He hissed out a breath. His movements became more frantic, more forceful.
Something was building inside me. A pressure. A need. A fog. All three blended together, consuming me. My mind focused on Erik, on his hands, on his body. I wanted our clothes off, didn’t want a barrier between us.
“More,” I said.
He lowered his arm and dabbled at the waist of my sweatpants. I tensed in anticipation of what he’d do next. Dip lower. Touch me where I ached. Please. Even as I thought it the plea burst from my lips. “Please.”
Air caught in my throat as Erik did indeed sink his hand lower. Lower still. And then his fingers were where I’d wanted them, touching, moving in a way that lanced sensation after sensation through me. My legs fell farther apart. I clutched his shoulders, undulating against him. Moaning, almost sobbing.
You should be embarrassed. You sound ridiculous. I pressed my lips together, trying to cut off the noises I was making. I just…I felt so good. So close to something good and right and magnificent.
“Let me hear you,” he said. “I want to hear that you like it.”
Another moan pushed its way from me, so intense I couldn’t hold it back. His words and his actions combined to destroy all my inhibitions, leaving only reaction. “Erik,” I panted.
“You’re almost there. So close.”
His voice sounded strained. I forced my eyes open—when had I closed them?—and saw that his face was tense. Sweat beaded his forehead. Lines bracketed his eyes. But there was such heat, such need, such bliss in his eyes as he stared down at me, watching me. Then he moved his fingers expertly, a simple twist, but it was enough. Stars exploded in my mind. I shouted, spasmed, shouted some more. Always his name, though. Always his name.
He held me through it all, stroking me, telling me how beautiful I was. Long moments passed before I was calm enough to melt against him. My heart had yet to slow down.
“I have to get up now,” he said. His voice was strained.
“What? No.” I shook my head, locking my arms around him to hold him in place. I never wanted to let him go.
“Yes. Must.”
“Why?” I asked, trying not to show my disappointment. We hadn’t had sex. I wanted to go all the way. I wanted more. Wanted all of him.
“The longer I hold you, the harder,” he stopped himself and laughed wryly. “The more difficult it’s going to be to move away without actually loving you.”
I kissed his neck, licking the salty taste of him. “Then love me, I want you to.”
A tremor moved through him and vibrated into me. “Earlier I promised you that I’d make you feel good, and I have. I don’t want your first time to be while you’re on the run.”
“But—what about you? I want to make you feel good, too.” If he’d teach me how…I’d be an expert student and willing to do extra credit.
He shook his head. “We’ll wait until we’re no longer in danger and make sure your first time is special.”
Pouting, I bit my bottom lip. “That makes me want the danger over with now.”
“Me, too,” he said. He swooped in for another kiss before rising from the couch. “Me, too.”
I knew that boys often used girls sexually, then pretended not to know them. Or worse, made fun of them and called them names afterward. I’d seen it happen to many girls at school. But I didn’t think Erik would be that way. He was just so different from every other boy I’d ever known. And the fact that he wanted my first time to be special, well, I fell a little more in love with him in that moment.
Who was I kidding? I’d fallen completely in love with him yesterday, when he’d done everything in his power to protect me.
My determination to survive this ordeal doubled. Tripled. I’d do whatever it took to win and be with Erik. Jump through fire—no problem. Hailstorms, acid rain, gunfire, flood—bring it on.
I should have known that thought would get me in trouble. Big trouble.
12
While we waited for night to fall—and to keep our minds off sex—Erik taught me how to defend myself. He taught me the best way to make and use a fist. The best places to kick an agent to topple him. Not in the groin, as I’d supposed, but in the trachea or vital organs: lungs, stomach, heart, kidneys.
“It’ll bring them down every time,” he’d instructed, “and it will keep them down, the most important factor. Because once you’ve engaged in battle and rendered pain, they’ll forget about questioning you, forget about taking you in alive, and go for the kill. You want them on the ground as quickly as possible, unable to get up.”
Scary stuff. But I loved it.
Best of all, he taught me how to fight while protecting my injured arm. I had to keep that side of my body angled toward my opponent and lash out with the other side, forcing them to try and stop that side of me.
Again, it was scary to think about doing any actual fighting, but I was happy to learn, to prepare, just in case.
Finally, though, darkness arrived and our reprieve was over.
Erik checked the monitors to make sure there were no agents in the area. There weren’t. He even called Silver and made sure all was well. Thankfully it was. Silver and Shanel were back at Silver’s house, surrounded by his father’s guards. They’d led A.I.R. around the city most of the day, keeping several agents away from us.
Still, I was nervous as we stepped outside. Cool air kissed me, no longer warm and heavy. Golden moonlight drenched the night, illuminating the surrounding buildings, the humans and Outers striding down the sidewalks, the cars speeding along the streets.
Erik maintained a steady hold on my hand and we did our best to appear like an everyday, average couple just out for a nighttime stroll. To be honest, I felt exposed, as if everyone was staring at me, marking me for death.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have colored my hair so blue,” I said nervously.
“You look cute.”
I grinned and squeezed his hand.
“You’re hiding in plain sight, so no worries. You’ll see.”
At least I wasn’t the only one hiding in plain sight. His hair was bleached white with streaks of vivid red. He’d even painted a cobra tattoo on his neck. The snake’s body stretched up to his left cheek and wrapped around his ear. Magnetic piercings dotted his eyebrow and lip. “Maybe we’re a little too plainly in ‘sight.’”
“No such thing.” He leaned down and kissed my ear.
A shiver stole through me.