He was still pressing it against me, moving it around to show me different views of the small person that was tucked away inside my stomach.
I was in shock and from the look on his face, he was shocked as well.
“Congratulations, Lilly. It looks like you’re about fourteen weeks.” Dr. D’s big, blue eyes crinkled at the corners with his big smile.
As if I didn’t understand, and technically I didn’t, I asked, “Fourteen weeks?”
“Yes ma’am. The baby measures a little over three months.”
“But I was just in the hospital, they didn’t say anything. Is it OK?” The words sounded as if they’d been crushed.
“Well, somehow they missed it, and yes, the baby seems to be OK. I’ll have to have some tests done, of course,” he beamed.
The baby—there was a baby in there. I looked down at my stomach again before turning back to the screen. I was in shock. Maybe I was dreaming. It couldn’t be real.
Then he pressed a button and a noise sounded. It was a heartbeat, strong and steady, soothing me and letting me know that it was real. I was pregnant and my baby’s heart was beating.
“Want to know what you’re having?” he asked.
“Can you tell that now?” I was still in a state of disbelief.
“Sometimes we can, if the baby’s willing to show us. Do you want to know or do you want it to be a secret?”
“What am I having?” My voice sounded off, like a really cool female robot from the future.
“It’s a girl.”
In that moment, my life was changed forever. A perfect little piece of me and Devin was coming—a little princess.
After setting four different appointments to four different specialists, I left the doctor’s office.
Dr. Dandridge had assured me after double checking everything over and over again, that I was indeed pregnant and the baby and I were both healthy. The follow-up appointments were just a precaution because of my past health issues, but it was definitely happening.
I cried once I was alone in my car. Happy tears streamed down my face and euphoria filled every crevice of my body.
On the drive home, all I could think about was Devin and what his reaction might be. His words from the first time we’d had sex rang through my mind.
Do you think I wanna get stuck with you like that?
Would he hate me, or would he be happy? A lot had changed since that very first time. We were together and we were in love.
How would I go about telling him? It’s such a sensitive time for him and his family with the second loss of his mom. Maybe a baby would be a welcomed thing for his family because of the loss of his mom.
I think Dad and Jenny would be ecstatic. It was Devin that I was worried about. If a baby wasn’t something he wanted, I’d have to let him go. I could do it alone and I could financially take care of a baby.
I decided that no matter what happened between Devin and me, the baby was a blessing, and I was going to treat it as such.
When I pulled up at my apartment, I sat in my car and laid my hand over my belly. Now that I knew why I was gaining, the extra weight around the middle didn’t seem like such a curse.
When I walked into my apartment I was met by my mother. She scared the crap out of me and I screamed a little.
“What the hell, Mom?” I clutched my chest. “I’m so having my locks changed. You’re trying to give me a freaking heart attack!” I reached down and picked up my dropped purse.
“Where have you been? I went by Franklin’s and you weren’t there. I called your phone and you didn’t answer. What’s going on with you, Lilly? It’s like you never have time for me anymore.”
For the second time in my life I saw my mother frazzled. The first time was when my father left.
“Everything’s fine, Mom, I’ve just been busy is all.” I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.
“Where were you?” she asked again.
“I had an OB appointment.”
I wasn’t going to go any further than that. I’d tell my mom when the time was right, but somehow it felt wrong to tell her before I told Devin.
“Everything’s OK I’m assuming?”
“Yes, everything’s good.”
She eyed me for a few before finally sighing loudly.
“What aren’t you telling me?” She started tapping her freshly manicured nails on the kitchen counter. “Ever since you met Devin you’ve been different. At first I liked seeing you happy, but now I feel like your pulling away from me.”