I knew my words were harsh, but the ones I left unspoken were even worse. And I knew Daryl. He had no sense of romance whatsoever and little tact, so he’d tell Tristan exactly what I’d said. When he did, Tristan would read into my words, like always, and hear everything I’d said and what I’d left unsaid.
Backing away, Daryl still wore a look of shock on his face as he stood with Tristan’s letter in his hand watching the door close in front of him. I walked back to my bed and slipped under the covers again, swearing that I wouldn’t come out again until Tristan was the one knocking on my door.
That pledge didn’t pan out either, though. As I lay there hearing someone knock on my door once again, I found it stunning that in a house where I was surrounded by mostly men I couldn’t be left alone. It was like being in the middle of every woman’s dream of having men who wanted to talk. To me, it was more like a nightmare.
I shuffled over to the door, fully prepared to read Daryl the riot act this time. This was my house, and he had it coming. Flinging it open, I saw Gage standing there looking down at me. Reaming someone out would have to wait.
“I just wanted to check to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“If you want to talk…”
Gage’s voice faded to silence, as if he instantly regretted his offer. In truth, I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to scream.
“What do you want to talk about? How my fiancé thinks making me kiss other men is a good idea? How I’m devastated over knowing that he’s obviously with Daryl and can’t be bothered to even fucking text me to tell me he misses me?”
With each syllable, my voice grew louder until by the end, I was yelling at my poor bodyguard-turned-fake boyfriend. At that moment, I didn’t care if I was hurting anyone else’s feelings. I was just sick of what I was feeling.
I turned away from Gage and walked back to my bed, suddenly exhausted from the weight of my emotions. He cautiously followed me, taking a seat next to me on the bed as I began to sob, and put his arm around my shoulders as they heaved from my crying.
“It’s okay, Nina. I know it seems like everything’s crazy now, but sometimes that’s how it has to be,” he said softly as I buried my face in his chest.
“I can’t do crazy anymore. This is too hard.”
For the first time since that night Tristan and I first made love, the thought that I couldn’t handle Tristan’s world settled into my mind. I still loved him, but I just didn’t know if I was the right person to deal with all that came with him.
Gage let me have a good, long cry, and I sat back from him to wipe the tears from under my eyes. Shaking my head, I apologized for being such a fucked up mess. “I’m sorry you have to see this. I bet right now you’re wishing you never said yes to pretending to be my boyfriend, although I’m guessing Daryl didn’t give you much choice, did he?”
A gentle smile lit up his face. “Not really, but it’s okay. This isn’t so bad. I’m used to crying females. I had three sisters all within five years of me, so high school was an almost constant stream of crying and screaming.”
“Three sisters so close together? The bathroom arrangement alone must have been a nightmare.”
Chuckling, he said, “I don’t remember seeing the bathroom much in high school. Thankfully, we had a half bath in the basement or my father and I would have been in real trouble.”
“Your family sounds nice.”
“My family sounds like a bunch of crazy people. It’s okay. You don’t have to lie. I know.”
Sniffling back the last of my tears, I said, “I don’t know what it’s like to have a family like that. My mother died when I was little, and my sister’s six years older than me. By the time I was old enough to want to hang around with her, she wasn’t interested in hanging around with me.”
He nodded. “Yeah, siblings can be like that. I never had a brother, but I had three younger sisters, and I can tell you I never wanted to hang with them back then. People change as they get older, so maybe you and your sister could hang out now.”
I shook my head, all too sure that would never be the case with Kim. “I doubt it. My sister and I are just two very different people. Do you know that even before she met Tristan she accused him of being a murderer? A murderer! She hadn’t even laid eyes on him or ever talked to him for a minute and she was sure he was some ax murderer or something. That’s who she is. I just don’t think she ever wanted me to be happy.”
“I’m hoping he’s not an ax murderer because I’m not in the mood to defend myself right now since if he saw us sitting together like this he might want to kill me,” Gage said with a smile.