I hadn’t really wanted to take up residence in the ducal palace, but Kathandrion wouldn’t hear of my lodging anywhere else, and so I had to put up with certain inconveniences which were made all the worse by Elisera’s quaint introductions that stressed something I’d rather she’d glossed over. There’s a great deal of nonsense abroad that concerns words like ‘magic’, ‘sorcery’, ‘witchcraft’, and the like, and most people simply lump all those designations together and assume that those of us who are talented in the field can perform any feat that’s grown out of the fevered imaginations of various poets bent on outdoing the competition. All the young – and not so young – ladies-in-waiting at Kathandrion’s court were fascinated by the idea of love potions, as I recall. No matter how patiently I explained the impossibility of such a concoction, I was still approached by teary-eyed hopefuls who were absolutely positive that there was a simple chemical answer to their most pressing problem. Most of them seemed very unhappy with my answer, but I’d no sooner sent one suppliant away with a pout on her face when another approached me, usually in private, with the teary assertion that she’d absolutely die if Baron so-and-so didn’t immediately fall madly in love with her.
There was another problem as well, although I rather doubt that Ce’Nedra would see it as a problem. Duke Kathandrion casually advised me that he, Mangaran, and Corrolin had agreed that I should receive an annual stipend ‘for services rendered’, and they each dutifully set aside an absurd amount of gold for my use. No matter how much I protested that I didn’t need money, I couldn’t seem to get my point across. I thought that I might raise the issue when we all gathered for our annual meeting that summer at the Great Arendish Fair, but when I got there and talked with Asrana, the Baroness of Vo Mandor, she pointed a few things out to me. ‘Just take the money, Polly,’ she advised. ‘You’ll hurt their feelings if you don’t, and what’s more important, you’ll lower your status if you start giving your services away free. If they don’t pay for those services, they won’t value them. In time, they’ll start treating you as if you were a servant, and I don’t think you’d like that. Smile and take the money.’
‘What am I going to do with it?’ I demanded. ‘They’re giving me far too much, and all it’s going to do is pile up until it starts to become a nuisance.’
‘Buy something with it – an estate somewhere, or a house in town.’
Now there was an idea that hadn’t even occurred to me. At least if I had my own house, I could get away from the weepy-eyed girls seeking love potions to entrap vacanteyed young men who hadn’t yet realized that boys and girls are different from each other. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and so I broached the subject to Kathandrion as we rode on back to Vo Wacune after the meeting.
‘Art thou discontented with the lodgings I have provided thee, my Lady?’ he asked, sounding a bit hurt.
‘The quarters, I do assure thee, my Lord, are exquisite. It is their location which doth stand at the core of my dissatisfaction. So long as I am within the confines of thy palace, I am at the mercy of those who yearn to achieve certain goals without exerting themselves.’ I told him about that steady procession of young ladies who hungered and thirsted for unearned love and about others, no less parched and starved, who longed for mystic assistance in business dealings, intercession with the dice-cup, interference in the outcome of jousting matches, and other absurdities.
‘I shall forbid them entry into the wing of my palace wherein thou art housed,’ he suggested.
‘Kathandrion,’ I said to him patiently, ‘you can forbid to your heart’s content, and all they’ll do is ignore you. We’re dealing with obsessions here. These people all believe that they deserve the things they’re yearning for and that I’ve been commanded by the Gods to come to Vo Wacune for no other reason than to arrange matters so that they get them. Nothing short of physical violence will keep them away from my door as long as I’m in the palace. That’s why I’m going to need a house of my own – with a fence and a locked gate. It’s the only way I’ll get any sleep. I’m sure there are houses for sale in Vo Wacune. Could I prevail upon you to ask around for me and see if you can find something suitable? Don’t evict anybody or anything like that, but find me a place where I can hide. If I hear any more about love potions, I think I’ll scream.’
‘I had not realized that the nobles at court had been so cruelly imposing upon thee, my Lady Polgara. I shall let it be known discreetly that thou art in search of a more permanent habitation.’
‘I’d appreciate that, my Lord.’
‘Would it really work?’ he asked curiously, slipping out of ‘high style’.
‘Which was that, my Lord?’
‘A love potion. Can you actually mix something up that would make somebody fall in love?’
‘Oh, dear,’ I sighed. ‘Not you, too. No, Kathandrion. There’s absolutely nothing that’d have that effect. There are some herbs out of Nyissa that’ll arouse lust, but nothing in all the world that’ll awaken love. I know that love potions play a large part in Arendish epics, but in real life, there’s no such thing. It’s a literary device and nothing more.’
‘Ah,’ he sighed. ‘How painful it is to have one’s illusions shattered.’
‘I think that one missed me,’ I confessed.
‘My favorite epic tragedy doth hinge upon this literary convention thou hast described. I fear me that I will never again be able to read its stately lines with any degree of satisfaction. I will sorely lament its loss.’
‘It looks as if I’ve got further to go than I thought,’ I half-muttered.
‘What sayest thou, my Lady?’
‘Nothing, Kathandrion.’ I laughed and laid a fond hand on his wrist.
The house I ultimately purchased was not far from the palace. It was quite large, but very reasonably priced – largely because a generation or so of neglect had caused it to fall into such disrepair as to make it almost uninhabitable. I could have taken care of that myself, I suppose, but to do it that way would have merely spread the infection which was driving me out of the palace. My first step in the renovation of my house, therefore, involved the hiring of workmen to patch the roof, shore up the foundations, replace the broken glass, chase out the birds and squirrels who’d taken up residence inside, and to dismantle the brewery an enterprising tavern-owner had set up in the basement without bothering to take out a lease on the premises. I soon discovered that day-laborers in Vo Wacune came in three grades: bad, worse, and awful.