“Why? I slept with my professor, dance on bars, and apply at strip clubs. I’m not the kind of girl you need.” I wasn’t Grace and never would be.
“Well, you’re the only girl I want.”
My heart cracked, flayed open in front of him…for him. But could I do this for only six months? Could I try? Trust? Hold him far enough away to salvage whatever he didn’t take of my heart when it was over? But could I forgive myself if I didn’t take the gamble? Let him walk away?
No.
I took the three of hearts and put it face up on the table. “I only sleep on the left side of the bed.”
He cocked an eyebrow.
“That’s a selfish fact,” I warned. “Not an invitation.”
“I’d sleep on the floor to get closer to you.”
I was so fucked.
Chapter Fourteen
Grayson
I executed the roll-on landing with precision and tensed my hand to keep from fist-pumping. Fucking perfect.
I taxied and parked us, then started the shut-down.
“Good flight,” Mr. Stewmon, my instructor pilot said as we walked off the flight line. Stewmon was a retired CW5, pushing fifty with a stocky build, and wouldn’t hesitate to kick my ass if I screwed up.
He was more than a little terrifying and quizzed us mercilessly during debriefs.
“Did I kick your ass? I did, didn’t I?” Jagger asked with a cocky grin once we were headed toward the car.
“No.” Stewmon answered as he came up behind us. “You didn’t. Study up and have a nice night, lieutenants.” He waved his dismissal.
“So what’s up with you and Sam?” Jagger asked once we were headed home.
Shit. We hadn’t exactly labeled “us” in the last two weeks.
“Man, you can try to ignore the question, but I’m still going to ask it until you answer.” Why was he always grinning?
He stayed silent, even as we rolled out of the gate, but his eyes stayed on me. I knew Jagger. He’d wait me out. Prying, cocky friend that he was.
“I’m not sure,” I finally answered.
“Is she sure?”
“What? Did she say something? What did she tell you?” Holy shit. I’d gone back to junior high. “Never mind.”
He had the nerve to laugh. “No. But it’s not like we haven’t noticed you guys sneaking out on Friday nights. And the way you two orbit around each other? You’re definitely something.”
I swallowed. Orbit. That was the word for it. She was the Earth, full of life, raging rivers, erupting volcanoes, mysterious oceans, and breathtaking views. I was a satellite in her orbit, witnessing from a distance while she bloomed.
Damn, I loved to watch her shine.
“She’s doing great, isn’t she? Nailing her classes, holding down a job, helping Avery out with her summer school.” She’d seemed lighter, like laying her cards on that table had physically unburdened her.
“She is,” Jagger agreed. “I think you bring out the best in each other.”
“I’m not sure I have a best.”
“Okay, then she makes you less statue, more human.”
“Ha, ha.” I debated, then went for it. “We’re…exploring the possibility of an ‘us.’ Slowly.”
“What’s holding you back?” Jagger asked as we crossed the Enterprise line.
I glanced at him sideways and back to the road.
“Oh, come on. You watched me break down when I almost lost Paisley, and you pretty much held me together. I’m not going to judge.”
I nearly snorted. “No one is as harsh on me as I am. You don’t scare me.”
“Yeah, well you scare everyone. Well, everyone but Sam, but she’s fucking fearless.”
The corners of my mouth lifted. “She is.” Fearless, passionate, strong, tender…and mine, if I would just reach for her instead of dancing around what we now knew we both wanted. I was running out of reasons not to.
“So about that Fourth-of-July trip we were talking about,” he said while looking anywhere but at me. “I may have rented a beach house in Nags Head for the weekend.”
“Right.”
“You’re cool with it?”
“I’m not thrilled, but I’m not ready to kill you over it.” I was a little nauseous about my parents finding out exactly what I’d been up to, though. “I’d really like you guys to not mention what we’re doing here though, and not ask why.”
“I know you like to keep shit separate. Come hang when you can, and when you can’t, just be…you know…you. We’re not going to be pissed.”
“Who is this we?” I asked.
He cleared his throat. “Josh and Ember are going to Colorado to see her family, so it’s you, me, Paisley, Sam, Morgan, Carter—”
I hit the brakes a little too hard at the red light just to toss him against his seat belt. “You invited Carter?” I nearly growled as I took off at the green light.
“Morgan insisted. Said he was lonely or some bullshit. So now I get to vacation with my girlfriend’s ex. It’s glorious.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “He’s really not all that bad.”
Okay, that earned a half smile. “He’s growing on me. Josh?”
Jagger laughed and shook his head. “Hell no. Those two glare at each other more than high-school girls.”
We pulled into the driveway, and I nearly bolted to the door when I saw Sam’s car. Relax, it’s only been ten hours. I tossed my keys as I walked in the door and Jagger sang out, “Honey, we’re home!”