My panicked gaze shot to his. “But where can I go if I’m dead?”
He drew closer and patted my cheek. “It won’t be much longer now. Angel, demon, light, dark. Even gray. Their destiny is already decided. Soon. Very soon.”
“But I don’t understand.”
“You do. You just don’t want to yet.”
“Wait, I don’t—”
But then the wasteland slipped away. Seth vanished. And everything went black again.
A moment later, my eyes shot wide-open and I sat bolt upright, gasping for breath.
I was in the dark living room again, on the couch where I’d died. I frantically searched the shadows to find Bishop.
He was there. Sitting with his back against the wall, his eyes glazed. Only the light from the moon and streetlamp shining through the window allowed me to see him.
“Bishop...” I began.
“Couldn’t save you, couldn’t heal you. You died in my arms.”
“I’m not dead.”
He shook his head back and forth. “I hear you, but you’re not here. Memories haunt me now—like they always have. Always, forever. I’m okay with that, when it’s you. Haunt me, Samantha. Haunt me till the end. The very end.”
His voice was low and hollow. The sound of it sent a chill straight through me. And his words, his tone—he’d completely lost his mind.
My heart broke for him, for his pain, knowing that I was the one to cause it.
“Couldn’t save you,” he muttered. “Couldn’t save you. It was too late. I failed you. I failed you and now you’re gone.”
My body ached as I gingerly pushed myself up to a sitting position.
“I’m not dead,” I said again, stronger this time.
When he laughed, the sharp sound cut through the dark room. “Saw you die. Watched you die. You’re gone and now you haunt me.” He inhaled raggedly and squeezed his eyes shut. “Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.”
I shakily got to my feet and moved toward him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me as I approached. The devastation mixed with glazed insanity in his eyes tore me up inside.
I crouched next to him. When I reached out to him, he cringed away from me, and averted his gaze toward the window.
“Bishop.” Fear made my throat so thick it was nearly impossible to speak. “Look at me.”
I didn’t accept that he’d completely lost it. He believed that he could save me right until the moment it was too late, so I wasn’t giving up on him. I didn’t think I’d ever give up on him.
I wasn’t losing him. Even if he’d already lost himself.
“I wanted to save you,” he whispered.
“I know.” I moved closer to him until I was only inches away. “And now I want to save you.”
I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him.
Electricity sparked between us, visible sparks—but it didn’t hurt. It felt good. It felt better than it ever had before.
This was pure magic.
I was meant to kiss Bishop like this.
His tense muscles finally began to relax. I thought he would pull back, but instead he pulled me hard against him and deepened the kiss, holding nothing back.
I’d always mocked those movies where the characters kissed like this—such passion, such desperation between them as if they would die if they stopped.
I wouldn’t be mocking them anymore. No way.
When Bishop finally pulled back a little, there was surprise in his wide, blue eyes—but the fog of insanity had lifted.
Relief filled me. It hadn’t been too late—for either of us.
“You’re alive,” he managed.
“I am.”
“You kissed me.”
“I sure did.”
“And—” his brows drew together with confusion ”—you’re not sucking my soul out through my mouth. Although, with a kiss like that it would have been very worth it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh nervously. “This is going to sound really strange, but I think part of me stayed dead. That was my stasis. And I didn’t survive it.”
Confusion crossed his gaze. “You’re very lucid for a zombie.”
I didn’t understand any of this, but I knew there were two outcomes to stasis. Death or total evil. Unless this was one big illusion, this was neither. “Luckily, I’m not a zombie. But...the gray parts of me did die—the hunger, the chills.”
Clarity shone in his gaze. “If you weren’t a nexus, the rest of you would have stayed dead, too.”
“I think so.” I nodded, stunned. “But I’m back.”
He pressed his fingertips to my throat to check my pulse. I definitely had one. He shook his head. “So I’m completely insane now. That must be it.”
“Nope, you’re not. Trust me. But we can’t argue about it any longer. We have to get to the party. The team needs their leader.”
Bishop took my face gently between his hands, touching me as if he couldn’t believe I was actually here, with a heartbeat, back from the dead, not a zombie, and I could be near him without his soul making me crazy.
“This is completely unbelievable to me,” he whispered.
He didn’t say it in a “this is a miracle! Hallelujah!” way. More of a “what’s the catch?” I’d been thinking the exact same thing, which helped dampen my joy of being finally relieved of my gray hunger.