Her stepfather’s mantra echoed in her mind— winners never quit and quitters never win.
But this was different. This was a losing situation all around.
She saw Brandt climbing out of his truck when she pulled into her driveway. She motioned him over and rolled down the window.
He said, “What’s up?”
“Get in. Fast. Landon’s asleep and I don’t wanna wake the little beast up.”
“That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
Brandt climbed in the passenger side. “Look, Jess, I’m sorry—”
She held up her hand. “I just want to enjoy the silence for a little while longer.”
He nodded and relaxed in the seat.
But Jessie could feel him looking at her. And for the first time, maybe ever, she didn’t mind.
After about ten minutes, Brandt asked, “What happened today?”
“Landon melted down. Completely. Skylar has suggested I only take him to daycare in the morning until he gets used to it. She even suggested we skip taking him to your mom this week until he’s more settled.” Her hands tightened on the wheel. “I’m gonna let you handle that with Joan. And I want you to make sure she knows I’m not trying to keep Landon away from her.”
“Hey, Jess, I’d never do that to you.”
She expected him to say “I’m not like Luke” but he didn’t.
Brandt stretched his arm along the back of the seat. “So if Landon’s only gonna be there part time this week, where do I come in?”
“You’ll have to pick him up at noon, because I can’t afford to take every afternoon off.”
“Understood. It shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll let Tell and Dalton know it’ll be a short work week for me.”
“So Casper won’t chew your ass for not being around?”
“Probably. But nothin’ I ever do makes him happy anyway, so he’ll just pile on more shit work for when I am there. Threatening to…”
“Threatening to what?”
“Same old tune, him reminding’ me I gotta ‘prove’ to him that I’m dedicated enough to take over the ranch. He’s been hangin’ that over my head since Luke died.”
If that irked her, Jessie couldn’t imagine how Brandt felt. “Would Casper really do that?”
“What? Cut me out of ownership of our part of the ranch? If he decided he had a good enough reason, absolutely.”
Silence filled the cab—not comfortable silence.
Brandt gently said, “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know if I can do this, Brandt.”
He paused a second. “Okay. I appreciate your honesty.”
“But?”
“But I don’t know if a few hours is enough to make a decision. Especially if all you’ve had with him are a few bad hours.”
“How long did it take you to decide to ask me to help you with Landon’s care?”
He mumbled something.
“Say what?”
“Three days. Three very long days when I second and third guessed this from every possible angle and…I still ain’t sure I did the right thing.”
That admission surprised her.
“Every one of my McKay cousins showed up this morning and that’s a rare thing, trust me.”
Jessie frowned. “Why? Is there something going on with the ranch?”
“There’s always something goin’ on, but I usually hear about it long after it’s happened. Dad ain’t real good about keepin’ me informed, which pisses me off because I’ve been doin’ every damn thing he’s ever asked and he still has all the control and never lets me forget it.” He inhaled. Exhaled. “Sorry. That’s twice I’ve gone off about it today. For once my cousins showing up didn’t have nothin’ to do with the ranch.
They came because of Landon. But mostly because of you.”
Her gut clenched. “Me? Why?”
“They asked why I didn’t come to them first and ask for help.”
No surprise the McKay’s circled the wagons around one of their own. “What’d you say?”
Brandt sighed, pushing his hat back to rub his forehead. “I didn’t know what to say. It pissed me off a little, to be honest. Because of the…family dynamic between my dad and his brothers, it’d make things ten times worse for everyone if I’d asked one of Uncle Carson’s, or Uncle Cal’s, or Uncle Charlie’s sons or daughters-in-law to help.”
She weighed aspects of this situation she hadn’t considered. “Is it a family pride thing?”
“Jess—”
“It’s not a nosy question. Maybe for the first time I understand why you involved me—because I’m neutral. The lesser of two evils. You knew your dad would prefer to have me, who he’s never liked, helping out with Landon, rather than taking his brothers’ or his nephews’ charity.” Another thing occurred to her.
“And you don’t want your McKay relatives knowing you don’t think your father would be a fit guardian for Landon, even temporarily.”
“But it’s more about how they view my mom and not my dad.”
Logical, sweet Brandt. Sparing his mother’s feelings. Figuring out every contingency before he made a single move. It used to drive Luke crazy, since Luke was the impulsive one.
And look what happened to him.
“Yeah. I’m a bastard.”
“No. You’re just a good guy who’s been put in a no win situation and you’re trying to make everyone happy.” Jessie had circled back to her house. She braked and turned into her driveway.
Brandt said nothing until after she’d parked. Then he faced her with such a look of misery her breath caught. “You’re wrong about me, Jessie. I’m not a good guy. I’m selfish. You were always my first choice.
Always. Even when I knew this would hurt you like nothin’ else, I still went ahead and demanded this of you anyway. And I have to live with knowing when this is done, you’ll probably hate me and I’ll deserve it.”
He jumped out and hefted a still sleeping Landon into his arms before she could formulate a response.
Three hours later, Jessie couldn’t believe the change in Landon. He played quietly with his toys on the floor, although he never ventured very far from Brandt. Happy as she was that he wasn’t screaming, she worried his adjustment at the daycare would take longer if was subjected to continual quiet instead of chaos. After she popped the casserole in the oven, she returned to the living room where Brandt was working on his laptop.