“The fact that he didn’t seem to care made it all the more thrilling for me. We were madly in love—or at least I was. He helped me with all my classes. He’d help me study, and I was doing so well in school. Of course I couldn’t move in with him, because the school couldn’t know about our relationship. I think the clandestine nature of it was what made it so exciting.”
She paused, took another couple of sips, staring at the glass, not looking at him. Luke knew she was reliving that time, and maybe she needed to in order to get it all out. He didn’t want to say anything, because he realized this was important for her. He also realized she probably didn’t talk about this time in her life very often.
“By my senior year, I was convinced that after graduation we’d move in together. I could be seen with him as a graduate student because he wouldn’t be involved with me once I started vet school. I applied and got into vet school. I was so thrilled.
“That’s when everything started to change, when his hold on me turned from encouraging to dominating. He told me he wanted me to live with him, but as a vet student I’d be immersed in my studies and we’d never see each other anymore, that I wouldn’t be able to help him with his school projects anymore. It would be like we were strangers, so we should probably end it.
“I was crushed. For four years we’d been everything to each other—or at least he’d been everything to me. And he was ready to walk away from it all because I would have to focus on my studies?”
Luke frowned. “He forced you to choose between him and vet school.”
“I didn’t realize it at the time. I was so in love with him, I’d have done anything for him. But yes, that’s exactly what he did.”
“And you chose him.”
She looked down at the wine. “I chose him. I dropped out of vet school and I moved in with him. And then I became his research assistant, helping him with his papers and his research. I’d do his laundry and clean his house, and whatever else he wanted me to do for him, whenever he wanted me to do it. He monitored where I was every moment of the day. If I was going to the grocery store, I had to call him before I left, and call when I got back. It got to the point where I was a prisoner in his home. I had no friends. I had lost them all years before because he wanted all my focus on him. He even cut my family off. So when he was teaching, I had to either be working on his papers or staying at the house.”
Luke’s stomach tightened. He knew where this was going, had seen it time and time again in women who were controlled and abused. “And if you didn’t?”
She shook her head. “Then I was punished. If I really loved him, I would do it right.”
He reached out and smoothed his hand over her hair. “I’m sorry he treated you that way, Emma.”
“I don’t deserve your sorrow. I was an intelligent young girl with career goals, and I allowed him to manipulate me into giving it all up to become nothing more than his slave.” She lifted tear-filled eyes to his. “How could I have let that happen?”
His heart ached for her. “You’re not the first woman that has happened to. Blame him, not yourself. Men like that have a way of making you fall in love with them, of making these promises for the future, and then once they have you hooked and seduced, they pull the rug right out from under you.”
“I could have walked away at any time. Why didn’t I?”
“Because you were afraid of him, of what he might do if he followed you and found you. He threatened you, didn’t he?”
She nodded. “All the time. He threatened me; he threatened my family. He even said he monitored my sister’s movements, knew where Molly was, and if I left him he’d hurt her.”
Sonofabitch. This guy was evil. “How did you get away?”
“I was so lonely. He was at school all the time, or at evening functions. I was always alone at the house. He never let me go anywhere. I finally had had enough of living that way. I used to be fun and outgoing. I had once had so many friends, a plan for my future, and he’d stripped it all away from me. I decided I couldn’t do it anymore, so when he had a business trip, I decided to seize my opportunity to leave. He hated travel because it took him away from me, where he couldn’t monitor me. But after a few years, he was confident he had me so under control that he could go out of town and I’d meekly stay there. But this time, he had a three-day trip. I packed up everything, took money I had stockpiled, took the car, and hightailed it out of there. Then I went home to my parents and told them everything. They helped me get a restraining order against him.”
“Did he get fired?”
Her lips curved slightly. “Yes. After I recovered enough of my backbone, I went to the university and told them what had happened between us during the entire four years I was an undergraduate, and after, including the restraining order. I saved all the e-mails we had written to each other when I was an undergraduate, up to and including the notes he wrote ordering me to do this or that, and I used those against him.
“He lost his job. He was furious with me, but with the restraining order, he couldn’t come near me, or he’d be arrested. The last time I heard, he was living in Texas.”
He took her hand. “Why didn’t you tell me about him—about all this—sooner?”
She gave him a look. “Come on, Luke. Would you have wanted anyone you care about to know about such an epic failure in your life like this?”
“Emma. I care about you. I don’t expect you to be perfect, or for your past to have been perfect. But if we’re going to have a . . . relationship, we have to be up front with each other about everything, including the ugly parts.”
“Yeah, well, this is really ugly and doesn’t paint me in a positive light.”
“Hey, I told you about my past.”
She gave him a look. “Luke, it’s not the same thing at all. You had a marriage that didn’t work out, that wasn’t your fault.”
“It wasn’t all Rebecca’s fault. I didn’t do my part, either.”
“But you weren’t a manipulating douchebag like Vaughn. And you weren’t a coward like me.”
He set down his wineglass and pulled her onto his lap.
“Stop. You realize this Vaughn guy is to blame for what happened to you, right?”
“I do now. I didn’t at first. I put all the blame on myself. It took a while and some counseling to realize what he’d done to me. It’s still hard to let go of the shame, though.”
“Look at where you are now, what you’ve accomplished. Do you know how many women never get away from men like him? You got out. You should be proud of yourself.”
He saw the tears shimmer in her eyes and realized how hard she was working not to let them fall.
She took a deep breath. “Well, thanks for that. I worked hard to fight my way back. And that’s why my career is having a late start.”
“But you have a career. And you got your education. So I guess Vaughn can just suck it.”
She laughed. “I guess he can.”
She took his hand. “Thank you. For understanding.”
Chapter 15
AFTER HIS CONVERSATION with Emma, Luke decided she needed some time and distance to think about what they talked about. Hell, even he needed some time to think, because he knew if they got together again, he’d have to make a commitment to do more than just take her to bed.
Because what she was all twisted up about wasn’t just sex. She had a past to get over, and it had been an ugly, painful one that had hurt her and had turned her off relationships and men. Hell, that she could even be around guys after what she’d been through was a testament to her strength and courage.
Just the things they’d done together was a big step for her. She’d been open and fun and, God, she was so sexy. But she was also reluctant.
Yeah, so was he. But he still wanted more. And that meant moving forward with Emma—like into a relationship. And Luke wasn’t sure he was ready for that step, or if he’d ever be that ready. But it was becoming achingly clear he wasn’t going to be able to get her out of his system until he found out where this was going.
Emma seemed as gun-shy about a relationship as he was, so maybe this could turn out to be a good thing. They could enjoy spending time together without either of them needing or wanting a serious commitment.
She might just be perfect for him.
The only bad thing about that was he had the potential to hurt her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Someone had already hurt her enough. Which meant he’d have to tread lightly.
Off duty, he approached the clinic and decided to drop by.
Rachel and Leanne were both up front and greeted him.
“Where’s Boomer?” Rachel asked.
“Sacked out in the backseat of the cruiser.”
“Awww. Rough day?”
“He saw a little action.”
“I heard there’ve been more drug-related break-ins. The pharmacy on Fifth got hit this week?”
“Yeah.”
“But you haven’t caught them yet?” Leanne asked.
“Not yet. But we’re still investigating leads. We’ll find them.”
“I hope so.”
“Brutus is ready for boarding,” Rachel said, handing Leanne a chart.
“Okay, thanks. See you, Officer Luke.”
“Bye, Leanne.”
Leanne took off with the only other patient who had been in the waiting room, leaving him alone.
“Light schedule today, huh?” he asked Rachel.
“Yeah. Long weekend coming up, so I think people are getting a head start. We have a lot of pets coming in to be boarded, but not so much in the way of patients.”
One of the exam-room doors opened, and Luke heard Emma’s voice.
“She’ll be fine once she has a full day on this medication, Mrs. Schechter. Don’t worry about a thing.”
“Thank you, Dr. Burnett. I was so concerned.”
“It’s not a serious illness. The antibiotics will start helping right away. Flounder will be good as new in a day or so.”
Emma walked out with an older woman carrying a white cat.
“Rachel will take care of you. And if Flounder isn’t showing signs of improvement in a couple days, you call and let us know.”
“I’ll do that. Thank you again.”
Emma smiled, then looked up and saw him. “Oh, Luke. Hi.”
He hadn’t seen her in a few days, not since that night they’d talked at her house. He’d left her after that, since she’d seemed wrung out after her big confession. Staying with her—pressing things between them—had seemed inappropriate. So he’d kissed her good-bye so she could get some rest. He’d called her to check in the next day, and she told him she’d felt better after some sleep.
He’d missed her, and her smile.
“Hi, Emma. I was in the area and thought I’d stop by, see how you’re doing.”
She shoved her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. “I’m doing . . . great. How are you?”
“Good. Do you have a few minutes?”
“Oh . . . Uh. I don’t know. Do I?” She looked over at Rachel.
“You’re done for the day, Dr. Emma. No more appointments.”
Emma frowned. “Really?”
“Really. So you and Officer Luke can have all the time you need.” Rachel shot Luke a grin.
“I need to check on this morning’s surgery patient.”
“Leanne just checked on Elsworth. He’s still sleeping. BP is normal and she removed his IV. His owners are coming to pick him up within the hour. It’s in his chart if you want to take a look.”
“Thanks, Rachel.”
She turned her attention on Luke again.