"You'll take care of me?" He looked up at me with a need in his eyes that was so raw, so primitive, I would have promised him anything to chase that look away.
"Yes, I'll take care of you."
His whole body relaxed. A tension running out of him like water from a cracked cup. I felt it run down his arm into his hand into me like a jolt of energy. It made me jump, but I didn't pull away.
He smiled up at me, lying back against the pillows. He looked a little better somehow, stronger.
I slid my hand out of his slowly, and he let me go. Great. I turned to the rest of the room. "We need to get you all out of here."
"I could go home now," Stephen said, "but Nathaniel still can't be moved."
"I don't trust the cops without me here to act as a buffer."
"Padgett is very afraid of us," Teddy said.
I nodded. "I know."
"Feed me," Nathaniel said. "Give me your strength, and I will go with you."
I frowned at him, then looked back at Stephen. "He's not seriously suggesting I open a vein for him, is he?"
"Richard could do it," Stephen said.
"Richard couldn't feed one of the leopards," Lorraine said, "only us."
"Raina could have f**ked him back to health," Kevin said.
That earned him a long stare from me. "What are you talking about?"
"Raina could share energy without sharing blood," he said. His face registered both distaste and lust, as if he'd enjoyed some of Raina's shows in spite of himself. "She'd run her hands over you, then her body. It always ended with her f**king you. The more hurt you started out, the better she liked it, but you'd be healed when she was finished."
I turned to Stephen, because I didn't believe it. He nodded. "I've seen her do it."
"You're not suggesting that she..." Lorraine let the awful thought go unsaid, but I was with her.
"I am not opening a vein, and I am most certainly not going to have sex with him."
"You don't want me." Nathaniel's voice was tear-filled, heartbroken.
"It's nothing personal," I said. "I'm just not into casual sex." This entire conversation was too weird even for me.
"Then Nathaniel has to stay here at least another twenty-four hours," Kevin said. He rolled the cigarette between his fingers while he talked.
Stephen nodded. "That's what the doctor said. We asked when he told me I could go home today."
"Don't leave me, Stephen." Nathaniel reached out across the space between them, as if he could touch him.
"I won't leave you alone, Nathaniel, not without someone to take care of you."
Teddy spoke. "Just because it ended in sex for Raina doesn't mean it has to end that way."
We all looked at him. "What do you mean?" Kevin asked.
"Everything ended in sex for Raina. But it was the touching that healed. I think my injuries were healed before we got down to basics." Just listening to him talk like that with a sixty-inch chest of pure muscle made my brain hurt. It was like finding out your golden retriever talked. You just didn't expect to get brains in such a bulky package.
Kevin shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is she healed me. I don't remember when I was better. I just remember her."
"Is there anyone in this room that didn't sleep with Raina?" I asked.
The only person who raised their hand was Lorraine, and knowing Raina, that had been debatable. "Sweet Jesus."
"I think Anita could heal him without sex, just bare skin," Teddy said.
I started to say no, then remembered sharing energy with Jean-Claude. Bare skin had been important there, too. Maybe it was the same. "Did Raina seem to feel tired after healing you?"
All the men shook their heads. The consensus was it seemed to energize her, not weaken her. Of course, that was Raina and she had been an unusual puppy even for a werewolf.
I didn't want to leave Nathaniel here, not even with werewolves to guard him. I didn't trust Padgett. There was also no guarantee that the zealots, whoever they were, wouldn't try for another hit. Either we all went or we all stayed. I had more crime scenes to visit. I couldn't sit here all bloody day.
"Okay, let's try it, but I don't have the faintest idea how to begin."
Nathaniel settled back into the pillows with something like a smile of expectation on his face. Like a child who's about to get the ice cream he was promised. Trouble was, I was the ice cream.
37
Kevin put a chair under the door handle and we were as secure as we were likely to get. I'd told Smith, who was now manning the door, that I needed to get a feel for things, and I'd be done when I was done. I was being treated like a detective, so the uniforms would stay out. The only worry was Padgett. He'd only stay out until his ego recovered. I half expected him to try and barge in on us. The only thing that might save us from him was the fact that he'd want to break the door in because he'd be sensing what we were doing, and he wouldn't want to admit that.
I stood by the bed. Nathaniel looked up at me with a look that was so trusting, it made me nervous. I turned away and found everyone else looking at me, too. "Okay, guys, now what? I've never even seen this done."
There was an exchange of looks all the way around. Stephen said, "I don't know if we can explain it to you."
I nodded. "I know, magic is like that. You either get it, or you don't."
"Is this magic?" Teddy asked. "Or is it just psychic ability?"
"I'm not sure there is a difference," I said. "Sometimes I think the only difference is that psychic ability is something you do without thinking about it, and magic requires a ritual to get your juices going."
"You do more of this kind of shit than we do," Kevin said. "We're just werewolves, not witches."
"I'm not a witch. I'm a necromancer."
He shrugged. "Same diff to me." He sat down in the chair he'd started out in, crushing the cigarette into the palm of his hand as if it were lit and his flesh were an ashtray. He scowled up at me. I didn't know him well enough to be sure, but he seemed nervous.
Me, too. I only knew two ways to raise energy: ritual or sex. The sex took the place of ritual when I was with Jean-Claude or Richard. But I had no bond with Nathaniel. No marks, no emotion, nothing. I wasn't his leoparde lionne,not really. It was all lies. I couldn't do this without some feeling towards him. Pity wasn't enough.
Teddy loomed up behind me. "What's wrong, Anita?"
I would have walked across the room and whispered, but I knew Nathaniel would hear anywhere in the small room. "I need some emotion to work from, something."
"Emotion?" he asked.
"I don't know Nathaniel. I don't feel anything for him except pity, obligation. Neither of those is enough to even get started."
"What do you need?" His eyes were very serious. The intelligence in them was almost touchable.
I tried to put it into words and ended up saying, "I need something to take the place of a ritual."
"Raina didn't use a ritual," Kevin said from the chair.
"She used sex. Sex can take the place of the ritual."
"You raised power at the lupanar that one night with Richard," Stephen said. "You didn't have sex, but you still raised power."
"But I... I wanted Richard sexually. It's a sort of energy all of its own."
"Nathaniel is handsome," Stephen said.
I shook my head. "It's never been that easy for me. I need more than a pretty face."
Stephen slid out of the bed in one of those wraparound gowns, but it didn't gape as he moved. It was wrapped around him like a sheet, more cloth than he needed, just like it would have been on me. One size never really fits all.
He tried to take my hand, and I wouldn't let him. "Let me help you."
"Define help." Suspicious, who me?
He smiled, and it was almost condescending. The smile men get around girls when they're doing something sort of cute and girlish. The smile alone pissed me off. "What is your problem?" I asked.
"You," he said softly. "You know I would never hurt you, don't you?"
I looked into his cornflower-blue eyes and nodded. "Never on purpose." I said.
"Then trust me now. Let me help you call the power."
"How?" I asked.
He took my hand in both of his, and this time I let him. He drew my hand to Nathaniel. He rested my fingertips on Nathaniel's forehead. His skin was cool. Just the touch of his skin, and you knew he wasn't well.