He watched large condo towers turn into smaller stilt houses as he made his way north. Turning onto Ocean Avenue, he drove a few short blocks before finding the house that he was searching for. He nodded to Martin, indicating that it was okay for him to go. Looking over the two-story beach cottage, he saw Olivia’s Audi parked in the driveway, but there was another car, too. It was the Lexus from the night before.
Alexander pulled on the side of the sandy road between Olivia’s house and the sand dunes, punching the steering wheel, anger overwhelming his entire being. How could she move on so quickly? He became sick at the thought of someone else kissing her, touching her, making her feel good. He wanted to do that. It was his job. But, no. She pushed him away and now here he was, ready to beg for her to come back.
Putting his car in park, he watched as surfers rode some large waves into the shore, the sun trying to peek out behind black storm clouds lighting the entire beach in an orange hue that made Alexander want to see red. He felt as if his entire world had been ripped apart. His heart ached thinking about another man lying in the same bed as Olivia…not caring that he hadn’t remained faithful.
He heard a door open and close. The only other sounds were the ocean waves and the distant rumble of thunder. Watching a tall, lean man walk out of Olivia’s house, he had to control his desire to walk up and punch him for no reason other than that he was fucking the love of his life. At least, that's what Alexander assumed.
He observed Olivia’s overnight guest appear to be somewhat disheveled as he made his way from her front deck to his Lexus. It was readily apparent that he was upset about something. Then Alexander noticed the front door open and Olivia ran out.
“Cam, wait!” she shouted. “I’m sorry. I just…I just don’t do this thing very well.”
The fucker’s name is Cam, Alexander said to himself as he crouched down in his rental car, listening to their conversation, thankful that he was close enough to overhear it above the crashing waves and wind.
“Don’t do what, Libby?” Alexander heard Cam cry out. Her name is Olivia, fucker! It took all of his willpower to not run up to her at that moment and sweep her into his arms. She looked miserable.
“Because there is something going on with you, and I don’t know what the fuck to think!” Cam exclaimed and Alexander could hear the exasperation in his voice. He had sounded that way with Olivia on countless occasions himself. “Didn’t you enjoy last night?”
Red! Red! Red! All Alexander could see was red. The thought of someone else being inside of her made him wild with anger. Alexander looked at her, noticing a touch of hesitation as she gently caressed Cam's cheek.
Sighing deeply, she responded. “Of course I did. I just needed to feel something again, Cam. But I don’t know how to do the relationship thing very well. So, please, let’s just start over, okay? I’m sorry if I sounded so cold before. I was wrong. Please.”
“Damn it, Libby! All I did was ask if I could see you tonight and you flipped out, asking why I would ever want to spend time with you! Why are you doing this? You’re pushing me away. Don’t do that. Please. Just…” Cam dropped his voice to an almost whisper. “Just let me in. I beg you.” He brought his thumb up to Olivia’s cheek, wiping a tear that had begun to fall.
“I don’t think I can. I already gave my heart away once and, the thing is, I never really got it back. Not all of it, anyway. I’m broken and I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to let you in. Not all the way.”
Cam pulled Olivia into his arms, gently kissing the top of her head, trying to soothe her sobs. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ll take whatever it is you can give me. If you can’t give me all your heart, you don’t have to. Just give me something. I just want to be able to spend more time with you. Okay?”
Olivia pulled out of his embrace and looked into his gentle silver eyes moist with emotion. She slowly nodded. “I guess I don’t understand why you want to spend time with me so badly, knowing that I can’t give you what you probably want.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I don’t care about that, Libby. Maybe today you can’t give me what I want. And maybe not next week or even next month. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll wake up one day and finally see what’s right in front of you.” He brushed her lips with his, kissing her gently. “And knowing that you may open your heart to me eventually is good enough for me. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who won't hurt you.” Clutching her hands in his, he took a deep breath. “I don’t know what it is about you, Libby, but I can’t stay away from you. Please. Don’t push me away.”
She searched his eyes for the answer she needed.
“Don’t say anything right now. I’m going to go to work. Let’s forget about tonight. Take some time to yourself, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning like old times. Surfing. Then you can tell me what you think you want. Okay?”
Alexander watched with bated breath as Olivia pulled her bottom lip into her teeth, contemplating Cam's words. Tell him to fuck off!
“Okay. I can do that.” Olivia looked down at her feet, something that made Alexander’s heart race. She always did that. Then she looked out at the horizon before settling her eyes on the Mercedes parked where the SUV was the night before.
“Are you okay, Libby?” Cam asked after seeing her intake a quick breath as if something caught her off-guard. He turned his head to follow Olivia’s gaze and noticed a nice red Mercedes convertible sitting on the road, the driver clearly interested in looking at the storm bringing crashing waves to the shore.
“Yes. I’m fine,” she responded. Cam looked at her with a questioning look as she straightened her back, keeping herself turned in the direction of the Mercedes.
“Okay, beautiful.” He grabbed Olivia’s hand and planted delicate kisses on her knuckles. “I’ll be thinking about you all day.”
She blushed, returning his gaze.
“Until tomorrow, angel,” he said, his voice husky as he pulled Olivia into a tight embrace, kissing her deeply on the mouth.
She half-heartedly returned the kiss and Alexander could feel her lack of enthusiasm. Good, he thought to himself.
Cam pulled out of the kiss, noticing Olivia’s hesitation. Sighing, he walked down the front steps of her deck and retreated into his car.