On his terms.
My first instinct was to find Bishop, but if Stephen saw him with me I knew he’d leave and I’d never see him again.
I had to get my soul back on my own. Put the lid back on this box and keep it there. Then I’d be able to leave the city again, get past the barrier. Other people’s souls—including Bishop’s—wouldn’t drive me crazy with hunger. Everything would be better.
I could still fix this.
* * *
The Trinity Mall. Not my favorite place in the city.
Over three hundred stores on four levels, it was a shopping mall slash tourist destination. Trinity was huge enough to have a few malls, but this was the crown jewel right in the heart of downtown. I used to love coming here with Carly, shopping for hours on end, and having lunch in the food court downstairs, back when we both had regular-size appetites. We’d still gorge on the food—hamburgers, Chinese food, souvlaki, French fries, you name it. She’d complain about her slow metabolism and grumble about how I never gained a pound. I’d tell her she looked fine—because she always did whether she realized it or not. I should have told her how much I envied her curves.
But then I ran into some trouble here. After my parents’ divorce was finalized six months ago, I went on a bit of a shoplifting spree. Or, as my guidance counselor put it, “a cry for attention.”
It was never much, just enough to give me a rush of excitement that I was getting away with something. That I wasn’t being perfect, or good, or coloring inside the lines like everyone had told me to all my life. Instead of focusing on being a perfect student and getting all As, I got a lipstick. A scarf. A leather wallet. I knew it was wrong even as I shoved them in my pocket or under my shirt. I didn’t try to justify it as something I needed that I couldn’t afford. I could afford it. My father felt enough guilt over the divorce and his move across the ocean that my monthly allowance, written on checks with his gold-stamped law firm logo in the corner, were so big I didn’t even need to apply for part-time jobs. I mean, I couldn’t buy a car or anything major, but for the necessities of life, I could get what I needed.
Getting caught had been mortifying in so many ways. No charges were laid, but my humiliation was witnessed by several kids from school. The cop had been a jerk to me, treating me like a total juvie and a spoiled brat. I’d sat in the back of a cop car for an hour, and only through sheer will had I avoided having the anxiety attack I always got in enclosed spaces. I’d closed my eyes and breathed in and out, pretending to be somewhere, anywhere else.
My penance for my short life of crime was to do some community service. I worked in the kitchen at a local mission and had the chance to interact with people who really had it bad while I had never appreciated how good I had it. I had a home, a roof over my head and a mother who loved me. I’d met homeless people who had nothing and nobody.
It was the most important lesson of my life. Be grateful for what you have, since it can be taken away at any time. Sometimes fate steps in to pull the rug from beneath your feet whether you’re prepared or not—and we all fall differently.
I now regretted my month of shoplifting, and not just because I’d been caught. I knew it was wrong and I’d done it for stupid reasons. Not that there was ever a good reason to steal.
But I still hated this mall. I usually shopped at the one on the north side of the city. Took longer to get there, but at least the floors weren’t tiled with my shame.
Past Macy’s and a lineup of other stores that at one time would have been calling my name were the escalators up to the fourth floor. I wasn’t a fan of the elevators due to my claustrophobia. I didn’t even like wearing turtlenecks.
At the moment, I didn’t need any more anxiety than I already had.
The railing curved in a circle around the open center of the fourth floor and looked down into the main floor food court a hundred feet below. A massive chandelier of crystal birds hung from the glass ceiling, a piece by some artist that had cost a ton of money when the mall opened twenty years ago. When the sun from the skylights hit it just right—it was magic.
I gripped the railing and gazed down nervously at the food court. Despite my big breakfast, my stomach grumbled. Sundays were a busy day at the mall. There were thousands of people here, and I swear I sensed the press, the heat and the scent of every one of their souls.
I couldn’t stay here for very long. Already, I felt the need to escape.
“You’re here.”
Stephen’s voice bit through my concentration and I tensed, turning slowly to see him leaning against the railing six feet to my left.
This was real. He was here. I’d finally found him.
Or, rather, he’d found me.
Stay calm.
But that was a losing proposition. I couldn’t be calm around Stephen Keyes.
A very short time ago I thought he was the hottest guy I’d ever seen, in Trinity or anywhere else. Black hair, cinnamon-colored eyes with a slight exotic slant to them thanks to his Hawaiian-born mother.
Stephen only dated the most beautiful girls. I never expected to be one of them. I preferred to admire him from afar and keep my heart safe from being trampled on. But...then he kissed me. And he’d hurt more than just my heart.
For a fleeting moment, I’d honestly thought the boy I’d always had a crush on had been into me. Instead, he’d been on assignment for my aunt to remove my soul and free my nexus abilities so they could be used for her gain.
I had no interest in someone like Stephen who would lie to me, use me and steal something so valuable from me. And I never would again. While Bishop had sworn to help me, and I did believe he meant it despite my many doubts and questions about him, the only person I completely trusted was the one I saw in the mirror.