How many times did she have to hear Holiday say "I don't know, Kylie, this is something you'll have to figure out for yourself"? Why did Kylie think this talk would be any different? Wasn't that the definition of insanity? To do the same thing over and over again and expect different results?
"Kylie?" Holiday's voice penetrated the blanket as she tapped on the door.
Leaving the blanket over her head, Kylie called out, "Come in."
Kylie heard the door open into her tiny room, she heard it shut, and she heard Holiday come to a stop. "That wasn't a very enthusiastic welcome," the camp leader said.
"You want me to fake it?" Kylie moved the blanket off her head and sat up. Socks moved to snuggle in beside her.
Holiday smiled and sat down at the foot of Kylie's bed. "I know it's tough."
"You don't know the half of it." Kylie pulled her knees to her chest and watched Socks move over to the camp leader and rub his face against her arm. "I had a plan to figure it all out. All I needed to do was get Daniel to hang around long enough to tell me what he was, so I'd know what I am.
He finally shows up tonight, but he doesn't have any answers." Kylie's throat tightened.
Holiday looked genuinely puzzled. "How could he not have the answers?"
"Because he was adopted. He didn't realize he wasn't human until he was eighteen. And I don't even know where to start to find the answers now."
"You'll figure it out," Holiday said, stroking Socks from his head to his tail. "I believe that with all my heart."
Kylie's eyes started to sting, which basically meant that the tears were on their way. "Does liking the taste of blood make me a vampire?"
Holiday hesitated.
"Wait. Let me guess. You don't know, do you? And then you're going to tell me that this is probably something I just need to find out for myself."
Kylie wiped the first of the tears from her eyes.
Holiday let go of a deep sigh, then reached over and took Kylie's hand.
"You're only partially right. Right in the fact that I don't know if you are vampire. But I think I can honestly say that liking the taste of blood doesn't make you one. I know of humans who enjoy drinking blood and that doesn't make them vampire. Even if some of them are freaks and they think it does."
"So this whole thing could be insignificant." Kylie pulled her hand away from Holiday.
"Yeah, it could be insignificant." Holiday's tone left a lot of doubt.
"But you don't believe that."
"I think it probably means something. I just don't know if it means you're vampire."
"But what else could it mean?"
Holiday gazed at Kylie with a ton of sympathy shimmering in her green eyes. "I don't know. But ... I do believe that if you keep searching, all the answers you really need will be answered."
"Really need?" Kylie repeated Holiday's words. "As if I don't need all of the answers?"
Holiday raised her right eyebrow. "We never figure it all out, Kylie.
Some things are meant to be a mystery."
"Maybe some things," Kylie said. "But not this. Not about what I am. I feel as if everything in my life is on hold until I have this answer." "Then keep searching," Holiday said.
Kylie dropped her head on her knees and moaned. "See, I knew you would say that." Socks came running over as if to check on her.
Holiday put her hand on top of Kylie's head. "When one door closes, find another."
Kylie gazed back up. "And what if there isn't another door?"
"Then you try the window."
"And if there's not a window?" Kylie asked.
"Then you find a sledgehammer and make a window. Life isn't supposed to be easy. Generally speaking, the harder something is the more rewarding the results will be."
"But what if I fail?" Kylie asked. "What if someone is stabbed to death because I wasn't smart enough to find the right answers? I've done what you said and asked specific questions and all the ghost ever does is repeat the warning. She just keeps saying, 'This will happen to someone else,' if I don't stop it. She won't tell me who, when, or where. How the heck am I supposed to find those answers?"
"How do you know someone will be stabbed?" Holiday asked.
"Because she's bleeding profusely and it looks like her gown has been sliced and diced. Bullet holes are round."
"You've seen a bullet hole?" Holiday asked.
"On television."
Holiday bit back a grin. "Okay, I see where you might think it's about a stabbing, and she could be trying to tell you that, but remember when Daniel first came to you, you thought he'd been wrongly accused of a war crime."
Kylie slumped back on her pillow. "I suck at this."
"At what?" Holiday asked. "Communicating with ghosts? I told you, they're the ones who need a refresher course in getting their messages across."
"Not just the ghosts," Kylie said. "Everything. I suck at not being human."
"Not true." Holiday bumped Kylie with her shoulder. "You've done better than I ever thought you would."
Kylie cut her eyes up to the camp leader. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
Holiday chuckled. "Yeah, it is." She paused. "Hey, if it makes you feel any better, sometimes I'm pretty sure I suck at everything, too."
Kylie stared at Holiday and saw a touch of regret flickering in the depth of her eyes. "Do any of those things involve Burnett?"
"That is a subject I think I'll pass on right now." Holiday let go of a deep breath that hinted at frustration and Kylie felt certain it was all about Burnett.
Kylie remembered telling Miranda she shouldn't ask her about relationships, but for some reason Kylie couldn't stop herself from speaking up now. "Della was right tonight when she said you seemed to care about him."
Holiday twisted her ponytail in a tight knot. "I care about world peace.
I care about the mangled moral compasses of today's politicians. I care about all the innocent creatures pancaked on that stretch of road two miles past our camp. Point is, I care about a lot of things, and my caring isn't going to change a thing-especially not a relationship between myself and that stubborn, egotistical, macho vampire."
"You're attracted to him," Kylie said. "And don't try to deny it. You've even admitted that much to me."
"Okay, I won't deny that. He's got that whole hard body, vampire
magnetism going for him. But when I was young, I had a crush on Big Bird.