We set up camp in the middle of the field and I stilled a little at the sight of my stuff mixed up with Reed’s, like I had always pictured it in my dreams. We ran together and took our water breaks together, and I stretched by his field events just to watch him throw the shot put and disc. He was so much stronger now, and it was like watching a young Olympian when he threw, easily taking first place in both of his events.
He, Becky and Sean spread around the field for my event, yelling for me to run faster and cheering me on as I passed each of them. Reed was at the finish line waiting for me when I was done and wrapped me up in his strong arms with such force that you would have thought he was celebrating my win rather than the fourth place tie that had actually happened.
I couldn’t wait to climb back into the bus for our trip home. There was something about laying my head in Reed’s lap and folding my legs up on the seat, something about the way his soft and warm sweatshirt felt as I snuggled in close that made my already captured heart melt even more. I think this is the moment I had anticipated most since we had begun dating.
Shrouded in the darkness as we wound through the northern mountain passes making our way back home, I felt at complete ease. A lot of the people around us were either sleeping or watching videos and listening to music, and our small little bus seat felt a million miles away and just ours.
“What’s on your mind,” Reed asked, stroking my hair behind my ear and looking down at me, his perfect dimples simply perfect.
“Nothing,” I bit the inside of my cheek a little and blushed, pushing my face into his chest so he couldn’t see my embarrassment.
Reed tickled me a little to force me out of hiding, leaning down to push his forehead to mine while he kissed the tip of my nose. “That doesn’t look like nothing,” he teased. “Come on, you can tell me. Just say it; you think I’m cute don’t you!”
He was joking with me, and it was adorable. “Well, you’re alright, I guess,” I rolled my eyes, joking back.
He dug in for another tickle. “Hey, you’re no looker either, sister. Us uglies have to stick together,” he shot back, then broke into a huge smile. I stuck my tongue out at him and with lightning speed he pulled me to him and kissed me hard. Another perk to the back of the bus, I thought.
I watched our hands together as Reed held me across his lap and chest, twining his fingers with mine and stroking the top of my thumb and then the inside of my palm. I snuck glances at his face and my heart swelled to see him look just as happy as I felt. Then the words just slipped out of me.
“How many girls have you slept with,” fire burning on my cheeks, I have no idea where that came from. My eyes lit up, my eyebrows raised and I cupped my hand over my mouth, muffling my next words a little. “Oh my god, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
Reed just hugged me tight, chuckling a little. “You’re adorable, you know that?” he tried to make me feel better. He held me tight for a few seconds and I felt him take a deep breath in. I knew he was trying not to talk about Tatum with me, but I also knew it was inevitable. I knew they had slept together…a lot.
“Four,” he was matter-of-fact.
His words stunned me a bit, my body growing rigid and my eyes falling to look strictly at our hands again, not wanting to give anything away. Four? I was not thinking four! Two, maybe. Honestly, I was really thinking one! Who were the other three?
“I’m not proud of it,” he sighed, sensing my growing insecurity. “And I would take all of them back if I could. You know that, right?”
He lifted my chin to look me in the eyes, his so sincere. Mine revealed how shocked and unsettled I was by his confession. I opened my mouth to speak, but didn’t know the words, so I just closed it again.
Reed reached down to brush my hair out of my face and touch my cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, Noles, but I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Anything you need to know and deserve to know. But I’m not asking you to have sex with me, not unless you want to. I’ll never be that guy,” he was stern.
He was still fighting not to be Tyler. “I know,” I smiled at him. “You make me feel safe.” I hugged him tightly again.
I felt him relax a little and kiss the top of my head. “OK, well, you know about Tatum. She was my first. And, well, that’s because I was an adolescent teenaged boy with hormones busting at the seams and…hell, you know the rest,” he paused, looking out the window for a few seconds either to see if I would stop him or to gather the courage to continue. I wanted to know, but at the same time I didn’t.