His best friend didn’t bother to pretend all was fine. His eyes were moist, his expression miserable. “I promise. But you’re going to be okay, Alexander.”
At that, Zan smiled. Nobody ever called him by his full name, and Jax knew it. He supposed his friend knew their minutes were numbered. Zan had never known how precious time was until it was almost gone.
Giving his mate one last kiss on her lips, he turned away and hurried to Nick. Whipped almost to death and nearly drained, the commander was in even worse shape than Selene had been, and if there had been any doubt this healing session would be Zan’s last, there wasn’t any longer.
As he placed his palms on Nick’s chest and sent the warmth of his energy into him, Zan actually felt the tiny ruptures starting to happen in his brain. Each little pop battered him with dizziness. Then the pops became agony, like a sharp spear being driven into his skull and deep into his gray matter.
He couldn’t quit. Nick had seemingly given up on his own life, but Zan wouldn’t do the same. The commander had more living to do, a daughter to make amends with and to love. Zan was sad he wouldn’t be there to see it, to grow old loving his mate.
Muscle and bone knitted, healed. He saw to that, every single furrow from the whip’s lashes, every drop of blood, cleaned. No scars. Gone, like a wisp of smoke. He replaced the man’s blood, improved his circulation. All Nick had to do was awaken.
He was done. Sitting on his heels, he tilted his head back. Tried to suck in air. But it was no use. His skull was in a vise, so much pressure crushing his brain. One by one, the rest of the arteries and veins gave way, releasing a flood of pain, and he fell backward, crying out. Warm liquid gushed from his nose, filled his mouth.
He was caught, held by someone on the team. Jax? Shadows hovered over him as voices called out to him. Begged him to hang on. He wanted to tell them it was okay, he was fine. Anything to take away their panic, their sorrow.
For one brief moment, his vision cleared and he saw them all. His whole team, except for Nick. His brothers. He loved them all. He wanted to see Selene one more time, but he knew she was healing. She would be all right, and that was all that mattered. Maybe he’d see her again in heaven one day, if such a place existed.
The last of his breath left him on a puff of air. Then his brothers’ beloved faces faded into white.
And Zander Cole died.
The first thing Selene became aware of was the tomblike silence all around her. Then the soft sounds of . . . sobbing? Who was crying?
“Oh, fuck no! Please . . .”
That was Jax’s voice. The hair on the back of her neck prickled, and fear shot down her spine. Gingerly, she sat up and rubbed her temples, trying to get her bearings. She’d been going after the rogues. Darrow. Rescuing her father—and Zan!
Glancing to her right, she spotted Darrow on the floor, his throat ripped out. She was glad he was dead, the fight obviously won since the Pack, the prince, and his men were all standing around. But why was everyone so quiet?
“Zan?” she called. Alerted that she was conscious, some of the prince’s men met her eyes and then quickly looked away. Most alarming of all was when she focused on the faces of the Pack team; every one of them had tears in his eyes, some streaming down his cheeks. A cold lump formed in her chest.
They moved aside as a unit to reveal Jax sitting on the floor. And in his arms was her mate. His head was tilted back, and he wasn’t moving.
“What’s going on?” Her voice rose. “Zan?”
On her hands and knees, she scrambled over to kneel beside Jax and looked into her mate’s handsome face. His beautiful eyes were half-open, staring into space. His chest wasn’t moving. Blood had streamed from his nose and mouth, but was drying now. Seconds ticked by, and she couldn’t process what had happened.
“Zander?” Reaching out, she touched his face. Still warm, but cooler than he should be, perhaps. Trying again, she shook him. “Wake up, honey. We won!”
“Selene,” Jax said on a sob. “I’m sorry.”
“How come he’s not waking up? What’s going on?” No. It wasn’t true. She refused to believe.
Suddenly, Aric crouched next to her, took her hand. The normally cocky wolf was the picture of devastation. “Selene, he’s gone,” he said gently. “There was nothing we could do.”
“No!” Shaking her head frantically, she searched the others’ expressions, seeking affirmation that he was fine. “H-he’s going to be all right! He’s just in shock, or tired. Needs to rest.”
Suddenly, a large hand squeezed her shoulder. Turning, she found herself looking into her father’s stricken face. “Daddy! You’re all right! Tell them Zan’s going to be fine, too, just as soon as he rests. He’s—”
“Baby girl, listen to me. Zan did a brave thing tonight. He sacrificed himself for the people he loved most—you and me. He healed us both, but his brain just couldn’t take any more. Do you understand?”
The truth crept in, no matter how hard she fought to keep it out. Her throat began to burn, and her eyes blurred as she looked to the man in Jax’s arms. “Daddy?”
“Zan’s dead, baby,” he said hoarsely, hugging her close. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Stunned, she momentarily leaned in to her father. Then she pushed away from him and pointed a shaking finger at Jax, voice rising. “You’re a Timebender! So reverse time and fix this!”
“I can’t,” he croaked. “Zan would never forgive me.”
“I won’t forgive you if you don’t!”
“I can’t do it, Selene.” His eyes begged her to understand. “I won’t trade in your life to save his. I can’t use my gift that way.”
He wouldn’t help. Frantic, she looked to Tarron. “You can change him into a vampire, right? Bite him or something?”
“No,” he said with real regret. “I can’t turn a person who’s already departed. You don’t know how sorry I am.”
No, please. She held out her arms to Jax. “Give him to me.”
Relinquishing his burden, Jax placed her mate in her embrace. She held him tight, close to her heart, stroked his beloved face. His silky, ebony hair.
“I waited too long,” she whispered, tears streaking down her cheeks. “I wanted to tell you that I love you so. I thought I had time. I’m sorry I waited. I love you. Love you.”
She rocked him, a well of grief surging to choke and overwhelm her. Her heart broke, and a keening noise reached her ears, ragged. Raw. She couldn’t go on without him. Wouldn’t.
“God, this is so wrong,” someone said quietly. It sounded like Ryon. “Why?”
There was no reason. No justice in this. She couldn’t accept that he was dead.
The anger took her by surprise. The refusal to let him go. That’s when she became aware of a strange tugging in the region of her heart. A thread, golden and strong. It began in her chest and stretched to just beyond Zan’s body in her arms. Our bond.
That’s when she knew he hadn’t left.
“The bond,” she gasped, eyes widening as she looked at her father. “It’s still there.”
Relief and something like hope stirred on his face. “Then there’s still a chance.”
Her pulse tripped. “What do you mean?”
“Remember what I told you about your gift? That it would manifest when you need it most?”
She nodded. “Yes. But I don’t understand. I don’t know what to do!”
“Follow the thread; find his spirit. Lead him back to his body, and then we can help him heal.”
“Is that really possible?”
Ryon stepped forward. “Zan and his wolf are still here, and he doesn’t want to leave you. He’ll hang around as long as he can.”
“But—oh, God, what do I do? How?” What if she’d missed her chance?
“You’re a Spirit Catcher,” Nick explained. “That means you can follow your mating bond and bring his spirit back into his physical body. You can do this.”
Several gasps met Nick’s revelation about their immortality. But for now, she concentrated on doing as he said. Carefully, she focused on the thread as she’d done when Zan was in the coven’s infirmary. But this time she was bringing him all the way back instead of simply anchoring him to this world. She imagined winding the thread around the two of them, drawing him to her. When that worked, she gave him a mental push toward his broken body.
Selene? Baby? What’s happening to me?
Her heart leaped. Let yourself slide back into your body. Don’t fight it.
But it hurts. My brain is fried, and I don’t think you can fix it.
Somehow we will. Please, trust me?
A pause. For you, anything.
I love you.
She heard the smile in his voice. I knew, and I love you too.
He followed her lead without hesitation, hovering over his body and then slipping back down into his shell like smoke, his wolf following. Once he was inside, she heard a rattling intake of air and saw he was trying to breathe.
“Help me,” she cried. “What now?”
Suddenly, Tarron was crouching at her side. “I’ll give him a bit of my blood to speed the healing. Then you give him some of yours to bind him to you forever. Together we will gift him with immortality, though he likely would’ve had that anyway as your Bondmate. Now it will be a sure thing.”
“All right,” she said gratefully. “Let’s do it.”
The prince went first, slashing his wrist. Without wasting a second, he held the sliced skin over Zan’s blue lips while she pried his mouth open. The first drops fell into his mouth, but there was no movement. And then, without warning, he latched on to Tarron’s arm and sucked like a newborn. A murmur rose in the room, growing in excitement.
When he’d taken enough, Tarron gestured to her. “Your turn.”
Encouraged, she repeated the process using her own blood, thinking it was strange to be feeding him as one would a vampire. But she was for anything that helped him to heal.
“That’s enough,” the prince said. “Now we take him back to the stronghold and get him into the infirmary. With any luck, we’ll see signs of improvement within a few hours.”
“Do you think he’ll be well that soon?” She stroked her mate’s hair again, unable to stop touching him.
“No. I expect it will be days before we know whether his brain has recovered from the damage it sustained today. But don’t lose hope.” His smile was gentle.
“I won’t.” The tears flowed anew, but this time she could handle them.
Her mate would live. She couldn’t ask for anything more.
He had thought he was dead, for good.
Still, he hadn’t been able to go into the light that beckoned from beyond the chamber of suffering. To give his soul over to the gorgeous white presence that promised eternal happiness, peace among the angels. That hadn’t sounded so bad.
Except Selene wouldn’t be there.
He didn’t know what to do, and so he’d hovered, watching everyone he loved fall completely apart over his death. Not only his mate, but Jax, Nick, Hammer, Aric, Ryon, Micah, Nix, A.J., and the rest. Even Tarron, who’d known Zan only a short time, seemed full of sorrow.
I wanted to tell you that I love you so. I thought I had time. I’m sorry I waited. I love you. Love you.
Her words had torn at his heart, made it not just difficult, but impossible, for him to go. He had known how she felt, of course, but hearing the words spoken aloud was his dream come true. How could he leave now?
And then a miracle. Thanks to his mate having a very special gift of her own, he was pulled back into his body.
Opening his eyes was too hard, so he contented himself with listening to the sounds of his mate and his Pack brothers’ joy that he’d been brought back from beyond. That eventually, he’d be all right. He relished his mate’s warm hand holding his as he was lifted and placed on a gurney, the nearness of her sweet scent.