“I didn’t finish the shakers,” she whispered to me.
“On it,” I said, rushing to finish her job.
I looked at the clock, wondering how we’d gotten so far behind schedule. Usually, we’d finish with ten minutes to spare.
Phaedra didn’t reveal her mood to the customers, but Kirby and I had to work extra hard to keep her smiling. An entire pitcher of sun tea crashed to the floor, Hector broke a stack of plates, and I didn’t get one of the saltshakers screwed on tightly enough, so Chuck had to make a Philly cheesesteak sandwich on the double to replace the one with more salt in it than what had been in my hair.
Kirby seated the author and her assistant, their second visit in as many days.
“Afternoon,” I said with a smile. “Back again, huh?”
“It’s so good,” the author said. “I wanted to try the Cuban before we left.”
“This is not what I ordered,” a man said loudly to Phaedra.
Dwayne Kaufman was sitting alone in the corner, licking his thumb after tossing the top bun of his burger to the floor.
“Uh-oh,” Kirby whispered in my ear. “Dwayne’s been drinking again. Should I call the police?”
I shook my head. Who gets drunk before noon? “Let Phaedra handle it.”
“I said, no ketchup! And it’s fucking cold!” Dwayne yelled.
“My apologies, hon,” Phaedra said. “I’ll get that fixed right away, Dwayne.” She scooped up his plate and rushed through the double doors.
“I’m not your hon!” he called after her. “Piece-of-shit café.”
I walked over to Dwayne and smiled. “Can I get you a coffee while Chuck grills that up for you?”
“Fuck off,” he grumbled, facing me but keeping his eyes on the floor. “I just want a fucking burger the way I ordered it. Is that so hard?”
His cup of tea was over half full, but I wanted to keep him occupied until Phaedra returned. “She’s working on it. Let me get you more tea,” I said, picking up his cup.
He grabbed my wrist. “Get your tater-tot tits outta my face!”
The liquid sloshed from the cup onto my shoes as I tried to pull away, and then it happened again when another large hand encompassed Dwayne’s wrist.
Dwayne froze, and so did I.
Taylor had suddenly appeared next to me. “What did you just call her?” His voice was low and ominous.
I began to speak, but Dwayne let go of my hand and laughed nervously.
“I don’t want more tea,” he growled. “I want to be left alone!”
Taylor let go of Dwayne’s hand and stepped back, making way for Phaedra.
“Here you are, Dwayne. Cheeseburger straight off the grill, no ketchup. So sorry,” Phaedra said, louder than necessary.
She put her body between Dwayne and me, and I took another step back.
“How does that taste? Better?” she asked.
He took a bite. Closing his eyes, he chewed like a wild animal, bread and a piece of onion falling from his mouth. “Yes. Took you long enough.”
Phaedra motioned for me to get busy, and she shot Taylor a look, but I wasn’t sure what it meant.
I escorted Taylor back to his table. He was sitting alone this time.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I said. “What can I get you to drink?”
“I’ll have one of your famous Cherry Cokes, please.”
“Coming right up,” I said through my teeth.
“Hey,” he said, tapping the bottom of my elbow before I took a step, “are you mad?”
I paused, glancing over at Dwayne. “I had it covered.”
“I believe you.”
“So, you didn’t need to step in,” I hissed.
“Probably not.”
“Stay out of my business. I don’t need your help. Ever.”
He relaxed back in his chair, unfazed. “Okay.”
“That’s it? Just okay?”
He chuckled. “I understand.”
I could feel him watching me as I made my way to the drink station.
“I’m sorry,” I said, stopping at the author’s table. “What can I get you to drink?”
She shook her head, her eyes bright. “This is the most fun I’ve had in weeks. I’ll have an orange juice.”
“I’ll have the mango sunrise,” her assistant said.
I nodded and continued my trek. Dwayne held out his cup in front of me, and I plowed through it, spilling tea all over him and me.
Instinctively, I raised my hands, palms out, and stopped on my tiptoes even though it was already too late. “Oh my gosh, I’ll get you another one right away.”
“Goddamn it, you bitch!” he yelled at the same time. His chair complained against the tiled floor as he stood, towering over me.
“All right, now, you’ve pissed me off.” Taylor’s strained voice carried from his seat across the room.
In the next moment, he was next to me. He put Dwayne into a headlock and guided him toward the door.
“No! Stop! Please!” I begged.
Each word was mixed with Dwayne’s protests.
Everyone in the room was frozen, staring at Dwayne flailing his arms and trying to push Taylor back but to no avail.
I covered my mouth, and Kirby watched helplessly from her podium. Just before Taylor made it through the door, Phaedra blew her famous two-fingers-in-the-mouth whistle, one that could be heard even in the high school football stadium full of people. I winced at the shrill noise.
“Knock it off!” Phaedra commanded.
The room was silent. Both Chuck and Hector were staring from the window. Dwayne stopped struggling, and Taylor released his neck.
“No one throws my customers out but me!” She marched over to Dwayne, narrowing her eyes. “Did you just verbally abuse my server?”
“She spilled my fucking tea all over me!” Dwayne said, pointing at me.
“This is a family-friendly establishment, and we do not say fuck!” Phaedra said, practically yelling the last part. “Come back when you get some manners, Dwayne!” She turned. “You know what? Not even then!” She looked to Taylor. “Take the trash out, kid.”
Taylor crossed his arms, glowering. Dwayne didn’t put up a fight. Instead, he walked out, ashamed.
Phaedra faced the rest of the café with a bright smile. “Does anyone need anything?”