I ran my tongue on my lips, which were cold from the water. I realized that my attraction to this woman, this delicate pale creature, had brought my anger and my confusion to the limit. I had to stop wondering about this and that and simply declare myself master. That's what I had to do. I wanted her. It was all connected in a human way-the carnal desire for her, and the desire to strive against Gregory and defy him, prove to myself he did not control me merely because the bones were now in his possession.
"You're frightened," Rachel said. "Don't be frightened of the plane. The plane is routine." Then a mischievous smile came on her again, and she said, "Of course it could explode at any minute, but, well, so far, it never has." She gave an easy bitter laugh.
"Listen, you have an expression in English, kill two birds with one stone?" I said. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to leave you now, and come back. That will prove to you that I'm a spirit and you'll stop worrying that you're consorting in desperation with a madman, and also I'll find out what Gregory is up to. Because he does have those bones, and he is a strange, strange man."
"You're going to disappear from here? Inside this plane?"
"Yes. Now tell me our destination in Miami. What is Miami? I'll meet you at the door of your home in Miami."
"Don't try this," she said.
"I have to. We can't go on with your suspicions. I see now Esther is like a diamond herself in the middle of a huge necklace, and the necklace is intricate. Where are we going? Where do I find Miami?"
"Tip end of the East Coast of the United States. My home is in a tower at the very end of the town called Miami Beach. It's in a high-rise. I'm on the top floor. There is a pink beacon on the tower above my apartment. Further south are the islands called the Florida Keys and then the Caribbean."
"That's enough; I'll see you there."
I looked down at the spilled droplets of water, at the horrifying picture of Esther on the stretcher and then in absolute shock I saw that I was in the picture! I was there! I had been caught by the camera as I had raised my hands to my head and howled in grief for Esther. This was before the stretcher had been put inside the ambulance. "Look," I said. "That's me."
She picked up the magazine, stared at the picture and at me. "Now I'm going to prove to you that I'm on your side, and I want to give that devil Gregory a good scare. You want something from your house? I'll bring it to you." She couldn't speak.
I realized that I had frightened her and silenced her. She was -merely watching me. I pictured her body without clothing. The shape of her limbs was pleasing and firm. Her legs in particular had a muscularity to them in their slender form which was graceful. I wanted to touch the backs of her legs, her calves, and squeeze them.
This was quite a lot of strength for me, a lot, and I had to resolve the issue of my freedom now.
"You're changing," she said in a suspicious voice, "but you're certainly not disappearing."
"Oh? What do you see?" I asked. I wanted to add with pride that I hadn't tried to disappear yet, but this was obvious.
"Your skin; the sweat's drying. Oh, it isn't much sweat. It's on your hands and your face and it's gone and you look, you look different. I could swear that there's more dark hair on your hands, you know, just the normal hair of a hirsute man."
"That I am," I said. I lifted my hand, looking at the black hairs on my fingers, and I reached down into my shirt and felt the thick curls on my chest. I pulled at them, pulled them again and again. That was my chest, the rough scratchiness of the hair when it was flat, the silkiness of it when I tugged on it, and played with it. "I am alive," I whispered. "Listen to me," I said.
"I'm listening. I couldn't be more attentive. What is it you see- about Esther's death and this necklace? You were saying something-" "Your daughter. She touched a scarf before she died. Do you want it? It was beautiful. She reached out for it right at the moment that the Evals surrounded her, the killers, I mean. She wanted it, and she died with it in her hand."
"How do you know this!"
"I saw it!"
"I have that scarf," she said. She went white with shock. "The saleswoman brought it to me. She said that Esther had reached for it, that Esther said she wanted it! How could you know this?"
"I didn't know that part. I just saw Esther reach for the scarf. I was going to ask you if you wanted the scarf. I was going to bring it to you for the same reasons as this merchant woman."
"I do want it!" she said. "It's in my room, the room I was in when you first saw me. It ... no. It's in Esther's room. It's lying on her bed. Yes, that's where I left it."
"Okay, when I see you in Miami I will have it."
The look on her face was a terrible thing to see.
In a whisper she said, "She went there to get that scarf!" Her voice was so small. "She told me she had seen it and couldn't forget it. She had told me she wanted that scarf."
"In a gesture of love, I'll bring it to you."
"Yes, I want to die holding it."
"You don't think I'm going to disappear, do you?"
"No, not at all."
"Keep yourself in check. I am. Whether I come back, that's the question." I said something under my breath. "But I'll try, try with all my might. This must be tested now."
I leaned over and took with her the liberty she'd taken with me.
I kissed her. Her passion passed through me completely. It burned in me.
Now in my heart I spoke the requisite words, Depart from me, all particles of this earthly body, yet do not return to where you belong, but await my command that you come together instantly when I would have you. I vanished.
At once the body dispersed, sending out a fine mist to all the inner surfaces of the plane, leaving a shimmering spray upon the leather, the windows, the ceiling.
I floated above, free, fully shaped and strong, and I looked down at the empty seat, and I saw the top of Rachel's head, and I heard her scream.
I rose up, through the plane. It was no harder than passing through anything else. But I felt the passing, I felt the shivering energy and heat of the plane, and then the plane shot onwards at such terrific velocity that I fell towards the earth as if I had weight. Down, down, through the dark until I swung free, spreading my arms, and moving towards:
Gregory. Find the Bones, Servant. Find your Bones. Look after the Bones.
In the wind, as always I glimpsed other souls. I saw them struggling to see me and to make themselves visible. I knew they sensed my vigor, my direction, and for a moment they flashed and glittered and blinked, and then they were gone. I had passed through them and their world, their horrid layer of smoke that surrounded the earth like the filth hanging over burning dung, and I sped forward, like singing, towards the Bones. Towards Gregory.