Aldani shook his head. “You’ll make it. You’ll just be something… different.”
“What do you mean something different? Different how?” A boulder sat on Renna’s chest and she struggled to prop herself up against the pillows so she could breathe.
Aldani wouldn’t meet her gaze as he continued. Instead he chose to stare at the white tiled floor. “Myka is a hybrid. Part-human, part-machine, and while both of his systems have integrated and work together, they’re still separate, like with most cybernetic additions people have installed.
“But what’s happening to you is different. The machine is starting to take over, to become you. When this process is finished, your implant will be another organ you need to keep you alive. It will simply be an extension of yourself, and the connection you feel with the Athena, with other mechanics, will deepen.
“Navang thought Myka was the apex of his work, but you have far surpassed him. You’ll be something new. The implant will become inseparable, indistinguishable from your own systems. Constantly evolving and changing. Growing on its own, even.” Aldani rubbed his clean-shaven jaw. His dark skin had gone ashy as he finally met her gaze. “You’ll be a new species. The genesis of something new in this galaxy.”
Renna’s mouth went dry. She opened and closed it, but there were no words. How did you respond to something like that?
Aldani got to his feet. “But we’re going to stop that from happening. We’re going to make sure you stay in control of this and not the other way around, okay?”
Easier said than done. If she’d commanded the Athena while unconscious, the implant was already taking control of her brain, her body. Was she even herself anymore?
“Stop looking like that,” Aldani chided. “Finn will have my hide if he comes back to find you pale and terrified.”
Dear gods. Finn. Her heart twisted in her chest, and Renna sat up. “Don’t tell him,” she pleaded. “Whatever happens, I don’t want him to know. I’ll disappear first, find some way to put an end to being a monster, but he can’t know.”
“Renna… I…”
“Please, doc. I want him to remember me as I am, not some… robot. I am going to do my damnedest to beat this, but if the worst thing he thinks is that I died because of the implant, so be it. I don’t want him to see me changed. What if I don’t recognize him? What if I hurt him?”
“Let’s not worry about that now, okay? We’ve got time, and if you think this man can help you, we still have hope.” Aldani squeezed her shoulder. “I wish I could go with you, but I know you’re right. I’ve met Dr. Samil; I am familiar with her work. She’s cunning and if she gets her hands on Myka again, she’ll be unstoppable. You’re our only hope now.”
Renna nodded. “I know. Myka’s still okay, right?”
“He’s perfect and dying to see you. Hopefully you’ll be up for it later.”
He let himself out of her room, leaving Renna to stare at the ceiling. Cold dread made her limbs heavy. Was he right? Could all of the weird things she’d experienced lately mean she was changing into something else? What had Samil done to her back in that warehouse?
There was only one way to find out. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, forcing away the fear and focusing on the Athena, the feelings she had for Finn, the crew, the ship itself. She pictured the smooth walls and metal floors, the spacious bridge. The dull ache started again as she slid deeper into her imagination.
And then she felt the tremble of the ship around her, the slight shudder that told her she was there. Part of the ship. Watching. Waiting.
This time, if she focused hard enough, she could feel it. The brush of air against the hull, the feel of the engineers working on her core. Even the whispers of the two crew members as they sneaked a kiss in a secluded corner.
Renna stretched out the tendrils of her connection and focused on the nav computer in the CIC. Viktis leaned against the railing, talking to Lieutenant Blake about a poker game he’d won on Forever Station. Lieutenant Keva sat at her station, listening, a knowing smile on her face.
Finn had taken up his usual military stance off to the side. He pretended not to listen, but he couldn’t resist interrupting Viktis to fill in parts of the story.
Viktis described the station, and Renna recognized some spots from the old days. The last time she’d seen it, she was with him. They’d finished their last job together there. Little did she know then, the next job Viktis took would be killing her.
A strange sadness pinged through her. What if things had been different? What if she’d let herself fall in love with Viktis instead of dropping him for the next handsome merc who’d come along because she’d been scared of her feelings? Would he have turned down the job? Would they have had something special?
A small part of her would always wonder with regret what might have happened between them. But while she loved Viktis as a brother now, she was pretty sure she was in love with Finn. And that scared the hell out of her. Renna sighed and felt the ship shudder around her.
Wonder surged through her. She’d made it do that. But how? Controlling ships was not part of what was supposed to happen here, but if she could use her implant for that, what else could she do if she learned to control it?
Slowly she pulled back out of the Athena, risking one more look at the three men on the bridge. Finn laughed at something Viktis said, his worry lightening for a moment, while Blake chuckled and clapped his friend on the shoulder.
And then she was gone, back in her bed on the Eris. Alone.
Renna blinked at the ceiling as she settled back into her own body. It felt strangely tight, claustrophobic even. Maybe if worse came to worse, she could lose herself in the Athena. At least she’d be able to watch over Finn and his crew.
Stop that, she scolded. You’re being creepy.
Right. She was going to beat this and have her happily ever after. MYTH owed her a retirement on a garden planet and a fat stack of credits.
Steeling herself, Renna swung her legs over the side of the bed. Time to get moving. She had a mercenary to convince to help her. And knowing the type, any sign of weakness would have him circling like a shark.
EIGHTEEN
“Well, look who’s up.” Viktis grinned at Renna as she sank into a seat at the table in the comm room. He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Nothing like scaring the old man half to death,” he said, jerking his head toward Finn. “I thought he was going to…”