For once, neither one of them berated him for his language. If anything, they looked even more upset. Tom wrapped a protective arm around his wife’s shoulders as she trembled with visible unhappiness.
When neither of them spoke, it triggered a rush of resentment. But what had he been expecting, an apology? Yeah, right. They’d probably throw a parade celebrating his breakup when they got home.
“I’m not perfect,” he burst out.
They both blinked in alarm. “AJ,” his mother started.
“No, I don’t want to hear it, Mom. I want you to hear something. Both of you.” His hands balled into fists as years of unvoiced anger breached the surface. “I can’t be the perfect son you want me to be, okay? I’ve been trying to please you guys for years, because of…” His throat squeezed. He couldn’t seem to say Joey’s name out loud, so he hurried on in a shaky voice. “I’ve tried to be what you wanted me to be, but I can’t do it anymore. I own a nightclub and I like it. I used to fight in a cage, and I liked it. You want me to be nice and polite and responsible, but sometimes I’m not, okay? And I’m tired of pretending to be.”
“AJ—” his mom said again.
“I’ve been trying to be him, but I’m not, damn it! I’m me, and if you guys can’t accept me for who I am, then…”
He trailed off, because really, how was he supposed to finish that sentence? Then screw you?
Silence crashed over the office, and then his mother murmured a question he hadn’t expected.
“Did she break up with you because of us?”
His mouth fell open. Seriously? He’d just spilled his guts and that was the pressing issue on her mind?
AJ just stared at her
“Oh gosh. I’m so ashamed.” Her entire body shook with distress.
Despite the anger and resentment clogging his throat, his protective instincts reared up. “Sit down,” he said gruffly, rounding the desk to take her other arm. “You’re supposed to be resting, remember?”
She allowed him to lead her to the visitor’s chair, but the distraught expression didn’t leave her face. “I didn’t think…I didn’t expect Brett to do that. Not after everything she…”
His eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
His father sank into the other chair, and for a moment, AJ felt like the parent in the room. Looming over the older couple as they fidgeted in their chairs, avoiding his hawk-like gaze.
“What did Brett do?” he demanded.
His parents exchanged a look.
“Tell me, damn it.”
“Language,” Tom scolded, not letting him get away with cursing a second time. “And your mother is referring to the talking-to we got from your girlfriend on Sunday.”
He blinked in confusion. Brett had barely uttered a word before they’d left the house. AJ had swept her away from his folks too quickly for her to give anyone a “talking-to.”
Except…
She’d gone back inside to get her sweater.
Shit.
“What did she say to you?” he asked in a low voice.
His mother sighed. “What we needed to hear.”
A brief silence hung over the room, until AJ’s father spoke in a hoarse voice. “We don’t blame you for what happened to Joseph. We never did.”
The shock nearly knocked AJ off his feet. He had to grab the edge of the desk to steady his flailing equilibrium, but staying upright was a challenge when his lungs had stopped working. He blinked through the dizziness, unable to fathom what he’d just heard.
“Brett…” His voice cracked. “She told you…that I thought…” He couldn’t finish. Didn’t bother trying.
“She told us that you blame yourself,” his mother said softly. “And the fact that you do…well, that just means we didn’t do a good enough job telling you otherwise.” Unshed tears clung to her eyelashes. “But your father’s right, sweetie. We don’t blame you. Joseph’s accident…that’s what it was. An accident.”
AJ’s teeth dug into his bottom lip, the guilt moving freely through his body and making his hands shake. “He wouldn’t have been in those woods if it wasn’t for me.”
His mom was on her feet in an instant, her arms around AJ’s neck as she held him tight. “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered fiercely. “You were a little boy, and you ran away from home, just like millions of other little boys do. Accidents happen. Tragedy happens. It happens every day to hundreds of people, and it’s awful and gut-wrenching, but people survive it. Our family survived it.”
She released him, tears staining her cheeks. “And what you said just now… You’re right about everything, sweetie. We don’t know who you are.” A pause. “We never even tried to find out.”
“We’ve been acting like assholes,” his father agreed.
His stunned gaze flew to his dad. He’d never heard his father curse before. Ever.
“We had an idea of who you should be, and we forced you to conform to it,” Karen said sadly. “Whenever you made a decision we wouldn’t have made ourselves, we offered nothing but judgment and criticism, and that wasn’t fair to you, Adam. You have every right to be angry with us.”