Would she? Or was that as much a lie as the sex had been. Because what she’d just done hadn’t been about connecting or even getting off. Not for her. It had been about distracting him. He’d been had.
She walked to her closet and pulled out a robe, then yawned broadly. “Thanks, Walker. I’d ask you to stay, but with Zoe and all.” She looked at her clock radio. “Wow, when did it get so late? You must be exhausted from your day. Don’t let me keep you.”
“I HAVE TWENTY-SEVEN hundred dollars,” Elissa told the female attorney sitting across from her, wishing she’d had that money five years ago and had taken care of this then. “I’m not kidding about that. When that’s gone, I’m lucky to scrape together twenty-five dollars a week.”
Sally Chasley smiled. “Don’t worry, Elissa. We charge fees on a sliding scale basis. Right now the most important issue is dealing with your problem. You said you’re being harassed by your ex-husband.”
“No. Neil and I were never married. We were living together, with me paying for everything. He uses drugs, sometimes heavily. It gets expensive. Anyway, I got pregnant and he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused and I left.” Ran was more like it, Elissa thought grimly. She’d run for her life and Zoe’s.
“And then?” Sally prompted. “Did you get in touch with him after the baby was born?”
Elissa shook her head. “I saved money until I had enough for a bus ticket, then I came here.”
Sally frowned. “You didn’t discuss the baby with Neil? You didn’t talk to him about child support or getting involved in his daughter’s life?”
“I told you, Neil wanted me to have an abortion.”
“I know, but a lot of men panic at the thought of a baby. Especially a first child. But once that child is born, many of them change their minds. They want to be fathers.”
“Neil is only interested in his next fix.”
“Has he physically threatened you?”
Elissa didn’t like the direction of the conversation. “He beat me up when he found out I was pregnant.” Would that be enough? “He finds me and demands money. If I don’t pay him, he says he’s going to insist on being in Zoe’s life. Isn’t that extortion or something?”
Sally sighed. “Elissa, the law takes the rights of both parents seriously. Neil reacted badly one time. He hit you one time. It happens.”
Elissa couldn’t believe that. “How many times does he get to hit me before it’s not okay? What about his chronic drug use? I don’t want Zoe exposed to that.”
“Nor should she be. However, Neil still has the right to see his child. You could make a case for supervised visits. He would have to earn your and her trust.”
“I’ll never trust him,” she said flatly. “He doesn’t care about Zoe. He’s using her to get money from me.”
“You’re letting him,” Sally told her. “Stop paying. If what you’re saying is true, he’ll go away. If he pursues his parental rights, then perhaps you’re misjudging him. The bottom line is you can’t prevent a parent from seeing his or her children without cause. Not liking him isn’t sufficient grounds.”
It was her worst nightmare come true, she thought bitterly. No doubt the very sensible and clueless Sally would refuse to help her draft documents offering Neil a large sum of cash to relinquish his rights as a father.
“Thank you for your time,” Elissa said and stood. “If you’ll just tell me your hourly fee, I’ll pay you for your time.”
“Elissa, don’t go. Let’s talk about this more.”
“I don’t have anything else to say.”
ELISSA DROVE HOME Thursday after work feeling as if she’d been drop-kicked off a cliff. Both her body and her spirit ached and she suspected she only had herself to blame.
The meeting with the lawyer had been a disaster. Sally had offered nothing constructive. The idea that Neil was actually interested in Zoe was beyond stupid and it terrified her that a reasonably intelligent professional would even consider it. Did that mean the courts would lean that way, as well? If push came to shove, could Neil get visitation rights?
If only he would go away for a few years, she thought. He was known to disappear for months at a time, but she didn’t think she was going to get that lucky. Him finding her at the craft fair meant he suspected she had resources and therefore cash. If anything, his appearances might become more frequent.
She pulled up in front of her apartment and climbed out of her car. Zoe came running toward her.
“Mommy, Mommy, I love school so much!! We made a little book about our summer and I brought mine home to show you. And I brought my lunch today but tomorrow is tacos. Is that okay? Can I buy lunch tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
Her daughter flung herself at her. Elissa caught her and held her close. Okay, whatever else might be screwed up in her life, Zoe was exactly right. She was worth any price, any hardship and there was no way in hell Neil was getting his hands on her.
“So you had a good day, huh?” Elissa asked as they walked toward the apartment. “Were you good for Mrs. Ford?”
“Oh, she’s not here,” Zoe said happily. “She’s playing bridge. Walker is with me.”
Elissa stopped on the bottom step of her small porch. Shame and embarrassment rose up inside of her. Her face burned, her throat got tight and she wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.
She hadn’t seen him since Monday night when she’d used sex to shut him up and get him out of the apartment.
After he’d left, she’d felt awful. Cheap and mean and disgusting. Seven years ago, she’d used her body to get a job after she and Mitch broke up and afterward, she’d felt so horrified with herself she’d vowed to never do anything like that again. But when backed into a corner, she’d taken the easy way out.
She hated herself for what she’d done and she was terrified to know what he must think of her. Sure, she’d known there could never be anything between them—he’d made that clear on multiple occasions—but she’d liked knowing they were friends and that he at least respected her. Now all that was gone.
“Come on, Mommy,” Zoe said, tugging on her hand.
Elissa couldn’t think of a way to avoid the encounter, so she sucked in a breath and stepped into the apartment.
Walker stood in the center of the room. A half-finished puzzle sat on the coffee table next to a couple of juice boxes.
He’d been in her house before, but this time was different. She felt exposed and embarrassed.
“I, ah, want to thank you for looking after Zoe,” she said, refusing to raise her gaze above the center of his chest. “I’m sorry Mrs. Ford bothered you. It’s the middle of your workday.”
“Not a problem.”
That couldn’t be true, she thought, wishing she could think of a gracious way to end the conversation.
“I need to get changed,” she said, motioning to her uniform, then practically running toward her bedroom.
She closed the door behind her and did her best to avoid looking at the bed. After changing, she wished she could hide out forever, but that wasn’t an option. She would have to face him sometime. Maybe it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later.
Or maybe he’d just left, she thought hopefully. Maybe he didn’t want to see her any more than she’d wanted to see him. But she had a feeling her luck wasn’t that good.
Sure enough, when she returned to the living room, she found Zoe engrossed in a video and Walker standing in the entrance to the kitchen. While she longed to settle next to her daughter, she knew Walker deserved an explanation, so she entered the kitchen and carefully closed the door behind them.
Once they were alone, she braced herself for the attack, but what he said instead was, “There’s an opening for an assistant manager at Buchanan’s. It’s the lunch shift, but you’d need to work a couple of nights a week. Maybe one weekend night. We have full benefits, including matching on the 401K. Management also has a profit-sharing plan, but that wouldn’t kick in for six months.” He named a salary that made her knees shake. “You interested?”
“Are you offering me a job?” she asked, not able to believe it.
“Yes.”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “I know plenty.”
If possible, her blush deepened. “I meant you don’t know anything about my work life. If I show up on time, what kind of work I do. I have no management experience and I’ve never worked in a restaurant other than Eggs ’n’ Stuff. Why would you think I’m qualified?”
“I’ve seen you work until your fingers are swollen. You’re always out of here plenty early, so I know you get to your shift on time. The job is considered entry level management. You’d learn as you go.”
It was a terrific opportunity. So why did she have a knot in her stomach?
“I like the job I have,” she told him.
His gaze narrowed. “This one’s better.”
“I don’t want to work nights. I’m not willing to give up my time with Zoe.”
“We’re talking one or two evenings.”
“I don’t…” She swallowed. “I won’t work for someone I’ve slept with.”
There. She’d said it. Now he was going to pounce all over her and want to know why things had gone the way they had.
“Dammit, Elissa,” Walker said, careful to keep his voice low, which she appreciated. “What the hell kind of game is this? You know it’s a good job. Why won’t you consider it? If your reasons are about me, don’t worry. I’m a temp.”
“You think things are going to be better when your grandmother comes back? You think she won’t fire me that first day?”
“We do a contract. She won’t be able to.”
“Oh, great. So the president of the company will be stuck with me. That should be fun.”
“I’m trying to help.”
“This isn’t helping. Besides, I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” He paused and drew in a breath, as if trying to control his temper. “You’re not fine,” he repeated. “Something is wrong. Do you think I’m stupid? Whatever it is had to be pretty damn big for you to go to that kind of extreme just to change the subject. What is it?”
“Nothing I want to talk about with you.”
“Look around. You don’t have anyone else. You need me.”
She didn’t need anyone. Never had, never would. “Talk about an ego,” she told him, stepping forward so she could make her point without raising her voice. “I was doing just fine before you came along.”
He made a sound that was suspiciously like a growl. “I’m not talking about money or the fact that I can unfasten lug nuts. I’m the one person you can talk to. Who else are you going to tell? Mrs. Ford?”
“I don’t make it a habit of talking about my problems.”
His gaze narrowed. “So there is something wrong.”
“No. I meant in a general sense. Look, Walker, if you want to make a complaint, put it in writing. Otherwise—”
He dropped his hands to his sides. “Do not tell me to leave.”
“It’s my house.”
She could feel the frustration building up inside of him. Despite his physical presence and strength, she wasn’t afraid. He would never hurt her.
“Something happened at the craft fair,” he said. “I know and you know. So can we please stop playing this game so you can tell me what the hell it is?”
She opened her mouth to tell him no, but suddenly she couldn’t. He was right—she didn’t have anyone else in her life.
“Zoe’s father showed up on Sunday,” she said quietly. “He’s in Seattle with some band. He wanted money. It’s the same thing every time—either I pay him off or he’s going to become a part of Zoe’s life.”
“Did you give him money?”
“All I’d made that day.”
“And you think he’ll be back?”
“I know he will.”
Instead of speaking, Walker moved close and put his arms around her. She resisted the embrace.
“I’m fine,” she insisted. “I can handle this.”
“No one doubts that, but even the Marines sometimes call in reinforcements.”
He pulled her against him and she gave in because she didn’t have the strength to keep standing on her own.
“I’m so scared,” she whispered.
“I’m right here. We can handle this. I’ll help.”
She wanted to make him promise that he meant what he said. That he wouldn’t change his mind.
She was a woman who didn’t trust men in her life and he was a man who didn’t trust himself. But her gut said to go with him. Despite everything, Walker was turning out to be the best kind of hero.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
DANI SPENT SO MUCH TIME on her hair and makeup that she felt like a beauty contestant. Ryan, aka the weasel loser, had called in sick for the past couple of days, but he was expected back and she needed to be braced to face him. Hence the extra time spent on her appearance, along with the decision to dress in a killer pair of black slacks and fitted silk blouse. If there was any kind of spillage from the kitchen, she would be crushed, but the risk was worth it. She wanted Ryan to regret what he’d lost. She wanted him to pay.