I need to think.
I circle the human hive once more, and then fly away.
Stay, whisper the ravens.
The sight of the human female has reminded me that I am drakoni once more, though. I have a heart, and it is with Sasha. I cannot be the mindless beast she thinks I am. I cannot kill innocent females and their young. I cannot murder and destroy all simply because I am angry at one.
This Tate will die. He will die slowly and painfully, but it will not be here in the human hive. He will not take others with him.
I must hunt him. Find where he lurks. Wait for him to come out of his hole. Once I have spotted him, I will snatch him in my claws and bring him to my Sasha so she can watch me rend him limb from limb.
Slowly.
This will require stealth. The humans will be on alert if they see a dragon nearby. I fly a good distance away, behind one of the tall, crumbling metal nests, and turn to my two-legged form. The ravens go silent once I do, and I walk resolutely toward the human hive—the place Sasha calls Fort Dallas. I ignore the driving rain and the mud that clings to my skin. None of it matters. I pay no attention to the stink of their hive, or the noise that seems to flow endlessly from the wild minds of my people nearby. I make it to the metal barrier and climb it, then lie flat atop one of the rusted hulks so I can watch the people below.
I scan the human faces, looking for one in particular. I will not rest until I find him.
His days are few. My claws dig into the metal at the pleasing thought.
SASHA
Dakh’s gone for hours on end and I’m alone at the store. I don’t know what to think. I’m miserable at the thought of being the cause of his mind to snap again. And I’m still upset that we’re mentally linked and he didn’t tell me. Most of all I’m scared, lonely, and frightened.
I hate this. I hate that even now, Tate’s ruining my life.
My note to Emma has been untouched, and I write her another just because it’s either that or another seventeen pages of Sudoku or crosswords. I need the distraction of speaking to another human being, even if it’s only on paper. So I tell her all about Dakh and what I know. That he’s my boyfriend—in a way—and he used to be crazy, but he’s better now.
Except I don’t know if that’s the truth anymore, so I end up wadding up the letter and throwing it away. Maybe being mated to me has driven Dakh to madness and I’ll never see him again.
I’m so terrified of being abandoned again. Once upon a time, if you would have told me that security was the most important thing in the world, I would have laughed. But it’s what I crave more than anything. I want to know that I’m safe and protected. I want to know that I’m loved. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay, and that it actually will be okay. That it won’t just be a lie.
That someone will love me enough to stay with me.
I curl up in my blankets and blow out the scented candle I’m using as a light source. I’ll have to figure out something to do, but for tonight, I just want to wallow. Claudia would tell me to get off my ass and do something about my misery, but she’s not here. I’m all alone.
And it’s hard to keep being strong after so damn long.
I sniffle, allowing myself to give in to tears. Here I was feeling fond of Dakh and it feels like he’s betrayed me and left me all over again. I wonder if he’s destroying Fort Dallas even now.
I return, Dakh says, his voice as clear as if he was standing next to me.
I sit up in my bed, staring around me. “Are you here?”
Not yet. Soon.
“But you can hear me?”
I sense your thoughts. I do not need to hear your speaking voice.
Oh. I can’t help but feel relieved he’s coming back. And a little worried, too. His thoughts were so dark earlier.
You do not need to worry. I am myself.
Yeah, but there’s a hard edge in his mind that I know I’m not imagining. I decide to give the mental speak a try. Are you…okay?
Hearing your thoughts helps.
That’s not really an answer.
You did not like my silence before. I am trying to be better.
Fair enough. I was worried you wouldn’t come back. That you’d abandoned me for good.
Never. The thought is so vehement it startles me. I will always come back for you, Sasha. You are mine and I am yours.
That’s a little hard to process, considering I didn’t ask for this. But at the same time, I like hearing it. It takes away a lot of my anxiety. Thank you, Dakh.
All will be well between us, Sasha. This is just something I must do.
Um, what exactly did you do? Can I ask that?
But his mind is silent once more. Whatever it is that he’s feeling compelled to do—flame the fort, murder everyone inside, something along those lines—he’s not sharing it with me. And I can’t help but worry.
A short time later, I can’t stand waiting and light my lamp again, then start to read. Even as I do, I hear Dakh as he enters the store. I hear him moving around, but I don’t get up from where I’m reading my book. I’m trying to play it cool.
You forget I am connected to you. I can hear your thoughts.
Shit. I did forget. So much for that.
I like that you worry about me, he tells me. A moment later, Dakh appears in the candlelight, all golden and perfect. He stalks forward, and I feel a little shiver of apprehension and excitement at the sight of him. But he only climbs into bed next to me and pulls me close against his chest. His warmth and strength move over me, and I relax against him with a little sigh. He buries his face against my neck and inhales deeply. I missed your scent, my Sasha.
I missed you, too. I didn’t like being alone. His arms feel so good around me, and I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling.
I did not want to leave your side. He rubs his nose against my hair. I would be with you at all times if I could.
That makes me feel better. And yet, with the way he’s holding me, I wonder if he’s wanting sex? Is this him pressing his case? I’ll have sex with him again if it means he won’t abandon me.
I want no part of it if you do not want it, comes the vehement thought. We will not speak of it again.
I feel a little guilty at the anger in his thoughts, but also relieved. It means I can relax. I sigh and settle in against him, sleepy. Before I know it, I’m fast asleep in the dragon-man’s arms.