“Shelby, right?” the woman asked as Shelby approached. “I’m Fran. Nice to see you again.”
“Hi. This should be fun. Very spring-like.”
Fran handed Shelby a pair of gardening gloves. “I like to get my annual volunteer project done early. Then I don’t have to feel guilty for the rest of the year.”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way, but you’re right. Good for us.”
Shelby collected a half-dozen baskets while Fran opened a bag of soil. Together they maneuvered it into place so they could fill the baskets to the designated mark.
“He’s good-looking,” Fran said, nodding toward Aidan. “When I first met you two, you said you were just friends. Is that true?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m sorry to be nosy, but why? If you’re both available, why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of that?”
Shelby didn’t know how to answer the question. Oh, she had plenty of words, but no one ever believed them. “It’s an experiment,” she said at last. “I needed to learn to trust men and Aidan, well, he needed some time off his regular life.” Because what Aidan was dealing with was his business, she thought.
“We agreed to be friends for six months. To get to know each other and simply hang out and do things without letting sex get in the way.”
“But sometimes sex is the best part,” Fran pointed out. “Don’t you miss it?”
“Of course. Aidan’s totally hot and I’d have to be dead not to think about it. But doing without is better.”
“Why?”
“We’re focused on what’s important. I’ve really grown and changed in the past few months. I’m a better person.”
“Sure.” Fran sounded doubtful. “I guess that’s worth something. I’m not saying sex is the only thing that matters, but honestly, I don’t know how you’re doing it. I would simply throw myself at him.”
Shelby busied herself with smoothing the soil so that Fran couldn’t see her face. She had thrown herself at Aidan. More than once. And he kept telling her no. She knew why. At least, she was pretty sure she did.
Unless he was just being kind.
The concept was so shocking, she nearly fell over.
“You okay?” Fran asked.
“Yes. Sorry. I lost my balance. Let me start taking the flowers out of the plastic containers. You can put them in the pots.”
“That works.”
Shelby concentrated on removing the little squares of soil and roots, then passing the plants over to Fran. Her fingers were moving in one direction, but her brain was somewhere else.
Was that it? What if Aidan had no interest in her? What if he really did just think of her as a friend? Maybe he was saying all that other stuff to be kind. She knew that he liked her...at least as a friend. So he wouldn’t intentionally hurt her.
Was that it? She didn’t want it to be, but maybe it was. Maybe he was embarrassed by her behavior. Or worse—maybe he felt sorry for her! She couldn’t stand that. Just thinking about it made her face get hot. She wanted to run. She felt embarrassed and ashamed.
She watched him circulate among the groups and knew it was just a matter of time until he joined them. What was she going to say?
Whatever was most appropriate for the situation, she told herself. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Liking someone wasn’t bad. Wanting to make love with Aidan didn’t make her an evil person. She was attracted to him. There was no shame in that.
“You ladies doing all right?” Aidan asked.
Shelby forced herself to look up and smile. “We’re great. With so many people helping, we’ll be done in no time.”