"So you feel bad about what happened?" "Of course I do."
"You expect me to believe you're a good guy, then?" Jude tossed his head back with an abrupt laugh. "A good guy? Is that really what you think?"
I didn't want to tell Jude what I thought of him. He made me feel tingly and loose and hot under the skin. He'd told me-in his own words-that he was dangerous. And while his dark eyes did smolder with secrets, I had seen beyond them. I knew that buried under the surface was a gentleness, a kindness. It was as endearing as alluring. I recalled Jude's taut, disciplined body when I'd watched him undress at the ranger patrol cabin. He made Calvin look like a boy. I glanced furtively at Jude, my eyes flitting automatically to the soft, mysterious set of his mouth, wondering what it would feel like to-
I choked at the thought.
Jude regarded me peculiarly. "What's wrong?" Fingering my neck, I said, "Must be getting a cough.”
”Your face is bright red. Do you want some water?" Why not? Clearly I needed something to cool me off.
Before he could reach for the canteen at his hip, Jude came up short. His hand instinctively gripped my arm, holding me back. He stared into the woods, a flash of panic registering in his brown eyes.
"What is it?" I whispered, my stomach squeezing instinctively with anxiety.
Jude's body remained tense for several more beats, until at last his hold on me relaxed. "Timber wolves. Three of them."
I followed his line of vision. I squinted at where the shadows made strange patterns on the glittering snow, but I didn't see movement.
"They're gone now,” Jude said. "They came to check us out."
"I thought wolves were shy of humans." Calvin had told me stories of spotting wolves while hiking. In the time it took him to pull out his camera, they always ran away.
"They are. They won't attack unless they're sick or provoked." Jude's eyes fell on mine with a look of significance. "I'm worried about grizzly bears. They often follow wolves, then move in after the pack makes a kill. They're freeloaders. Especially in the spring, when they've been hibernating and they're hungry."
"In other words, where there's a wolf, there's a grizzly bear." I shuddered, but this time not from cold.
My stomach scraped with hunger.
I could not picture myself killing an animal, but I was also deliriously hungry. The hollow ache wore me down to where my thinking shifted, and I agreed to join Jude on the hunt for breakfast. My body had long ago burned through the canned corn I'd eaten yesterday evening for dinner, and I could not continue hiking without food. Hunger pecked incessantly at my thoughts, until it was the only thing I could think about. I wanted to get to Idlewilde as soon as possible, but there was no way we'd last the strenuous and demanding hike without eating first.
Jude prepped me on the essentials of hunting, including how to track small animals and how to set a deadfall trap using sticks and a large rock. "we'll have to make our way out of the densest parts of the trees,” he said. "Animals gravitate toward water, food, and shelter. The sun doesn't penetrate this deep into the forest, which makes for little light and, subsequently, little food."
"I can find a river,” I offered helpfully. At Jude's dubious glance, I added, "The same way I knew how to guide you and Shaun deliberately to the ranger patrol cabin."
His hooded eyes evaluated me carefully. "That was intentional?"
"Yup,” I said, proud I could prove myself useful yet again. Unzipping my coat, I drew out Calvin's map. I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing by showing Jude the map, but it was a risk I decided to take. He still thought I was knowledgeable about the terrain-he needed me as much as he needed the map, which was a confusing jumble of Calvin's scribbled notes. Besides, if Jude were going to abandon me, he'd had several opportunities. The best plan now was to combine our resources and get to Idlewilde as quickly as possible.
I handed the map to Jude, who pondered it silently for a long time. At last he said, "where did you get this?"
"It's Calvin's. Did you see the countless notations? Impressive, right? I told you he's an expert on the area."
"Calvin made this?"
"I took it from his car before I drove up here. Without it, I'd probably be dead by now."
Jude said nothing, only continued to search the map keenly. "This area right here is approximately our current position,” I said, pointing near one of the many smaller glacial lakes that dotted the Tetons. "Here is the ranger patrol cabin. It's less than a mile away. Can you believe, after all that time trudging through the storm, we didn't even travel a mile? And here is Idlewilde. Given how slow we've been traveling, it could take most of a day to get there."
"What do the green dots represent? They're not labeled."
"This green dot marks the fur trapper's hut. And this one farther north marks the cabin where Shaun took me hostage."
"And this green dot?"
"I think it's also a shelter, probably abandoned. We'll pass it on our way to Idlewilde. I'm hoping we can rest there, warm up, and maybe find running water."
Jude continued to ponder the map, his attention sharply focused. His hands gripped it tightly, almost greedily, and for one moment I feared he'd tear the paper. "I believed you when you said we'd stumbled across the ranger outpost by accident. You played me."
I faked an expression of superiority. "Like a fiddle."
"This map could save our lives. Can I hold on to it?" Jude asked. "For safekeeping?"
I bit my lip, unable to conceal my anxiety. I hoped I hadn't made a mistake in showing him the map.
"I'm not going to run off with it,” Jude said gently. "I want to study it and see if I can find any shortcuts to Idlewilde."
"Maybe for a bit,” I agreed hesitantly. "I want to study it too,” I added, hoping he didn't think I was suspicious of him. Because I wasn't. At least, I didn't think I was. It was just that the map was my insurance. It was my safeguard and a physical symbol of Calvin, who I could trust completely.
"Deal." Jude tucked the map inside his coat with a strange, intense light in his eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
It was late afternoon before we ate. Hunting with jury-rigged tools was a painstaking and frustrating process that made me appreciate the pioneers and farmers who had settled Wyoming and Idaho, and the hours that must have gone into meeting their basic needs. If I made it home, I'd never take modern conveniences for granted again.