Ignoring him, Patrick went to the shower. After flipping on the water, he grabbed Aidan’s arm and jerked him into the stall. Ice cold water rained down on him. Even through his clothes, each droplet felt like a jagged knife piercing his skin. He tried to get out, but Patrick slammed the shower door shut. “You’re going to stay in there until you can sober up and discuss what happened like a man!”
Aidan thrashed against the door, but Patrick held firm. “I’m too old for this bullshit, son. I may not be around in nine years when you try to pull another stunt like this again. At least let me die in peace knowing that you’ve got a wife and child to love!”
Patrick’s words froze Aidan more than the cold water pelting him. Just the thought of how he had hurt Emma sent pangs of regret reverberating through him. Instead of protesting any further, he turned and stood under the shower nozzle, letting the icy water sting him like the lashes of the whip. Hanging his head, he wished it was a whip. He deserved to be beaten for everything he had said and done in the last few weeks to Emma and in turn his son. Physical punishment would be a welcome relief to release the emotional torment within him.
“You manning up now?” Patrick asked.
“Yes sir,” Aidan murmured under the stream of water.
“Good. I’ll go put on a pot of coffee. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to talk.”
Biting his lip, Aidan couldn’t stop the tears filling his eyes from spilling over his cheeks. He wanted more than anything for his father to somehow find a way to help him get Emma back. “Thanks, Pop,” he said, his voice wavering with emotion.
“You’re welcome.”
Aidan forced himself to stay under the water until his cloudy senses became clearer. When he could walk without staggering, he got out of the shower. His teeth chattered as he tore off his soaked clothes. After toweling off at record speed, he padded into the bedroom and threw on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt.
When he got to the kitchen, Patrick sat at the table. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Sorry I had to go all Marines on you.”
Aidan shook his head. “I deserved it. Frankly, you should’ve kicked my ass.”
“Becoming a masochist, are we?”
Shrugging, Aidan poured himself a cup of coffee. “I deserve nothing less. I hurt the ones I care about the most.”
Patrick sighed. “I don’t know about that. There’s a lot of goodness in you, Aidan. I wish you could see that.”
“Must not be much goodness in me if I keep f**king up.”
“Speaking of that…” Patrick eased back in his chair, resting his arm along the top rung. “Before I offer to help, I have to know one thing.”
Aidan arched his brows and took a tentative sip of coffee. The scorching liquid seared his tongue. “What is it?” he croaked.
“Do you honestly want Emma back because you love her, or is it because you feel guilty?”
“This isn’t like what happened with Amy,” Aidan protested.
“It’s just a simple question, son. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Emma and your son or not? I mean, most men who are truly in love don’t go and try to sleep with other women.”
Hot, bitter tears stung Aidan’s eyes. “I do love her, Pop. That’s the God’s honest truth.” He ground the tears out of his eyes with his fists. Sinking down in a chair across from Patrick, he related all the details of the day on the dock. “Even though I couldn’t say it to her then or even tonight when she wanted me to, I do love Emma.”
“So the year you tried to get Amy back that was all about—”
Aidan closed his eyes in pain. “Guilt, not love. She managed to kill the love I had for her by deceiving me. But because of the baby, I was going to stand by her.”
“Does Emma know any of this?”
Snapping open his eyelids, Aidan replied, “I only told her about the cheating. I didn’t think she could handle the rest.”
“I think you need to tell her.”
Aidan grimaced. “I will. If she ever speaks to me again.”
“I have a feeling she’ll come around.”
“Don’t tell me it’s because of your damn Irish intuition,” Aidan said, quirking his eyebrows.
“No, it’s because Becky got a hold of her leaving here tonight.”
Groaning, Aidan rubbed his hands over his face. “Great. I’m sure they’ll be leading a charge over here at any moment to roast my manhood over an open flame!”
Patrick chuckled. “Don’t sell your sister short. She and the rest of the girls may want to castrate you for your actions, but they do love you and want to see you happy.” He leaned forward and patted Aidan’s hand. “And they know how you’ve screwed up in the past and sabotaged your own happiness.”
Aidan’s nostrils flared in anger. “They don’t know the whole story, Pop. They don’t know what Amy did!”
“I know that. It’s a secret that stayed firmly between you, Amy, and myself.”
Clenching his fists, Aidan said, “Don’t you know how many times I wanted to scream at Mom when she was singing Amy’s praises, throwing it in my face about how she was married and happy? If she had only known it was Amy who f**ked me up in the head for any other woman.”
“That was your choice not to tell her, son. I didn’t like keeping it from her. Your mother and I had so few secrets, but I kept yours.”
Aidan softened his furious expression. “I appreciated it, Pop.”
Patrick smiled. “You’re welcome.” He got up and poured out the remainder of his coffee in the sink. “So, you’re going to talk to Emma and tell her the truth about Amy?”
“Yeah. Just as soon as she’ll speak to me.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” Patrick glanced at his watch. “Well, I guess I better be hitting the road.”
Aidan’s chest clenched at the prospect of being alone. “It’s awfully late for you to be out driving. Maybe you should stay here for the night.”
He met his father’s gaze. With his eyes, Aidan tried saying what he was too embarrassed to admit: He didn’t want to be alone.
Patrick gave a brief nod of his head. “I guess you’re right. You don’t mind putting your old man up for the night?”
Aidan gave a half smile. “I’d be happy to.”
CHAPTER TWO