"Why would he ... No, why would you tell him anything?"
"He really likes you, Holiday."
"How he feels doesn't matter. I didn't share that with you to tell anyone else." She stopped talking, but the frustration flared in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I am. And I know it was wrong, but I think ... I mean, it's almost as if you're letting what your fiance did to you stop you from seeing the possibilities with Burnett. You're punishing him for something that he didn't do."
Holiday's expression didn't soften. She swallowed a deep breath. "Kylie, what happens between Burnett and me isn't..." She closed her mouth and the muscles in her jaw clenched. "Why don't we stop this talk right now and we'll take this up later. I need some time."
Kylie felt a huge hole open up in her chest. "Please don't ... don't be mad at me."
Holiday held up her hand. "I'm not exactly mad. I'm ... disappointed."
"That's even worse," Kylie said, and her chest grew tighter. "Really, I'm sorry."
Holiday stood up and motioned for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." Tears prickled Kylie's eyes, and more than anything she wanted to argue, to beg Holiday to forgive her. To plead with her not to let her slip-up change the relationship they'd found. But something deep inside told Kylie it could be too late.
At almost nine that night Kylie lay in her bed staring at the ceiling with a dad-blasted skunk sharing her pillow. She'd opted out of going down to the dining hall and participating in pizza and basketball night. Burnett had put up a basketball court and all the guys had formed teams. With as little sleep as she'd gotten these last few days, you'd think she'd have been out like a blown bulb. Not.
She cut her eyes to the drawer where she'd placed Lucas's letter and for a flicker of a second her mind switched from her Holiday problems to her Lucas problems, and then it went to her Derek problems. Next her mind came against the idea of being werewolf. Oh, joy!
When her mind slapped against the whole issue of someone she loved being in danger, Kylie instantly recalled the feeling she'd gotten from the falls, that if she stayed on course, at least that problem would be okay. Too bad all her other issues didn't seem so manageable.
The ring of her phone brought a moan to her lips-not that she couldn't use a mental break from juggling her problems. And maybe if she was lucky, it was Sara, finally calling her back. Sure they weren't as close as they once had been, but she still cared about Sara, and she'd been thinking about her a lot lately. But was she up to talking with her former best friend?
"Don't want to startle you," she told Socks, who may or may not have the whole spraying thing down. "I need to reach for my phone." The animal opened one beady eye and looked at her and then let out a poor excuse for a meow.
Miranda had spent all day attempting to change Socks back to his ol' self. Kylie had finally told her to give it a rest. She even told her not to be so hard on herself, that this was just a hiccup. A huge, freaking hiccup, but Kylie didn't tell her that.
The phone stopped ringing and Kylie wasn't even compelled to check to see who'd called. She glanced at Socks again. "A really huge freaking hiccup," Kylie muttered. But considering she hoped that Holiday would forgive her, she decided it might be best to practice what she preached, or at least practice what she prayed for ... forgiveness. And she had prayed.
Remembering how Holiday had looked so betrayed brought a wave of pain to Kylie's heart.
How could telling Burnett about Holiday have felt almost right at the time? And now feel so wrong? And yes, telling Burnett the truth had felt right. She'd been compelled to do it, as if her gut had given her the push.
So much for listening to her gut!
Her phone rang again. Pulling her cell over, not certain she wanted to talk to anyone, Kylie studied the number ... and a sudden knot swelled in her chest.
Chapter Thirteen
Mom. The realization hit and hit hard, too. She never thought she'd feel this, but she missed her mom. Wished she were here to ... to just be here.
And it wasn't just because they'd sort of found new ground with their relationship. Kylie even appreciated the old ground they'd had.
As much as Kylie had sworn her mom had never loved her, the longer Kylie was away from her the more she began to see things differently.
Sure her mom had been emotionally distant, and sure Kylie wasn't really anything like her. But for some reason now, Kylie saw all the other ways her mom had shown love. The pancakes every Saturday morning. The loaning her the credit card anytime Kylie mentioned she needing anything.
Even the stinkin' sex pamphlets showed her mom cared-not that Kylie wouldn't be happy if the pamphlets stopped, but still ... Hitting the talk button, she fought back a wave of nostalgia. "Hi, Mom." Kylie swore she wasn't going to cry, and with effort she managed to keep her voice from shaking.
"Sweetheart?" The immediate concern in her mom's voice had the knot in Kylie's throat growing, and emotion stung her sinuses. "Are you okay?"
How could her mom know something was wrong when all Kylie had said was two words? Was her mom psychic? No, she was only human. It had to be maternal instinct. And her mom had never lacked that. "I'm okay." Kylie bit the inside her cheek to keep from weeping. "What happened, baby?"
Tears formed in Kylie's eyes. "It's nothing." She watched Socks reposition himself on the pillow and she prayed he wasn't about to spray her. Getting skunked by her skunk-cat would be the absolute last straw. "Just a hard day, is all."
"What kind of hard day? Do you want to come home? All you have to say is the word and I'll drive up there tonight and pick you up."
"No, Mom. I love it here." Kylie recalled her mom hadn't given her an absolute yes on signing her up for boarding school. Which meant Kylie shouldn't be talking about anything negative concerning Shadow Falls right now. She really had to get her mom to agree-especially if ... if Kylie ended up being werewolf. How in the hell did one explain that to a human parent? "I just ... I made a mistake today and someone I really care about is upset with me."
"We all make mistakes," Mom said. "You just need to apologize."
"I did."
"And they didn't forgive you? Are they still mad at you?" her mom asked.
"Not so much mad. Just disappointed in me." Kylie's chest swelled with regret as she recalled Holiday saying those words to her. Kylie knew what it felt like to be disappointed and hurt by someone you trusted. It was worse than being mad. Like her dad. Okay, with him she was both mad and hurt, but the "hurt" feelings had her heart breaking. While being mad and angry almost felt good, no good feelings came from feeling hurt.