His eyes sought mine. “Becca? Is this okay? Are you ready?”
All the world fell away, and all that remained was Jason’s eyes on mine, his breathing slow and his lips close to mine…and the hot, hard presence between my legs. I hesitated, suddenly unsure all over again. He felt my hesitation and began to pull away, so sweet, so considerate, and that decided me. I reached between us, my heart hammering in my chest so hard I was sure he could see the pounding against my ribs. I grasped him in my fist, so soft and warm yet iron hard. He gasped at my touch, his eyes going hooded. I nestled him between the damp lips of my privates and drew in a long breath.
“I’m r-rrr-ready.” It was the first time I’d stuttered in weeks. He caught it, of course, and hesitated. I slid my palms down his back and pulled him closer to me. “I promise—I’m ready.” I made sure my voice was strong, sure, and confident.
All things I didn’t entirely feel. Oh, god. Only the very tip of him was inside me, and it was so much more than his fingers had been. I refused to think about the stories I’d heard of other girls’ first time. This was all that mattered. I wanted this. I was only partially convincing myself.
I kept my eyes on his, let them close and leaned up to kiss him. He slid forward a tiny bit, and I gasped into his mouth as he filled me slowly. It hurt. I couldn’t stop my eyes from flying open and my body from tensing. It felt like an invasion. I was so, so stretched. Jason had frozen stone-still.
“Are you okay?” He sounded worried.
I nodded. “Yeah, just…wait a moment.” He was tense; I felt his muscles knotting and going rock hard under my hands. Slowly, my body became used to his presence, and then I nodded. “I’m okay. A little more.”
“Does it hurt?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, knowing he’d want the truth. “But it’s okay. It’s not too bad. It’s getting better. Go a little deeper.”
He adjusted his weight and moved his hips toward mine, sliding himself deeper. That’s when I felt the pressure of blockage, and I knew what was coming next. I don’t know if he felt it, but I knew there was nothing for it but to let him push past it. I held onto him, one arm around his neck, the other around his waist, and I pulled him by his bu**ocks against me. There was a short, sharp pinch, and I couldn’t keep the gasp of pain from escaping. The sense of fullness, of being stretched out, increased as he moved deeper, and now that feeling was moving from discomfort to something like pleasure. The pain was lessening, and his hips were flush against mine. I pressed my lips to his shoulder and focused on my physical feelings. Now that the worst part was over, the fullness wasn’t so alien a sensation. It felt…right, and more so with every passing moment. He was still against me, trembling. I realized this wasn’t going to last much longer, and I wanted it to. I said nothing, but placed my palm on his cheek and rocked my hips against his, meaning just to encourage him, but when I did so, that tiny motion of rolling my body against him…a rocket of heat shot through me, a lightning bolt striking me low in my belly.
“Oh,” I gasped, my mouth going wide. I did it again, rocking my hips against his, but harder this time. “Oh…oh, god.”
Jason’s body was rock-hard, every muscle flexed. He was holding back, trying to last. “This is…amazing,” he said, his voice a ragged murmur.
“Move with me,” I whispered.
He breathed a sigh of relief and drew back, only to plunge forward again, and I whimpered at the way that felt. It sent a different kind of thrill through me than when I’d rolled my core against him, but both felt amazing. He drew back, and this time I moved to meet him, thrusting against him, and we both groaned, almost in unison.
“I’m not gonna—I can’t stop…” Jason’s voice was a low whisper against my ear.
I knew what he was saying. “It’s fine,” I whispered back to him, whispering low as though speaking out loud would break the moment. “Don’t…don’t stop yourself.”
He was moving in a rhythm now, each motion growing more desperate. “I couldn’t if I tried,” he murmured.
I was on fire all over, and even though I hadn’t expected to orgasm again, I was close. I moved with him, seeking my own release, knowing he was feeling pleasure and letting myself seek my own. I crushed my body against him, wanting to get closer, needing more, more, more. I remembered something I’d seen on True Blood, and lifted my legs to wrap them around his waist.
“Shit…that feels good,” Jason said.
“So good,” was all I could manage.
I used my legs to pull him against me, and the pressure built higher, the heat inside me billowing to nearly unbearable proportions. He was moving fast, and I’d have thought it would hurt to have him slam against me like he was, but it didn’t. I liked it. Each thrust sent me higher, and I knew he was about to lose it, and I wanted him to.
My fingers clawed into his shoulders, and I gripped him close as if to make sure he didn’t stop.
Then the earth fell apart beneath me. My body shuddered, tensed, and exploded. What I’d felt before was barely a tremor in the ground compared to the juddering earthquake shaking through me now. I whimpered, and then he crashed against me, crying out, and I felt the explosion cut loose inside me and heard an actual scream leave my mouth as I came moments after he did.
We both moved together in sync, breathing hard and gasping and moaning.
“Oh, f-fuck,” I said. “I didn’t know it would feel l-like th-that.”
He laughed at my uncharacteristic use of the F-bomb. “Me, neither,” he said, stilling above me.
And then it was over. The whole thing had lasted less than five minutes, but it was a life-changing, earthshaking five minutes.
Jason slid off me and went into the bathroom. I giggled at the sight of his naked backside as he walked away. Then he came back to me and slid into the bed beside me. “Did you bleed?”
I pushed the sheets away and sat up. The sight of the bright red spot on the bed brought reality crashing down around me. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. Something about that blood opened the floodgates. I felt my eyes burn, and I didn’t want to cry, but I was just so overwhelmed that I couldn’t stop it.
Jason had me against his chest before the first tear had fallen. “Becca? Why are you crying?” He sounded afraid, and I knew he had to be assuming the worst, but I was in the process of completely losing it and couldn’t speak as shuddering overtook me, tears sluicing down my face. “Oh, god, Becca. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”