I should never have told him about our night together. It hadn’t done anything but hurt him, something that I had been aiming for as the words slipped from my mouth. But now I regretted it. Emmie was right. I did hold all the power and I had used it against Drake, when I should have loved him.
Harper knocked on our bedroom door, and I raised my head as she stuck hers around to look in at me. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” That seemed to be my answer for everything today. “I messed up really bad, Harper.”
She stepped into our room and closed the door behind her. “It will be okay, sweetie. Drake loves you just as much as you love him.”
“I know.” If nothing else, I knew that Drake loved me. He needed me, and I needed him. Sighing, I pushed the hair that had fallen from the ponytail out of my face. “Is he still here?”
“He’s out cold right now. Your brother-in-law knocked his socks off.” A grim smile twisted her mouth. “Layla has him in Linc’s room trying to cool him down.”
Perfect. Now, I had caused two men that had been friends all their lives to fight. “I better go deal with them then.” I shifted on the edge of the bed and grimaced in pain. My cramps were getting worse. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to get through them without whimpering. My period was late, nothing unusual about that, but now that I was getting ready to start, it was going to be a real bitch to get through.
When the last one seemed to pass I got to my feet. “I just need a minute…” I murmured. As I took a step toward the bathroom the world seemed to tilt. I felt something thick and sticky run down my thighs and had enough sense to look down. My yoga pants were covered in blood…
The pain was awful. I had nothing else to compare it to. I blinked my eyes open, unsure what I was going to find. The hospital room wasn’t on my list of things to expect to find. There were tubes coming from all directions: oxygen in my nose, an IV in my left arm, and a heart monitor on my chest. I shifted my legs and my entire body protested in pain. A whimper escaped me.
Strong, cold fingers brushed across my forehead. “Angel?”
“Drake?” I whispered his name. My lips were dry and cracked, my throat felt like I had swallowed glass. “What…happened?”
He was pale with a few days growth of hair on his jaw that hadn’t been there when I last saw him. “I’m sorry, Angel. This is all my fault.” His voice cracked and I saw the tears in his eyes.
I gripped his hand, scared. “Nothing is your fault. Stop thinking things like that.” I tugged on his hand, pulling him closer. I had no idea what had happened, but I knew that Drake wasn’t to blame for anything. “I love you, Drake.”
The sob that left him made my heart ache. “I love you, Angel…” He kissed my forehead. “I love you more than anything in the world.”
“What’s wrong with me?” I asked. “Why do I hurt so bad?”
He closed his eyes. “You had a miscarriage. Our baby is gone.”
If I thought I was in pain before, it was nothing compared to hearing those words. “I…” Tears blinded me. “I was pregnant?”
Drake nodded. “I’m sorry, Angel. I should have protected you.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry!” I cried. “You aren’t the only one that is in this relationship, stupid. I knew we weren’t being careful…” Maybe I had hoped for something to happen, like getting pregnant. I hadn’t been worried about not being careful because deep down I had wanted Drake’s baby. It was selfish, but I had secretly wanted that tie to him.
And I hadn’t even known it had actually happened. Our child had been growing deep inside of me, and I hadn’t known. A sob felt like it was being ripped from my chest. “Drake, our baby!”
He gathered me into his arms as much as he could without hurting me. “I know. I know, Angel,” he whispered brokenly as he gently rocked me.
The door to my room opened so suddenly I was startled. A man with graying hair and a white coat came in with a nurse in pink scrubs right behind him. “Miss Daniels,” he greeted, and I raised my head from Drake’s chest. “It’s good to see you awake.”
I frowned at him. “How long have I been out?” Maybe that should have been my first question to Drake, but I was still a little disorientated and was finding it even harder to focus with the news that Drake had given me.
“Three days, off and on.” The doctor put his iPad on the little table beside of my bed, and Drake reluctantly stepped back to give the doctor access to me. “You have had everyone in the waiting room on pins and needles waiting for you to wake up. Mr. Stevenson here has refused to leave your side, and your sister has been driving my staff up the wall wanting an hourly progress report...” a small smile tilted his lips “...but we have managed.”
I couldn’t find the will to return his smile. I hurt too badly, physically and emotionally. “Drake said I had a miscarriage.”
The doctor nodded. “Yes… These things sometimes happen in first pregnancies, but yours was a little different. You had an ectopic pregnancy, where the baby settled in your fallopian tube, and as it grew that tube ruptured. You nearly bled to death. I had to remove the tube.”
My hand went to my lower stomach, and I felt the bandage that covered the incision. “Will I…” I broke off and raised my eyes to meet Drake’s “...will I be able to have another baby?”
“Because of the removal of the fallopian your chances of conceiving have been cut in half, but I see no reason for you not to be able to have another baby.”
Relief washed over me and the tears started falling once more. “Really?”
The doctor nodded. “You are a healthy young woman. There is no reason that you shouldn’t.”
It took the doctor ten minutes to examine me. I was one big ache by the time he and his nurse left with a promise of bringing me pain medication soon. I lay back against the pillows while Drake continued to look out the window where he had been the whole time the doctor was checking me over. “Drake?”
His shoulders lifted and fell as he let out a long breath, but he didn’t turn around. “I do nothing but hurt you.”
I closed my eyes, scared that he was about to tell me goodbye. “No.”
“Yes.” His movements were jerky as he finally turned around to face me. “I took advantage of you back in December then cheated on you the next day.” I flinched at the remembered pain that had caused. “Then I turn around and do the same thing. I’m all kinds of wrong for you, Lana.”