"You keep your distance and speak in a civil tongue in my house!" The frost in her voice froze Fitzgerald in place, his mouth agape.
"We're all a bit upset about this business," Groucho said, as nervous as a speech class drop out. He pulled at Fitzgerald's arm and tugged him a few feet away. "Apologies are in order all around."
"You haven't seen 'upset' if you don't find Martha," Cynthia said, leaving no doubt that said apologies would not be forthcoming from her corner.
"You'll go to jail for this," Fitzgerald muttered rubbing his cheek. "That was assault of a peace officer in the performance of his duty."
"That's going to look really cute, Seymour," Dean said. "You outsize my wife by a foot and a hundred pounds." Fat man in black stifled a laugh while the acting sheriff glowered.
"Look," Groucho said, "Sheriff Fitzgerald didn't mean to be so abrupt and Mrs. Dean reacted too quickly, but let's all forget it and move on. A little girl is missing." Though both assumptions were totally incorrect, neither combatant pointed this out. Groucho quickly moved on, describing what happened.
Patsy Boyd apparently lifted a set of keys from a worker in the lodgings where she and Martha were temporarily quartered and made her escape in a twenty-year old Buick. Details were sketchy to nonexistent. The two were sharing a room and the escape was not discovered until the following morning. An all-points bulletin was in effect.
"My people tell me all the little girl talked about was Ouray and you folks," Groucho said, "so I figured she and her old lady were coming this way."
"God," Cynthia said. "How could you let this happen? The woman is a criminal! You let her kidnap that poor child!"
"We're certainly embarrassed about that, ma'am. We're doing everything to get them back. But we're not sure it was a kidnapping exactly. The child may have gone willingly and there's no reason to believe the mother would harm her."
"She's too young to make that kind of decision!" Cynthia shot back.
The fat man spoke for the first time. "Of course you're right. We meant we don't feel the child's in any physical danger or being held against her will."
"But anyone harboring them is breaking the law-especially in my county," Fitzgerald said, the usual venom in his voice.
Groucho couldn't wait to leave and after a call-us-if-you-hear-anything speech, he handed out a business card to each of the Deans. So did fat man. Fitzgerald growled something about keeping an eye on them, but he stood far enough away from Cynthia to protect his other cheek.