"I will. Let me see--this is Friday. Well, until this morning's fatal
sleep, I had not slept since Sunday night. Monday was passed in the
usual routine of military duty. Monday evening I was sent on a
reconnoitering expedition to the old castellated Spanish fort of the
Casa de Mata, that occupied the whole night. On Tuesday morning I was
selected to attend the messenger who went with the flag of truce into
the city to carry our General's letter of expostulation to Santa Anna,
which employed the whole day. On Tuesday night, without having had an
hour's rest in the interval, I was put on guard. Wednesday morning I
was sent with a party to escort an emigrant caravan across the marsh to
the village of Churubusco. Wednesday afternoon you saw me on guard and
I told you that I had not slept one hour for three days and nights."
"Yes, you looked ill enough to be ordered on the sick list."
"Yet, listen. Thoroughly exhausted as I was, on Wednesday night I was
ordered to join a party to go on a secret reconnoitering expedition to
the Molina-del-Rey. On Thursday morning I was sent out with another
party on a foraging tour. On Thursday night I was sent in attendance
upon the officer who carried despatches to General Quitman. On Friday
morning I was set on guard between the hours of four and eight!"
"Oh, heaven, what an infamous abuse of military authority!" exclaimed
Herbert, indignantly.
"Herbert, in my life I have sometimes suffered with hunger, cold and
pain, and have some idea of what starving, freezing and torture may be,
but among all the ills to which flesh is heir, I doubt if there is one
so trying to the nerves and brain of man as enforced and long-continued
vigilance, when all his failing nature sinks for want of sleep.
Insanity and death must soon be the result."
"Humph! Go on. Tell me about the manner of their finding you," said
Herbert, scarcely able to repress his indignation.
"Well, when after--let me see--eighty-four--ninety--ninety-six hours of
incessant watching, riding and walking, I was set on guard to keep the
morning watch between four o'clock and eight, 'my whole head was sick
and my whole heart faint'; my frame was sinking; my soul could scarcely
hold my body upright. In addition to this physical suffering was the
mental anguish of feeling that these men had resolved upon my death,
and thinking of my dear mother and Clara, whose hearts would be broken
by my fall. Oh! the thought of them at this moment quite unmans me. I
must not reflect. Well, I endeavored with all the faculties of my mind
and body to keep awake. I kept steadily pacing to and fro, though I
could scarcely drag one limb after the other, or even stand upright;
sleep would arrest me while in motion, and I would drop my musket and
wake up in a panic, with the impression of some awful, overhanging ruin
appalling my soul. Herbert, will you think me a miserably weak wretch
if I tell you that that night was a night of mental and physical
horrors? Brain and nerves seemed in a state of disorganization; thought
and emotion were chaos; the relations of soul and body broken up. I had
but one strong, clear idea, namely, that I must keep awake at all
costs, or bring shameful death upon myself and disgrace upon my family.
And even in the very midst of thinking this I would fall asleep."