'Well, you're here now. Are you getting in so I can turn off the light, or am I going to have to turn over and try to sleep all night with the light on?'
She drew back the covers, which felt very heavy, and crawled in beside him. Without thinking, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, she went straight to him, put her head on his shoulder, draped an arm and leg across his body.
'I want you to know that this is entirely against my better judgement,' he said, but in such a way as contradicted his own words.
She worried that he might change his mind and ask her to leave. But he put his arm comfortably around her and left it there, his hand resting on the round of her hip as though it were meant to be there. Her heart settled down altogether when his breathing assumed the deep rhythm of sleep, and she felt herself becoming deliciously drowsy, in a way that she had never experienced before. That calm, bifurcated state of mind that stole upon her when they sat together in the upstairs sitting room came upon her now, only more deeply, with much more vivid, poignant and real imaginings. She snuggled closer, and felt a warm sort of glow begin inside her, spreading until it reached the tips of her toes. She loved him. And she was with him. That was all that mattered. This business with Albert Askrigg would all be over one day, and she would be able to visit her friend Tessa whenever she pleased.
And yet . . . and yet . . .
What did Theo feel towards her? If only he would just tell her. He felt something, that much was obvious. But what? If he loved her then it was a type of love she didn't understand. True, he had initiated their comfortable routine, nights, in the upstairs sitting room. And, true, he had allowed her into his bed, a place where only married people were supposed to sleep together. But certain things didn't add up. Why had he kissed her, only to leave her wondering why he had done so? It was obvious, even to her, that he could have her whenever he wanted. But he neither led her on nor used her. Nor had he proposed or given any indication that he ever would. Yet he had made it obvious that he wouldn't have sex with her because they weren't married. Which raised the obvious question: What did it mean that he was allowing a young girl to sleep in his bed, when in the morning the entire staff, his mother and everyone else, would know?