“I’ll leave it. Good luck.” And with that, she lifts her chin and strides away, her heels clicking across the floor as her long, graceful legs carry her toward the exit.
Fuck. Why do I feel like someone’s punched me square in the chest? Rage boils unchecked inside me, and I want to hit something.
I down my drink, and am about to make a hasty exit myself when Oliver approaches.
“How are things progressing with Macey?” he asks, planting himself on the bar stool next to me.
“Just fucking terrific,” I lie, poorly. I couldn’t wipe the grimace off my face right now if I tried.
“Sarcasm. Another defense mechanism?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Careful. I’ve already taken shit from Hale tonight, and now Macey. Do you really want to fuck with me right now?”
Oliver orders a bottle of beer when the bartender approaches, but I know this conversation is far from over. His nostrils are flared, and a vein throbs at the base of his neck. “Listen. For once in your goddamn life, listen to me.”
He’s never taken on a rough tone with me, never been anything over than jovial. My head is spinning. “What the fuck have I done to piss you off?” Suddenly it strikes me, and I let out a bark of laughter. “Don’t even tell me you’re pissed off I kicked you out of that scene with Macey?”
“Of course not. God, will you listen to yourself?” He sets his beer down on the bar top and turns to face me, his eyes locked on mine and his expression serious. “I’ve known you for years, Reece. I’ve listened to the rumors, I’ve watched you take subs into your private room. In all that time you’ve never once asked for my help. But then suddenly you did, and I knew Macey was different. Just like that. I could see it in the way you looked at her, in the careful way you were with her. It wasn’t a game to you. You touched her like her skin was something to be worshipped, like her body was the most precious thing to you. And you looked like you wanted to murder me when I touched her. This girl means something to you. Don’t try to deny it.”
“She did. A long time ago. Not now. Not anymore. Besides, Hale would never fucking allow it, so it doesn’t even matter.” Something tells me if she didn’t just walk away from me, it probably would have fucked up my friendship with him for good.
“I know you want everyone to see you as this successful business owner and in-control Dominant. And you are those things—no question. But what I see is a man running from his past.”
I want to scream at him, to tell him that he’s wrong, to knock him on his ass. But fuck, this is Oliver. He’s practically a therapist—a sex therapist, but whatever. The guy knows his shit. That’s why he works for me. It’s why his waiting list for new clients is more than six months long.
“Fight for her. Go after her, talk to her. I know she means something to you.”
“Yeah, but is it worth fucking up my friendship with Hale?”
He gazes at me like he feels sorry for me. “If she’s worth it, you’ll figure it out.”
I feel like someone stomped on my chest. It’s hard to breath, and even harder to see straight. “I have to go.” I don’t know where; I just know I need out of this suit and tie that’s trying to strangle me.
On my cab ride home, my mind is whirling. I consider texting Macey, just to check on her, to try to understand what I did wrong. All she wanted was a fun hookup, and I thought that’s exactly what I gave her. But then I realize texting would be a pussy move. I need to call her. Hear her voice.
It’s about to go to voice mail when she finally picks up.
“What do you want, Reece? I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Just wanted to check on you. Are you home?”
“Yes. I’m in bed with a bag of microwave popcorn, about to start that new thriller everyone’s been talking about.”
“Are you still mad?” I ask, holding my breath. She doesn’t seem mad. Then again, she did run out of her brother’s engagement party after confronting me. I’m beginning to realize I don’t understand the first thing about women.
“More like disappointed. Confused.”
“I take it there won’t be a third lesson.”
“No.” Her tone is final.
Something deep inside of me snaps, and I can’t tell if it’s disappointment or relief. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s my fault. I don’t know why I thought we could pick up where we left off. You’re right. You’re not that guy anymore.”
A little piece of my heart breaks hearing her say those words. It’s what I wanted, what I worked toward ever since she left, but now it seems I’ve locked my heart down so completely, I’m not even capable of giving her what she needs. Even when I need the exact same thing.
“Good night, Macey. Enjoy your movie.”
“Good-bye, Reece.”
Chapter Eleven
Reece
I hit the treadmill hard, pushing myself with my arms pumping, my lungs heaving with the need for oxygen. Loud, angry music blares in my ears. I’ve been fighting with myself for three days. I’ve hardly slept, I’ve hardly eaten, and I haven’t had any desire to take a submissive back to my playroom. I’m miserable all the time, and fuck if I know what to do about it.
Pressing the Incline button, I pump my legs faster to sprint up the hill to escape the recrimination playing inside my mind. Oliver’s words from the engagement party swim in my head. Macey’s defeated tone replays over and over. Hale’s anger. Shit, even Chrissy was shooting me evil glares that night once Macey stormed out.