Ty burst into laughter, the sound clear as a bell as it reached Zanes ears. Nicks laughter joined it. “Oh God, that was funny,” Ty murmured contentedly. “The screams.”
“Almost got the brig for it.”
“Worth it,” Ty acknowledged.
There was another long silence, almost enough for Zane to retreat to the bathroom again. But Nicks next question, seemingly out of nowhere, arrested his retreat.
“You still dreaming?” Nick asked, his voice lowered reverently like that of a man in church. Or a man with a secret. Ty remained silent for several heartbeats. “Mostly its just the desert,” he finally answered, sounding somewhat troubled. “But its not bad, Im just there. Dont know which way is up, which way is safety, which way goes… back. I wake up tasting sand instead of blood, now. Theyre not like they used to be.”
Zane was intimately familiar with the results of some of Tys dreams and nightmares, and he knew about the desert. He snorted softly. Hed never asked Ty to tell him, and Ty had never offered. “Dont know which way is up” described his own situation pretty damn well right now. Lost. Lost in the dark instead of the sand. Maybe Ty really did understand, just a little bit.
He knew Ty and Nick had been close, very close, close born of blood and beer and sweat and tears and all of that clichéd Band of Brothers shit that really was true. Zane just wondered if they were still that close and how it was possible he didnt know about it after practically living in Tys pocket for almost half a year.
“How about you?” Ty asked. “You still dream?” “Every once in a while,” Nick answered. He sounded almost haunted. “I still wake up screaming your name, man. Just like you never came back.”
“But I did,” Ty answered calmly.
Zane heard Nick snort. "And I dream about that damn table." “Me too,” Ty admitted, the whispered words painful and drawn.
Shifting uncomfortably, Zane laid his cheek against the cool wood of the doorframe. Something had happened to them, to Ty and Nick, something like how New York City and a serial killer had happened to Ty and Zane. Something horrible enough to make Ty sound like that when he spoke of it.
The silence below felt heavy with the past, and Zanes mind strayed toward painful memories of his own before Nick pulled his attention back.
“Anyone but you, man, and Id have died out there,” Nick said, his voice harsh and laid bare. “We both would have,” Ty responded, his voice calm again, in stark contrast. “Its back there, Nick. Stay right here.” Zane heard his knuckles rap the wooden table. “Come on,” he finally said gently, and Zane heard a chair being pushed back against the hardwood floor. “You can take the pullout. Ill bunk with Garrett.”
“Hey, Ty? I may be drunk and I may be Irish, but Im not stupid,” Nick drawled, letting the words run into each other almost insolently. “I remember what on the brink looked like, and it had your eyes.”
Zane opened his eyes even though it was to complete darkness. He ought to get into the bedroom now while he had the chance, ought to at least shut the bathroom door, ought to know better… but on the brink… of what?
“Talk to me, Grady,” Nick urged, and after a moment of silence, he added, “I mean, Jesus, after what weve been through, if you cant tell me, who can you tell?”
“Theres nothing wrong, O,” Ty insisted, his voice remarkably calm and honest. “I promise.”
“Okay,” Nick murmured, giving in and sounding unhappy about it. Zane could hear Ty moving, steps slow and measured and not nearly as quiet as when he was sober. “Good night,” Ty said to Nick, the tone of the words effectively saying “dont ask me again.”
Zane stepped inside the bathroom and pushed the door shut with a quiet snick, figuring Ty would be on his way up the stairs. Better for him to come out of the bathroom and be told where to sleep rather than picking the wrong place to be. He leaned back against the closed door, wondering about the tone of Tys voice. He sighed, wishing he hadnt listened. He hadnt heard anything inappropriate. In fact, hed heard Ty say some pretty damn nice things about him. But it just raised more questions he couldnt get answers to. Shaking his head, he turned in place and reopened the door.
The impact with Tys body was almost immediate. Ty whuffed and wrapped his arms around Zane to catch his balance. “Slow down, Hoss,” Ty murmured. Zane could sense a smile there, but there was also lingering discomfort or annoyance. And a lot of beer on his breath. “You going up?”
“I… I wasnt sure where to go,” Zane mumbled, not knowing if Nick was right there or not. Tys hands came up to cover his cheeks, fingers pressed against the beard growing in after five days without shaving. He could feel Tys breath on his neck as he whispered, “I know I smell like beer. But Id rather have you in my bed tonight than the Irish.”
Zane shivered. No Nick, then. “You smell like you, mostly,” he said. Ty kissed him without another word. It was a quick, almost furtive kiss, but there was heat behind it, too, and the sour tang of the beer was fainter on Tys lips than Zane had expected. The steps below creaked, and Ty pulled away from him and gave his shoulders a turn, heading him in the general direction of the bedroom. A moment later Nick was murmuring goodnight to them both as he passed on to the third-floor stairs, and Ty shut the door to his bedroom behind them.
“Wont he think this is weird?” Zane asked, keeping his voice down. “Theres only two beds in the house. He usually sleeps with me, the others fight over the couches. I told him you needed to be within stumbling distance of the bathroom, less stairs.” Tys hand found its way to Zanes lower back. “Would you rather he sleep here and you go upstairs?”
“Hell no,” Zane swore under his breath. “Its just… hes your friend and all. A Marine. I didnt know if you had… in the past… does he know that you….” Zane paused for a breath. “Never mind. Im tired and youre drunk. Time to sleep.”
“Are you asking if Nick and I have f**ked?” Ty asked, plowing through all the gentle euphemisms he could have used, getting right to the point.
Something inside Zane curled awkwardly, and he flinched, aware of being silent for too long. “I actually hadnt gotten that far in thinking about the „friends through thick and thin. More along the lines of would he have any reason to think we might be more than work partners.” But now he also wanted to know the answer to the question Ty had thrown out there.