Valerie could barely smile back. Once he left and she was back in her apartment, the reality of everything that happened that day came crashing down. She wondered where Isabel was but didn’t wait up. The alcohol had really done a number on her. She was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.
*
The next morning, Valerie was up early and ready before Isabel was even out of bed. Luke would be over soon to take her to pick up her car. Of course, he insisted they get breakfast together, so she had to get ready for that.
Last night, she was sure she’d regret the whole Luke thing enormously in the morning. But now, clearheaded, she didn’t think it was so bad. She’d definitely tell him they were going to be taking things slow, but she didn’t have to rule it out all together.
She’d come to realize if she waited until she was over Alex to move on, she never would. It was time she just accepted that Alex was the love of her life, and she might never get over him.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t be happy. She knew she’d never be as happy as she was when she was with him, but maybe if she put a little effort into it, she could come close. At least she knew that meant no one could ever hurt her as much as he could. Pathetic consolation, but she had to find the optimism somewhere.
Isabel walked in the kitchen just as she was finishing her coffee. “You’re up early.”
Valerie always slept in on Saturdays. She explained to Isabel briefly about Luke. She’d be more thorough later when she had more time. Isabel was thrilled when she mentioned the kiss and assured Valerie she’d feel something soon enough.
To her surprise, Isabel ran into Romero at the mall the night before, and they had dinner together. Valerie was just beginning her inquisition when she had to leave.