“Just answer the question, Rory.”
“What if I said not right now and maybe not ever?” As soon as I said the words, I felt my heart knocking against my chest in a panic. He’s going to walk away. He’s going to leave me, and I need him.
Benji stared at me, unable to hide his disappointment.
I swallowed. “Would you stop being my friend?”
“Never,” he said without hesitation. “Is that your answer?”
“Maybe. Can I think about it?”
“Absolutely. I’m not ready to give up on you yet anyway.”
I folded my arms across the table, too. “Let’s go to that party at the Theta Tau house later.”
“Another party? You’re starting to freak me out a little.”
He had a point. I didn’t know what was up with my sudden urge to socialize either, but what I did know was that I was getting very sick of the endless cycle of class, dorm, and lab, and The Gym wasn’t cutting it.
“Kevin got his ass kicked there last year. He hasn’t shown his face since.”
“You really want to go?” he asked.
I nodded.
“I’ll follow you anywhere.”
“Spoken like a true stalker,” I said with a smile.
I typed in the last line of data, tossed the paper across my desk, and let it float into the bin. Once it landed safely on top of the huge stack, I stood up from my stool and stretched.
“Break time?” Cy asked, taking off his glasses.
“Yes. Benji and I are going to the Theta Tau break party. Want to come?”
Cy’s face blanched. “But we have so much work to do. You can’t. We don’t have time for parties.”
“We always have time for parties.”
“But you don’t go to parties.”
“I do tonight. I’ve been here for seven hours. I’m going to take a couple of hours and relax. I’ll be back.”
“Rory,” Cy called after me.
“You’re still invited!” I called back.
Benji’s orange Mustang was running in the street in the exact spot where we’d agreed to meet—a block west of the Fitz. The hot fumes from the exhaust pipe met the cold air and instantly turned into a white cloud.
Benji popped out of the driver’s side and jogged around to my side, giving me a quick hug before opening the door.
He was his normally bubbly self on the way to the Theta Tau house, chatting about his dad and bratty sister and what a great cook his mom was.
“You would love them.”
“I’m sure they would love me,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm.
“They would learn to,” he said, pulling over to the curb in front of Theta Tau.
Less than half of the cars that would normally be parked outside a house party lined the streets. Most of the students had already left for break, but this party wasn’t for them. It was for the stragglers, the left-behind, and the black sheep. Those were always the best parties anyway because everyone there had one very important thing in common—the need for an alternative family.
I could already hear the base booming before we reached the lawn. We walked in the front door like we owned the place, and no one seemed to mind—not even Bobby Peck, the Theta Tau president and Benji’s nemesis. A small group of already drunk students were in the commons area, but a congregation of people were gathered around the four kegs in the kitchen.
“Jackpot,” Benji said. He grabbed two red Solo cups and held them to the man in charge of the faucet end of the keg.
“Welcome!” the faucet guy said.
I couldn’t stop staring at the strange painting on his na**d torso and the underwear on his head. Clearly, he’d been partying much longer than anyone else in the room. He filled up our cups, and then Benji took my free hand and led me to the front room. We sat in a love seat and watched as a couple acted out a fight they’d witnessed another couple having the weekend before. It was obviously very dramatic and amusing because everyone had tears streaming down their cheeks from laughing so hard.
I sipped the beer, wishing I’d just asked for water instead.
“A much more successful beer hunt than the last party we tried,” Benji said, tipping his head back. He’d already finished his first cup and hopped up to get another. “Are you ready for another one?”
I shook my head.
“Well, I’m hoping to get drunk so you’ll try to take advantage of me later.”
“Not going to happen.”
“A man can dream, can’t he?” he said, smiling and walking backward a few steps before turning for the kitchen.
I laughed once. Benji and I had known each other for a little over two years, and I had known almost the whole time that he had a thing for me, but this—whatever it was—still felt new and maybe a little exciting.
And then, there was Cy. It was definitely possible to have feelings for two people, but I couldn’t have more than a friendship with both of them. Do I want to be with both of them?
I watched Benji standing at the keg. He was observing the funny couple, smiling at them, and stealing glances at me once in a while. I wanted to touch him, to be near him, to feel his lips on mine like they were in The Gym.
What I felt for him was different from what I felt for Cy. I wasn’t even sure if having feelings for Cy was even accurate. What I felt was drawn to him. I needed him, but I wasn’t sure why. There was just something in my gut telling me that he’d entered my life for a reason.
“How could you?” the girl said, pretending to cry. “I thought you were different!”
“I thought you’d put out more!” her boyfriend said in a fake gruff voice.
Everyone laughed.
Benji returned, both hands holding full cups.
I raised an eyebrow. “I guess I’m driving.”
“Nah. I’ll be done after these.”
“Good, because I have to go back to work after this.”
“What?” Benji said, disappointed.
I nodded.
“Can I go with you?”
“No.”
“Oh, c’mon. I’ll be your gofer. I’ll go for coffee. Go for water. Sharpen your pencil. I’ll be at your disposal.”
I shook my head, smiling. “Dr. Z won’t allow anyone else in the lab.”
Benji downed half of his cup. “Well, that sucks.”
“Easy, tiger.”
“I’m just trying to drink up the nerve to ask to kiss you.”