Alpha Divided - Page 63/93

I took the goblet. Intricate etchings ran along the outside of the cup and the stem was delicate and diamond shaped. I was afraid I was going to break it just from holding it too hard. I ran my finger along the top of the glass and it rang. I couldn’t resist it, so I gave it a gentle flick.

A beautiful ring sounded. “This is real crystal.”

“Yes. It’s old and lovely. Make it strong.”

I gingerly placed it on the table and wiped my hands on my jeans. “All right. Here goes nothing.” I reached closer and began tracing the knot.

“Stop.”

I looked up at her. “Did I do something wrong?”

“That—” Rosa motioned a finger in a knot-like way. “Is just the trappings of the coven. It can mean something if you need help, but the magic comes from what’s inside. You do what you need to do to make it feel real. It could be a knot. It could be words that rhyme. The most powerful brujas I ever met didn’t need anything at all.”

Right. Because that wasn’t intimidating at all. “Okay.” I stared down at the fragile goblet. I closed my eyes, and instead of picturing crystal, I pictured steel. It was hard. Unbreakable.

Strong. Strong like steel. Strong like diamonds. I listed everything hard I could think of as I pictured the goblet in my mind. I willed it to be unbreakable with everything I had.

“Okay,” I said. “I tried my best.”

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Daniel laughed at his own joke.

“Shut up,” Claudia said.

“Oh, man. This could go south so fast,” Raphael said. He’d finally left his post by the door, and came closer to see what would happen.

“Be quiet. She did fine. I know she did it,” Claudia said as she stepped beside her brother.

I swallowed. That was a whole lot of pressure for one old lady to put on me. My hand shook as I handed Rosa the glass.

She moved to slam it against the coffee table, and I grabbed her arm. “Wait. Just wait. What if it breaks? I really did try, but I’ve fucked this up a lot and this seems to be a big deal to you and I’d really hate to—”

Rosa yanked away and slammed the goblet against the wood without breaking eye contact with me. Instead of a crash, the lovely ring of crystal sounded.

“Holy shit.” It felt like it took my heart a second for it to start beating again. “I totally thought it was going to break.”

“You need to have more faith in yourself. Even with everything you’ve accomplished in so little time, you doubt yourself. It will be your undoing. Try to manage that.”

I nodded more absently than out of agreement. “I’ll see what I can do.”

You okay? Dastien said through the bond.

Yeah. Some days things happen that are so weird, you know? And all you can think is, did that really just happen? Fuck. My heart was still beating like crazy. It would’ve really sucked if I’d broken my great-great-grandmother’s glass. Whenever I feel like I have a handle on something, it goes sideways and I lose my grip. How do you get used to it?

You’re asking the guy who just spent the week in the feral cages because he couldn’t keep it together?

I laughed, not caring if everyone in the room thought I was crazy. We’re the picture of the most put together couple ever.

Cherie. There was a little bit of pleading in his tone.

I sighed. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do. Everything’s a mess. I’m not where I want to be—even physically.

You’ll be okay. And if you aren’t, I’ll be right there with you. We’re a team, remember? For good and bad.

I blinked my eyes, trying to keep any tears away.

If I was supposed to be the touchstone for everyone else, then Dastien was for sure my touchstone. And now… “Okay. So, I trust my gut. That’s about all I can do.”

“Exactly.”

“Right.” That was so not reassuring. It was just a catchphrase people used when they had nothing useful or constructive to say. Except that Rosa was trying to be useful.

But it couldn’t be that easy. Life didn’t always work out as planned. No matter how badly I wanted it.

Chapter Sixteen

I spent the rest of the afternoon at Rosa’s as she tried to hammer in the lesson she wanted me to learn. We all ate tamales, and no one got sick, so that was worth it, but it’d be a while before I trusted her cooking again. The lady was a little nuts.

Then sun was just about to set we got back to the compound.

Driving through the gates. I warned Dastien.