Hugging my bear, I snuck a glance at Garret. His face, turned toward the distant ocean, was troubled, his eyes far away and dark.
I blinked and bumped his shoulder with mine, bringing his attention back to me. “You okay?” I asked softly.
Garret
No. I wasn’t.
I’d realized something, maybe while smashing into bumper cars in an effort to protect Ember, maybe while giving everything I had to win her that bear, or maybe while just sitting here with her, side by side. I…liked this girl. I wanted to spend more time with her; she was constantly in my thoughts, and right now the only thing I wanted was to lean in and kiss her. Which was, of course, disastrous for the mission, but I couldn’t help it. Somewhere between that day on the beach when I’d met her for the first time and the night of the party when we’d kissed in the ocean, she had become something more than a potential target. She had, very inexplicably, become the most important thing in my life.
And that terrified me.
My hand was in my pocket, fingers closed around the bug I hadn’t been able to place in her phone. Tangible evidence that I was failing the mission, that I was far too close.
Ember rested her chin on the top of her bear and gazed up at me.
Green eyes met mine, open and inquisitive, and a little worried.
“You’re brooding,” she accused softly, sounding very much like Tristan at that moment. “What are you thinking about?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Liar.” Clearly unconvinced, she sat up straighter, watching me.
“Come on, Garret. One minute you’re fine, the next you go all dark and serious. Something is obviously bothering you. What’s wrong?”
I scrambled for a response, knowing she wouldn’t let it go until I replied. “I…was just thinking about the end of the month,” I said, turning to face her. She gave me a puzzled frown, and I gestured vaguely at the amusement park. “Summer will be over soon. In a few weeks, I’ll have to go home, back to Chicago and my dad. We won’t see each other again.”
I gazed out over the railing, surprised by how much that bothered me. Though most of it was a lie, the part about not seeing her again was real. If she was a normal civilian, I’d leave as soon as the mission was over, returning to the Order and the eternal war. and if she was the sleeper…I clenched my fist around the railing, finally forcing myself to really acknowledge what that meant. I’d always known of course. It was always there, at the back of my mind; I just didn’t want to think about it. But if Ember was the sleeper…I would have to kill her. That’s was my duty; what the Order expected of me. To put a bullet in her heart, without mercy, and watch her die. It was easier to kill a dragon in human form; they didn’t have their armor-like scales to protect them, or the thick chest plates that turned away all but the highest caliber rounds. One shot to the head or through the heart—that was what it took to kill a shifted dragon. If you could surprise one in human form, before they had a chance to shift, they stood no chance.
A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Dragons were the enemy, they wanted to enslave humans, and the Order was the only thing standing between them and global dominion. I knew that. I believed that wholeheartedly.
But, before I’d met Ember, I’d never shot zombies in a crowded mall on a Saturday. I’d never gone surfing and felt that pure adrenaline rush of riding the waves. And I’d never felt anything like what Ember stirred in me when we kissed, that rush of heat that both thrilled and terrified me.
I felt balanced on the edge of something huge, and the earth was cracking under my feet. Everything the Order had taught me about dragons—that they were lethal, conniving, calculating monsters who hated mankind—none of that fit the daring, cheerful girl at my side. Which could mean only two things: that Ember was a normal human being, or that the Order was wrong.
And the second part of that statement disturbed me more than anything I’d ever faced.
A slim hand on my knee jolted me out of my dark thoughts. I looked back to find Ember gazing up at me, still hugging her bear to her chest.
“I know,” she said, as I struggled to focus on what she was saying; the warm fingers on my leg were fairly distracting. “I’ve been thinking about that, too. The locals here have a saying— don’t let your heart leave the beach. It means you should never get attached to someone who’s going to disappear at the end of the summer. If they’re going to leave anyway, why risk it?
“But,” she continued, “if we did that, if we never took a chance on anything, we might miss out on something incredible. I don’t have a lot of time here, either. When summer ends…” Her eyes darkened a shade. “My life is going to get pretty crazy. But, I’m glad that I met you.” Even if we have to part ways at the end of the summer, I wouldn’t change anything.” She paused again, averting her gaze as if in embarrassment. “From the day we met, you’ve been the person that I look forward to seeing, spending time with, the most. I never really felt like I fit in until you came along. You made me forget…some unpleasant things in my life. You made me feel that I wasn’t so different after all.”
I reached up, brushing a fiery strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re not…really that different, you know,” I faltered. I didn’t know why I was telling her this; until now, I hadn’t even known I’d felt like this.
“I’ve never fit in anywhere, well, anywhere normal. My life has always been dictated by my dad, and where he thought we should go.
The only difference is…you do all the things I never allowed myself to do. Things I never thought I wanted.” I looked into her brilliant green eyes, and smiled ruefully. “I didn’t know what I was missing, until I met you.”
Ember’s gaze went searingly bright. Dropping her bear, she scooted forward and straddled my waist on the bench, a move that would’ve normally set off all my alarms, but I had given up on normal a while ago. I wrapped my arms around her small form, holding her tight, letting the heat of her body melt through the last of my armor, dissolving the logic of not getting close. The soldier was still warning me not to do this. The soldier was still reminding me that she was a potential target and nothing else. I ignored him. I was getting good at ignoring him, but today was different. This wasn’t me convincing myself I was still following the mission; I knew that was a lie. My emotions had finally gotten the better of me, and I was with Ember because I wanted to be here. Tonight, I didn’t care. I’d been a soldier every day for the past seventeen years. Just this once, I wanted to know what it was like…to live.