"It has to be," I agreed in a choked voice. Bret's hand tightened on my shoulder. I searched the woods even though I knew it was much too soon to expect their return if they had survived. I couldn't tear my gaze from the trees though as I struggled to keep breathing. "We have to find the others, see if there are other creatures out there, if there are any survivors."
"We will," Bret assured me.
"Are you like one of them now?" Lloyd asked as his gaze ran over me.
I frowned as my attention turned to my arms. I hadn't realized that my veins were still filled with black until he spoke. That had never happened to me before Aiden had been killed and I'd attacked that other creature. Apparently though my cells had stabilized, my body had still harbored one more secret.
"Are my eyes black too?" I asked as I tried to will my arms to go back to normal but they remained the same. Panic filled me as I lifted my head to meet Bret's confused gaze.
"No, they're the same."
I turned toward Lloyd. Though he didn't look as if he would like to shoot me, he definitely stared at me like I was something he'd never seen before. "I'm not one of them," I said. "Bishop said my cells had stabilized but I don't know what's going on now."
"It's ok," Bret assured me as he turned me stiffly toward the house. "I know it's difficult but you probably just need to relax Bethany. Let's get you back inside."
"I think I let my control go," I mumbled as I turned my arms over. "They killed Aiden and I lost it and now..."
"You're going to be fine. You just have to calm down."
He propelled me up the steps of the porch and into the shadowed interior of the house. Molly remained at Aiden's side with tears streaming down her cheeks. Jenna was in the corner by the window with Abby, who was still crying as she hugged Jenna. Matt was pale and shaken as he hovered in the doorway with Barney at his feet.
Bishop grabbed hold of my arms and led me away from the doorway. "Lloyd, take the body..."
"No!" Molly and I cried at the same time.
"Bethany, seeing his body is not going to calm you down any. Take some deep breaths, it's the only way you're going to regain control of yourself," Bret said.
"I can't believe they did it," Jenna breathed from the window.
"They'll be back," I whispered. "They have to come back."
"Yes, they'll be back," Bishop assured me. He nodded toward Lloyd and Darnell as he turned me away from the table. "Sit, Bethany."
I grasped my brother's wrist as Lloyd took hold of his shoulders. "You are not taking him yet," I grated through clenched teeth. I had Aiden's body, I had my chance to say goodbye. I may never get that chance with Cade and I wasn't willing to part ways with my brother just yet. "Please, leave him. It's not him causing this."
I closed my eyes as I bent my head and took a deep breath. "It's me," I whispered. "It's me."
Or rather it was the piece of me I was missing. A piece of me I was terrified had just been swallowed by the sea. I thought I would know if something had happened to him but I didn't know anything right now. There was nothing but anger and confusion inside of me, nothing but emptiness and loss.
I opened my eyes and was taken aback by the reflection of a woman I didn't recognize in the mirror behind Molly. The veins in my face were all clearly visible as the black I had seen within Cade seeped through them. I had been taken over and though I'd come to accept the fact that I wasn't completely human nor was I an alien, I was slapped in the face with the realization that I was something new, something different, and I had to get my act together.
I couldn't sit here and wallow in the desolation trying to consume me. It would only make me volatile and though I'd always remained mostly in control, this loss of restraint could get someone hurt. Someone else that I loved and cared for could die, and I could be the one that did it.
I had survived the wreck that had killed my father; I had survived the infusion of Cade's blood in my system, the loss of my mother, and the loss of my brother. If Cade didn't return I would grieve him every day for the rest of my life, I would never again know the peace and joy that only his arms and love could bring to me, but I wasn't alone in this world and I never would be.
I focused my attention on Abby and Jenna. I could feel the iciness that had settled into me after Aiden's death easing away as tears began to spill from my eyes and the blackness slowly receded from my face. My heart felt like it was shattering in a whole new way when my gaze fell upon the open sky outside of the windows and I realized that the ship had been completely consumed by the sea.
The ship had been there for so long now that I'd forgotten how clear and massive the sky could be. How beautiful.
My hand slipped from Aiden's wrist as fresh sobs wracked through me. So much had been lost today and yet so much had been gained. I clung to the hope that one of those gains had been the return of our freedom as Abby enveloped me with her tiny arms and pressed her cheek against mine.
***
After a final count we discovered that nearly a quarter of the compound had been lost to The Seekers, including Cory's mate, Blanche. Greg, Darnell and Arlene supervised the gathering of the bodies as Rosemary tried to comfort the broken Souls and Tintagelians that had been left behind. I knew how they felt as every movement was exhausting, every breath was a struggle, and every heartbeat felt fractured and off beat.
Bishop had taken some people to extract some of the venom The Seekers contained to keep on hand in case we ever came across more of The Frozen Ones again. It was a horrendous way to reawaken them and I thought the odds of finding more of them were slim given the fact that we hadn't encountered any in at least a month, but it was better to have the venom just in case.
I tried not to think about the death and melancholy surrounding me as I concentrated on shoveling dirt from the hole that would hold my brother. Bret worked beside me tirelessly, his head bowed as his bare shoulders bunched and flexed beneath the torchlight that illuminated the night. Sobs resonated throughout and though my chest felt as if someone had punched me repeatedly, I didn't shed any more tears. I wasn't sure there was enough water left in me for tears.
I glanced at the charred forest behind me, but most of the fire had burned itself out and what did still burn had been contained to a small area that others were working to put out now. The acrid scent of smoke and burnt wood clogged my mouth and nostrils making it difficult to breathe.
"How will we know if the other ships leave?"