Oh, God, she couldn’t deal with this right now. But she couldn’t keep avoiding her issues any longer, either. Today she’d finally opened her eyes to the downward spiral of her father’s life, started to accept that her father might have become an alcoholic, adulterer and criminal.
Maybe it was time to face the other man in her life. She’d called Doug back last week, but she’d phoned in the afternoon knowing he would be in a seminar for one of the summer courses he was teaching. Maybe it made her a chicken but she hadn’t been ready to talk to him yet, opting instead to leave a brief message on his machine.
She hadn’t mentioned Brody in the message, either, mostly because the thought of telling Doug about Brody—on his answering machine no less—had made her palms grow damp. It would’ve been one thing if the situation with Brody hadn’t gone beyond that first night, but it had. It’d been over a week since she’d approached him in the bar, and somehow, during that time, her casual fling had…changed.
She couldn’t pinpoint when the change had occurred. All she knew was that since they’d gone skating after the Gallagher Club party, she and Brody had been having fun not only in the bedroom, but out of it. They’d gone back to the Lakeshore Lounge for dinner, gone skating at Millennium Park. Brody had even taken her to the Art Institute of Chicago, where he’d spent the entire day following her from painting to painting and listening to her rave about each one.
What wasn’t fun, however, was having him fly to another city every other day. He’d had three away games this past week and each time he’d left to catch his flight she’d had to bite her tongue. Had to remind herself that no matter how much she was enjoying being with Brody, this was still a fling. And flings always came to an end at some point.
Her phone continued to chime, the ring tone speeding up to signal that voice mail would kick in soon.
Hayden took a deep breath.
She had to pick up. Doug had already left her three messages since she’d called him back, his voice growing more and more concerned with each call. He probably thought she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere, and she was disgusted with herself for her inability to deal with this Doug dilemma.
No more stalling. She’d already endured one unwanted confrontation today. Might as well make it two for two.
She hit the talk button on her cell phone.
“Thank God,” Doug said when she answered. “I was beginning to think something terrible had happened to you.”
His obvious relief caused guilt to buzz around in her belly like a swarm of angry wasps. She felt like total slime for making him worry like this.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” she replied, her fingers trembling against the phone. “Didn’t you get my message?”
“I got it, but I’ve called you a few times since, Hayden.”
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. Things have been hectic.”
“I can imagine.” He paused. “Some of the papers here are running stories about your father, honey.”
“Yeah, it’s happening here, too. I’m starting to get worried,” she admitted.
Confiding in him came as naturally as brushing her teeth in the morning. She’d always been able to talk to Doug about everything. Whether it was problems at the university or something as minor as a bad haircut, he was always there to listen. It was one of the things she liked about him.
Liked.
The word hung in her mind, making her tap one hand against the steering wheel. She liked everything about this man. His patience, his tenderness, his generosity. And she was certain that once he finally decided the time was right for them to get physical, she’d like that, too. And that was the problem. She wasn’t sure she could spend the rest of her life with a man she simply liked. Sure, sometimes love took time to develop, feelings could grow, friends could realize they were soul mates…at least that’s what she’d always believed.
After meeting Brody, she was starting to reconsider.
She didn’t just like sleeping with Brody. The sex was wild, passionate, all-consuming. When Brody kissed her, when he wrapped those big muscular arms around her, the ground beneath her feet fell away, her body sizzled like asphalt in a heat wave, and her heart soared higher than a fighter jet.
When Doug kissed her…none of those things happened. His kisses were sweet and tender, and she really did like them—damn, there was that word again.
“Honey, are you there?”
She forced her mind back to the moment, to this conversation she’d been putting off for too long. “Sorry, I just spaced out for a second. What were you saying?”