“I’ll keep that in mind,” I promised as I headed out to the floor.
I moved with the music, away from the reaching hands of the guys around me, until I felt his gaze. I looked over to the bar and found him watching me, his eyes hot with undisguised want. Maybe I moved my hips just to see if those eyes would narrow. Maybe I felt a little surge of power when he ran his tongue over his lower lip.
Sex had never been our problem. Trust…that was the deal breaker.
He pushed off the bar and headed toward me, abandoning his latest conquest to the other Renegades. My heart thundered and my breath sped as my fight-or-flight response kicked in.
Flight won.
I spun on my wedges and damn near ran for the door. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation, let alone in front of the cameras that would no doubt love to put this into their clubbing sequence. My mangled heart wasn’t up for public consumption, thank you.
“Hey, are you leaving?” Leah asked as she stepped out of the elevator I was desperate to get into.
“I have to. I can’t be here. Not with him,” I explained, almost regretting my choice when her shoulders slumped.
“Okay. I understand. Coffee in the morning?” she asked.
Coffee. Our morning routine since we’d started Dartmouth. The one thing that had kept us both grounded, both ready to face another day. I squeezed her hands and gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile. “Absolutely.”
When Landon burst through the crowd, my cowardice got the best of me. “Tomorrow,” I promised, then stepped back and hit the button to close the door.
I’d won this elevator battle, but not before I saw the brunette chase after him.
He raked his hands through his hair as the doors shut, and I closed my eyes to the pleading in his.
Even with Penna’s words in my head, I still didn’t see a way that I could open myself up to Landon enough to even hear what he had to say. I was the opposite of Penna in that regard—I might have pushed the envelope on every stunt, but when it came to my emotions, I chose self-preservation over understanding.
Unfortunately, I also knew that Landon was a persistent guy.
And when it came to self-preservation, he was the most reckless of them all.
Chapter Seven
Landon
At Sea
The woman was impossible.
I couldn’t remember a time when I’d had less pride than the last two days, trying to track her down. We had two classes together, so I thought it would be easy, but she left as soon as we were dismissed and dodged my every attempt to see her. She’d gone so far as to leave the table in the cafeteria when I sat down to eat, which was almost laughable, because I knew how much that girl loved her food.
It was like she didn’t even care that I was on board, yet my every waking moment was consumed with caring that she was. That would have been enough to send me into a tailspin of rejection, but the way she made sure we were never in the same room—except for classes—told me that she cared enough to always know where I was.
Maybe it was grasping at straws, but it was all that I had.
I checked my watch and cursed. Running late for a production meeting was about to get me on Pax’s shit list. My mind had wandered to Rachel while I was on the treadmill, and before I knew it another three miles had gone by as I plotted. Not that I was arguing with extra cardio. I had to be in the best shape of my life for Nepal, but now I was definitely not on time.
“Sorry I’m late!” I yelled down the hall as I shut the door to the suite.
“Get your ass in here!” Pax yelled.
“I’m all sweaty, let me shower,” I said, coming into the dining room where the staff had gathered around the table.
“I don’t care if you’re covered in baby oil. Put your ass in the chair,” Pax said, pointing to my empty seat.
“Okay, okay, I’m here,” I said, taking my chair and trying to focus. Bobby sat at the head of the table, while Pax took the center—he liked to be able to reach every map and picture that lay spread out in front of him. Penna and I took up the other side, while a few of the other Renegades and camera-crew members stood or sat around us.
“I’m really not sure why I’m here,” Penna mumbled, folding her hands in her lap.
“Because you’re banged up, not fucking dead, Penna,” Pax snapped. “You’re still a Renegade.”
“You sure I should be?”
“Later,” he hissed at her.
“Don’t fight in front of the kids,” I said, leaning forward to see the pictures of Sri Lanka, our next destination. “Where were we?”
Pax ripped his hands over his hair. “Okay. We have three days in Sri Lanka. Day one is taken up by field excursions for class. Who has them?”
A collection of hands went up. The hardest part about filming the documentary while we were on the Study at Sea program was definitely working everything around our class load.
Terms were simple: if we failed, we were off the boat and out of the documentary.
I raised my hand, knowing that I had an excursion to Gal Viharaya, but at least I’d be with Rachel. Whether I could get her to talk to me would be another matter.
“Okay, I think we all have one,” Pax muttered, flipping through the folder. “We have permits for the hang gliding stunt off Sigiriya, but I can tell you that it was a very reluctant permit and it’s a pretty sacred site. We’ll be watched, and since I really don’t want to spend any more time in a jail cell this trip, let’s mind our p’s and q’s.”