A peculiar expression came across the Tiger’s face before surprise. “Hey, you’re Josh Walker!”
If I hadn’t been watching Josh so closely, I would have missed the quick jaw clench. “Yeah. Nice to meet you.”
The guy turned around, revealing his last name of Cedar on his jersey. “Lugawski, Hamilton! This is Josh Walker!”
“No way!” the other players skated over.
“Dude, you were, like, phenomenal! We’ve watched your tapes!”
I cringed at the “were.” Crowded by three padded hockey players, I suddenly felt very tiny, but very defensive of Josh. “He’s still pretty phenomenal.”
Josh backed me out and nodded to the guys. “Thanks again for the ice.”
“You still play?” Cedar asked, skating over as Josh moved me toward the door.
“Yeah, for UCCS,” he answered.
“Man! If Coach had known you were all healed up, he would have come calling. He’s always been a big fan of yours. How did he lose you to Boulder?”
Healed up? When had Josh been hurt? I’d never heard anything about him being injured during a game, but he’d left Boulder the year before I got there. His hand tightened around mine like he was holding something back.
Josh laughed. I wondered if anyone else realized it wasn’t a real laugh, or if I was just that tuned to him. “Full ride to CU. I couldn’t afford you guys, and your roster was too stacked my freshman year to afford me. Stars just didn’t align.”
Cedar shook his head. “Man, we would have been lucky to have you. When did you start playing again?”
“Just this last year.”
“Damn shame about your leg. But thank you. You’re a hero to the rest of us.”
Josh took his outstretched hand and shook it. “Nothing to thank me for. Just doing my part.” His voice dropped so low I had to strain to hear what he’d said.
“Still, it’s fucking amazing.”
Man, these guys had a serious case of hockey-player hero worship.
“Cedar!” Another player called him back.
“Yeah!” He turned back to Josh. “Listen, if you’re ever at a game, let me know.”
Josh gave a tight-lipped smile. “Absolutely. We’re going to get out of your hair. You guys look good this year.” With another handshake, he pulled me off the ice, and I walked toward the bleachers with awkward, clunky steps. Skates did nothing for my poise.
I barely had my skates untied when Josh knelt in front of me, tension coming off him in radioactive waves. With more gentleness than I expected, he brushed my hands aside and had my skates off before I could blink. He was so intent on his task, I didn’t bother to tell him I could put on my own shoes. He slid my flats onto my feet and helped me stand.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I tossed one more glance at the black-and-gold clad team warming up. “Man, they’re good.”
Without looking back, he gently led me out of the ice hall. “They’re the best.”
Something was incredibly wrong with him. I hurried my steps to match his, coming in under his arm. He pulled me in.
Outside the rink, the cool air hit my face, and I took a deep breath. Josh opened my door and saw me safely inside the Jeep, but he didn’t get in right away. He walked around to his side, but then leaned back against the door, tugging his hair through his hands for a moment before leaning over. My first instinct screamed to go to him, but the vibe he was putting out said it was best for me to stay where he put me.
His head came back up, and he rested it briefly on the window before taking what looked like a huge breath and steadying himself. Then he opened the door, slipped inside, and gave me a smile. “Good first date?”
“Don’t do that.”
His eyes flashed a warning that I sailed right by. “Don’t treat me like I’m somebody else and hide from me.”
He gave a half sigh, half laugh. “I deserved that.”
I pointed to the arena. “That’s what you wanted.”
“Yes.” His hands dug into the soft leather of his steering wheel. “You weren’t the only one with plans.” I reached over and laid my hand on his thigh, needing to touch him. He closed his eyes, something akin to pain wracking his features.
He threw open his eyes, turned the radio up, and pulled out of the ice arena. He held my hand between changing gears, but didn’t speak the whole way home. God, I had been so self-absorbed. Yes, I had lost my father and the plans I’d made, but while I had been wrapped up in my family and my own life, I hadn’t paused to see that my tragedy wasn’t the only one around me. People lost their dreams every day.
He pulled the Jeep into his parking spot and hurried around to open my door. We both knew he didn’t have to, but he lowered me from my seat to the ground carefully, like I was something precious.
“You wanted to be a Tiger?” I asked, trying to get him to talk to me. I couldn’t be the only one to give away my secrets. I wanted to know everything about him, especially the parts he kept so carefully hidden from everyone else.
He unlocked the door to our building and waited until we were inside to speak. “Yeah. One of the happiest days of my life was when I was accepted to CC. But we couldn’t afford it, and CU gave me a full ride. So I went to Boulder.”
“And you were hurt? I never knew about it.”
He punched the elevator button with his finger. “It was off-season and not very big news.”