"Wot's that, eh?" She grabs tight to my sleeve.
There's movement in the trees. The mist is crawling. They start to come out, one by one, till there are twenty or more. The dead. Hollow-eyed. Pale-lipped. Skin stretched shiny-tight over bone. A woman in rags carries a baby at her breast. She's dripping wet and strings of slick, green vegetation hang twisted in her hair. Two men stagger forward, arms outstretched. I can see the rounded knob of bone where their hands have been chopped clean off. They keep coming, their mouths all making the same hideous murmur.
"Come to us. You've come to us."
Madame Romanoff is shrieking and practically climbing up my side. "Wot the 'ell's goin' on 'ere? Sweet Jesus, get me out of 'ere. Please! I'll never con nobody no more, on me mother's grave I won't." "Stop," I say, holding out my hand. Surprisingly, it works. "Which one of you is Sarah Rees- Toome?"
None of the spirits come forward.
"Is there one among you by that name?"
Nothing.
"Tell them to go away," Madame Romanoff says. She grabs a tree limb from the ground and swings it wildly in front of her, warding them off and grunting in fear. Through the trees, I see her. The blue silk of her dress. I hear the warm amber of her laugh.
Find me if you can, love.
I grab Madame Romanoff by the shoulders. "What's your name? Your real name."
"Sally," she says, hoarse with fear. "Sally Carny."
"Sally, listen carefully to me. I've got to leave you for a moment, but I'll be right back. You'll be all right."
"No! Don't you leave me 'ere wif them, you li'l slut, or I'll carve your creepy green eyes out when we get back! You see if I don't, now!"
She's screaming, but I'm already running through the trees, the hope of blue just ahead of me, always out of reach, and then I'm in the ruin of a temple. A Buddha sits cross-legged on an altar surrounded by candles. It's peaceful here. There's no sound save for the cooing of birds. No fear. I let my fingertips flutter against the orange-blue flame of the candles but I feel no heat or pain. A soft scent of lilies floats through the open door. I wish I could see those flowers of my childhood, of my mother and India, and then suddenly, they're everywhere. The room is filled with blooming white flowers. I made it happen with just my thoughts . It's so beautiful, I could stay here forever.
"Mother?" My voice comes out small and hopeful.
The room grows brighter. I can't see her, but I can hear her. "Gemma"
"Mother, where are you?"