Her pink lipstick was smeared with my red, and I knew my lipstick must look as bad. It wasn’t neat, but it didn’t look like clown makeup either, it looked . . . like we’d smeared it kissing each other wildly. But wait . . . we had.
It made me laugh almost wildly. J.J. gave me a questioning look out of her clear blue eyes, and I reached for her again, sliding my hands underneath the bit of blue silk, so that I could feel more of that taut, satin-kissed, muscled skin. I realized vaguely that I was getting an echo of someone in my head and it wasn’t me. I wasn’t being invaded by some evil spirit, but I shared memories with Jean-Claude, and he had loved women for more centuries than America had been a country. Somewhere in his past had been someone that J.J. reminded him of, and I was able to get that fierce, happy echo without having to experience the actual memory. I liked that.
But I’d also had to own that if I hadn’t agreed with the joyful eagerness of Jean-Claude’s memory, it couldn’t have forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do. I wanted to slide the blue silk over J.J.’s head and see the body I’d been touching, so that I saw the blue lace of her thong sitting against the lean swell of her hips. I wanted to run my hands over all that lean and feminine muscle, so I did. Her breasts were so small and she so lean that they were almost just an extension of the pectoral muscle like men can get, but when I cupped them in my hands they were soft, moving and changing as I squeezed and caressed them. To get as much breast in my hand as I wanted I had to mound one up, so that I could lean over and wrap my mouth tight around her, and suck. I did it until she cried out, “God!” It encouraged me a little too much, so that she had to say, “Too hard, less teeth.”
I eased up, and pulled back to find our mingled lipsticks decorating her breast as if I’d painted it with my mouth. Some movement caught my eye and I found Jason holding on to one of the dark wooden bedposts. His fingers were holding on to the heavy carving of the bed like it was an anchor to hold him where he was, and his face was more than eager. His eyes held something close to pain, and I remembered that he, like me, wasn’t much of a watcher. We were both more doers.
I turned and looked at Nathaniel, still tied in the middle of the big bed, unable to come play. His lavender eyes were some of the darkest purple I’d ever seen them, lips half parted, face raw with lust. His body was eager and ready just from watching me with the other women. He didn’t have this reaction to just Jade and me, and I realized that he liked J.J.’s less complicated eagerness, too.
Domino had moved to the bed, his fingers actually touching the edge of it. He was fighting to keep his face neutral and failing, but he was trying. Nathaniel wasn’t hiding how he felt, but then he was nude and male, it was a little late to hide. Domino controlled his face, but his body was so hard and tight against the red silk undies that it made me want to crawl over there and touch him, strip him of the silk and have him join us.
I turned last to Jade, because only she had moved farther away from us; all the men who could move closer, had. Her face was very careful, trying for neutral, but I knew the set of her shoulders, that almost hunched look. I realized in that moment that I’d have done better, had fewer issues, if she were more dominant a personality, had more aggression and surety to throw in with mine, rather than making me chase, seduce, when I didn’t truly want to do either.
J.J.’s hands slid under my own bit of black silk, and there was a demand to her touch, a lack of tentativeness that I liked a lot. Maybe my biggest trouble with Jade wasn’t that she was female, but that she was so uncertain, so that I always had to persuade, do all the planning, and just court her in a way that the men normally courted me. As J.J. pushed me back against the bed I had a feeling that she wouldn’t make me be in charge of all the relationship. Yay, so yay!
What do you do in the middle of making out with one woman, when you realize your other lover may not be the girl of your dreams? You reach for her, because you can’t bear to see that careful sadness on her face, so I did. She rewarded me with one of the most brilliant smiles I’d ever seen on her face, and I couldn’t do anything but smile back, and then J.J. worked my nightie up over my breasts and pressed her mouth to one of them, and the smiling turned into me making wordless, eager noises for her.
Jade pulled her red silk over her head and threw it behind her. She bent over me, kissing me upside down, while J.J. tried to put as much of my breast into her mouth as she could. It might have made me giggle, except that Jade’s mouth was pressed to mine, the silk of her hair falling around my face.
J.J. began to suck on my breast and I didn’t feel like giggling anymore. Jade leaned over me, her breasts brushing my face as she bent over my other breast and licked over my nipple. I mounded her breast in my hand and returned the favor. Her body shivered for me, and then she used her hand to draw my breast up, so she could suck on my nipple, and all three of us began to suck, lick, and nibble a breast apiece. We had three leftover breasts and more mouths in the room. I would have loved to bring Jason and Domino onto the bed to join the breast play, and the thought of Nathaniel only being able to watch it all tightened things low in my body, not because I wanted to exclude him, but because I knew how much it would excite him to be forced to only watch with his body so eager to join. But what works in fantasy doesn’t always work in reality; if you add too many people it can go from erotic and exciting to a game of Jenga. Adding the boys, even if both women would have agreed, might have been too much, like Internet porn: sex that no one really enjoys, but it looks impressive, and gives you bragging rights of I’m kinkier than thou.
I bit a little harder on Jade’s breast, and she startled. The reaction let me know it was too hard for her. I was beginning to suspect that I’d bite breasts harder if I could find a woman who enjoyed it.
J.J. raised her mouth up enough to ask, “Do you like breast play as hard as you like other things?”
I had to let go of Jade’s breast to answer, “Yes.”
J.J. looked back at Jason. “How hard can I bite?”
He answered still holding on to the bedpost. His voice sounded much calmer than the look in his eyes. “Bite down with slowly increasing pressure; Anita will let you know when you’ve reached her limit.”
J.J. turned back to me with wide eyes. “Really?”
“Yes,” Domino answered, from the edge of the bed where he had wrapped his arms around himself, as if he were holding himself back from the bed with his own physical force.
A shiver of power made me look at Nathaniel, who was only a couple of feet from us. His eyes had bled to the rich gray-blue of his leopard’s eyes. He was the only blue-eyed leopard I’d ever seen, as if even in animal form his eyes had to be unusual.
J.J. used her hand to mound my breast up so that she could slide her mouth over it, and then she began to bite down slowly, so that it was just pressure.
“Harder,” I said.
She rolled her eyes up, and they were uncertain, but she put more pressure, and after two more times of me saying, “Harder,” she was in the ballpark for how hard I wanted it in that moment. Some nights I didn’t want to be bitten, but tonight was not one of those nights.
I breathed out, “Harder!”
Her eyes rolled up to me and finally held that darkness I had never seen in another woman, like the eyes of a lioness looking over the body of a gazelle, and she bit me. It bowed my spine, threw me writhing over the bedspread, hands grabbing at the bedspread for something, anything, to hold on to. I found Jade’s hand, but she pulled away so that I was left with the bedcovers wrapped in my hands while J.J.’s mouth rode my breast.
I cried out for her, and finally said, “Safeword, safeword, stop, stop!”
She rose up from my breast and left a red ring of her teeth imprinted on my right breast. She hadn’t bled me, but it was a nice mark.
“Did I hurt you?” she asked, voice breathy and a little thick.
“No,” I said, and laughed, “no.”
She moved up so she was even with me, and studied my face for a moment, and then she smiled. “That was fun.”
“Yes, yes it was,” I said, and my voice was breathless and happy.
Some small sound made me turn my head. Domino had moved farther away from the bed; Nathaniel had his eyes closed, body straining against the ropes, as he fought for his own control. It was Jade kneeling in the pillows at the head of the bed, tears shining on her face.