Now, that futurity, so anxiously anticipated, was arrived, she was
returned--but what a dreary blank appeared!--Valancourt no longer
lived for her! She had no longer even the melancholy satisfaction of
contemplating his image in her heart, for he was no longer the same
Valancourt she had cherished there--the solace of many a mournful
hour, the animating friend, that had enabled her to bear up against the
oppression of Montoni--the distant hope, that had beamed over her gloomy
prospect! On perceiving this beloved idea to be an illusion of her own
creation, Valancourt seemed to be annihilated, and her soul sickened at
the blank, that remained. His marriage with a rival, even his death, she
thought she could have endured with more fortitude, than this discovery;
for then, amidst all her grief, she could have looked in secret upon the
image of goodness, which her fancy had drawn of him, and comfort would
have mingled with her suffering!
Drying her tears, she looked, once more, upon the landscape, which had
excited them, and perceived, that she was passing the very bank, where
she had taken leave of Valancourt, on the morning of her departure from
Tholouse, and she now saw him, through her returning tears, such as
he had appeared, when she looked from the carriage to give him a last
adieu--saw him leaning mournfully against the high trees, and remembered
the fixed look of mingled tenderness and anguish, with which he had then
regarded her. This recollection was too much for her heart, and she sunk
back in the carriage, nor once looked up, till it stopped at the gates
of what was now her own mansion.
These being opened, and by the servant, to whose care the chateau had
been entrusted, the carriage drove into the court, where, alighting,
she hastily passed through the great hall, now silent and solitary, to
a large oak parlour, the common sitting room of the late Madame Montoni,
where, instead of being received by M. Quesnel, she found a letter from
him, informing her that business of consequence had obliged him to leave
Tholouse two days before.
Emily was, upon the whole, not sorry to be
spared his presence, since his abrupt departure appeared to indicate the
same indifference, with which he had formerly regarded her. This letter
informed her, also, of the progress he had made in the settlement of
her affairs, and concluded with directions, concerning the forms of
some business, which remained for her to transact. But M. Quesnel's
unkindness did not long occupy her thoughts, which returned the
remembrance of the persons she had been accustomed to see in this
mansion, and chiefly of the ill-guided and unfortunate Madame Montoni.
In the room, where she now sat, she had breakfasted with her on the
morning of their departure for Italy; and the view of it brought most
forcibly to her recollection all she had herself suffered, at that time,
and the many gay expectations, which her aunt had formed, respecting
the journey before her.