I paced the room a bit, pulling my t-shirt over my head as I thought quickly about my plan. I made the mistake of peering her direction. She looked like she could eat me whole. “Don’t.” I laughed hysterically. “Just don’t, January.”
“I’m sorry,” she said as her attractive blush painted across her cheeks.
“Oh, God!” I said, panicked. I ran my hands through my hair over and over. “I’m a glutton for punishment! I’m a masochist! You’ve made me a masochist, J! I’ve been a lot of things but never a masochist.”
“You are not a masochist, dorkwad.”
“I am! I am because I’d rather suffer through this night and every night after with you by my side, so unbelievably attractive and so sexy as hell, and not be able to do anything than not have you here. That’s masochism, January.”
She sat up a little, her t-shirt pooling around her thighs. I had to look away. “And who said we couldn’t do anything?”
“Me.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a freaking virgin, January.”
“So?”
“Listen, you don’t just give that shit away especially to guys like me.”
“I happen to think you’re a pretty neat guy. Oh, yeah, and there’s the little fact that I’m in love with you.”
Those words soothed my aching, edgy soul and my breathing instantly steadied. “I love you too,” I told her.
“Then come here. I have something to give you.”
“No, I can’t, January. I can’t.”
“You don’t want it?” she asked, the hurt outlining her entire face.
I fell on the bed beside her. “January, I want it, probably more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life but not like this.”
“Then how?” she asked softly, her hand reaching up to rest on my face.
I took her left hand with my right and looked down at it, thumbing her ring finger. Her gaze followed mine and she realized what I’d meant. She nodded slightly, smiled sweetly and we settled into bed.
She, wrapped in my arms, and I, wrapped around the third finger of that left hand.
Chapter Ten
The Song Remains the Same
Thomas
The next morning, after we woke and I got January back into her room, I went to tell her we should get going and accidentally caught the tail end of a telephone conversation. That wasn’t all that bad and if I’d left as any normal person would have, giving her privacy, I’d probably be the happiest jackass this side of the Mississippi, but I didn’t do that. No, in a typical asshole Thomas move, I stuck around to listen in. That was bad, for many, many reasons and a move I was going to pay dearly for. Believe me.
“We’ll be in Stockholm tomorrow.” I heard her say over the phone, making my heart race and my skin panic. No, she’s not. She’s not.
“Probably around three in the afternoon by the looks of it,” she continued, then laughed. “No, he doesn’t suspect a thing.” My heart sank to my feet. “No, don’t even bother.” Don’t bother? “All right, love you too. Uh-huh. Tomorrow then.”
That’s when I discovered that I was a gullible bastard.
January
“We’ll be in Stockholm tomorrow,” I told my sister July.
“What time? So I know to tell Dad.”
“Probably around three in the afternoon by the looks of it.”
She paused. “Hey, has Tom figured out what a massive dork ass you are yet?”
“No, he doesn’t suspect a thing,” I teased, folding a scrap piece of paper in my lap.
I heard the front door open and close and knew it was my father returning home from work. He would expect his usual hourlong conversation if he found out I was on the phone, but I knew Tom was ready to leave soon. I reminded myself to call him later the next day.
“Do you have time to talk to Dad, actually? He just walked in,” July asked.
“No, don’t even bother.”
“Okay, I love you, January. Be careful over there. Should I tell Dad tomorrow then?
“All right, love you too. Uh-huh. Tomorrow then.”
Thomas
I should have told January that I saw Jonah the night before but I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess I was still letting a small piece of my insecurity control the rational side of my brain when it came to that fact. Truthfully, I wanted to know how he was finding out where we were and as much as I hated to admit it, her phone call made my heart ache. I hated to jump to conclusions, but that’s exactly what I was doing.
“I called The Great Remember up this morning,” I told her stoically as we made our way to see them. “Did I tell you that?” I asked, studying her reaction.
“Oh? Well, that’s a good idea, I suppose. What’d you say?” she asked, peering up into my face. She was so beautiful and innocent-looking. You're reading too much into that call, Tom.
“I just let them know our names, who we were, and that they could expect to see us after the show.”
“You didn’t tell them about Jonah?” she asked.
“No, should I have?”
“I don’t think so. I was just wondering.”
She grabbed my hand as we walked to the venue. Her thin fingers felt so cool to the touch, I absently brought them to my mouth and blew on them. She wouldn’t betray you. I told myself. You can’t fake sincerity like that...But, maybe she’s just playing you. Maybe she’s Jonah’s inside man...No fucking way! I argued with myself. January would never do that. She’s not capable. I’d bet my life on it.