Then he got hurt. Not on the field, but on the court. Like a lot of the guys at our school, Levi did pretty much every sport. And when he fractured his ankle playing basketball, everything kind of changed. He had surgery, and the recovery time was minimal. Just six to eight weeks. But it was enough to jeopardize his negotiations with a lot of the universities that had approached him.
He still got a scholarship with Rusk, but it wasn’t what he wanted. And we fought more and more. Over everything. Other girls. Other guys. My dad. Sex.
Mostly we fought about sex.
I don’t know whether he always had that bitterness and arrogance in him or if it bled out of the dismantling of all of our plans, but I’d like to believe that he didn’t completely fool me. I’d like to believe that the boy I originally fell for was just as sweet and genuine as I remember him being.
But if that’s true . . . it’s crazy to think that one tiny event can derail your entire life, derail who you are. If he’d sat out of basketball that year, would we still be together? Would we both even be at Rusk? Would dad have let me go to school out of state if I was going with Levi?
What if?
I could waste a lifetime thinking about what-ifs, and that’s all I would ever have—hypotheticals and hopes pinned on a plan that crumbles when dragged into reality.
It’s nearly four o’clock when my last class lets out. Normally that would be right in the middle of Dad’s practice, but he didn’t give me a specific time to come by, and I’ve been going crazy reading all the theories online. Most of the theories now are focused on drugs, but the specifics all vary.
Annaiss stops me before I go. She’s in her early thirties, the youngest professor on staff, and though she doesn’t have as much experience as most of the other professors, she at least feels a little less out of touch with the real-world business of dance than the rest. She has thick, glossy black hair and exotic eyes that are soft as she looks at me.
“Are you all right, Dallas?”
Maybe she’s not as oblivious as I thought.
“Yeah, just distracted, I guess.”
“You know you can come talk to me about anything. Dance related or otherwise. My office is on the second floor.”
God, I must look a wreck if she’s this concerned.
“Thanks, Annaiss. I’ll keep that in mind.” I still feel a little weird calling a professor by her first name, but she insists.
She lets me go after that, and in a daze I change out of my dance attire into jeans and street shoes.
When I get to the athletic complex, the parking lot is filled with cars, but the halls are oddly silent. I step into the weight room, and it’s completely empty, weights left out, clearly strewn about from an interrupted workout.
I step through the door that leads to the film room and Dad’s office. It also apparently leads to the locker room, because the door is propped open, and I see the team sitting at their cubbies. Still. Somber. Silent. A smattering of coaches are walking around the room, carrying papers and looking busy.
I look for Carson, but I don’t see him.
I don’t see Levi either, but I didn’t expect to.
The office door is closed, and I knock.
A different coach opens the door. One I don’t know.
I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to stay in touch with my dad since school started. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I have no idea how he’s settling in here.
“I, um, I’m Coach Cole’s daughter. Do you think I could talk to him?”
“He’s in his office, but he said you might be coming by. Come on in.”
The coach is young, maybe thirty, with sandy blond hair. He holds out a hand and says, “I’m Coach Oscar. Most everyone calls me Oz.”
I shake it, feeling strangely . . . adult.
“Dallas,” I reply. “Like the Cowboys. Unfortunately.”
He laughs. So do the two other coaches sitting around the office, which is more like a conference room now that I look at it.
He points to a door on the far side of the room that I didn’t notice last time I was here. “There’s your dad’s office.”
I cross the room, nodding to the other coaches, and knock on the door. Dad takes a while to answer, and I stand there awkwardly, not sure if I should ignore the coaches behind me or talk to them or what. Luckily, I’m saved by the turning of the doorknob. Dad opens the door an inch, and then when he sees it’s me, he opens it wide.
“Come in, Dallas. We were just about finished.”
I freeze as Carson looks over his shoulder at me. He’s sitting in one of the chairs in front of Dad’s desk, and when he sees me his blank expression cracks just enough to reveal the worry and stress lurking beneath.
I almost reach for him.
“Hey,” I say before I can stop myself. Quickly, I redirect my gaze to Dad, hoping he’ll think that was for him.
I shouldn’t have worried. Dad doesn’t notice.
“Carson, why don’t you stop by and talk to Oz on your way out. He’ll make sure you get set up with a solid tutor and anything else you need.”
The faintest blush runs across his cheeks, and he ducks his head.
“Yes, sir.”
His eyes meet mine briefly on the way out, and I can tell . . . things just got significantly more complicated.
The door clicks closed, and Dad slumps into his seat. He looks . . . sad.
With his eyes closed, he leans his elbows on his desk and runs a hand through his hair. It’s going gray at the temples. When did that happen? He looks older, too. There are lines on his face and hands that I can’t recall ever seeing before.
Has this job or this thing with Levi taken that much out of him or have I just not really looked at him for that long?
I stay silent, knowing instinctively that he needs it. This is probably the first quiet moment he’s had since Levi was arrested.
Again, I’m struck not just by how much older he feels, but how much older I feel, too.
“What have you heard?” he asks finally.
I clear my throat. “Nothing concrete. I saw the pictures. People are talking, but no one knows for sure what happened.”
Dad straightens up, sliding his chair closer to the desk, and suddenly he looks all business again. When he starts talking, I get the feeling that he’s said this speech several times today. “Earlier today, Levi was arrested when he attempted to sell marijuana and other pharmaceutical drugs to an undercover police officer.”