He walked me to the garage and around the side of our Jeep Grand Cherokee before opening the door for me and helping me in. “Why aren’t we taking the Bimmer?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I like the idea of being in an SUV instead of a car right now.”
When he scooted into the driver’s seat, he reached for my seat belt first, fastening it around my stomach before putting on his own. I focused on my breathing, paranoid that another contraction could come at any minute.
I pulled out my phone, which I’d managed to grab on my way out the door, and typed a group text to my mom, Gran, Dean, and Melissa.
On our way to the hospital. Water broke. Text you when I get settled and know our room number.
“I can’t believe this is really happening. I mean, of course I knew it would happen eventually, but it’s weird.” I breathed slowly in and out as Jack drove through our gated neighborhood.
“How so?” he asked, resting a hand on my knee.
“I don’t know. It’s like I got so used to being this enormous beast that I guess at some point I figured I’d always be this way. Like I’d be pregnant forever. But now that my water broke, it’s like holy shit, we’re going to have a baby! I don’t know what to do with a baby,” I squeaked out, starting to freak out. Jack laughed at my irrationality. “Don’t laugh at me, damn it. It’s not like you’ll even be around.”
That stopped Jack’s laughter immediately. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny.”
“You want me to quit baseball? I’ll fucking quit tomorrow,” he offered, his tone serious.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Of course I don’t want you to quit baseball. But don’t make fun of me when I’m freaking out, Jack. ‘Cause I’m freaking out,” I admitted. “I’m scared. I don’t know what to do with babies.”
“You’ll be great, Kitten. You’ll be amazing. And if you end up needing help, we’ll hire a nanny. Hell, I’ll hire you one for every day of the week if it helps. Whatever makes you happy.”
“I do not want someone else raising our child! Are you crazy?” I started to yell. “It’s not like I’m working anymore, so there’s no reason I should need a freaking nanny to help me be a mom.”
“Fine. No nanny.” He glanced at me and then focused on the road. “It’s funny how things work out, though.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was so unhappy about the trade at first, you know? But look at how it all worked out. You ended up being pregnant and we got to move home. Most of the guys aren’t that lucky.”
“Most of the guys don’t want to be that lucky. They like having their wives and kids in other cities. That way they can cheat without getting caught,” I snapped.
“Whoa. Pregnancy’s changed you.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” He glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, surprised that I was completely in agreement, and I laughed. “I feel like a crazy person. Get this thing out of me.”
He squeezed my thigh. “You have Gran and your mom,” he said, then paused and added, “And Melissa. And my brother. We have a whole team here ready to help.”
“You’re right,” I said, starting to settle down. “You’re absolutely right. I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’m just freaking out ‘cause I’ve never done this before.”
“I sure hope not.”
Another contraction ripped through me, causing me to gasp.
“Kitten?” Jack’s voice pleaded for a response, but I was too busy counting and trying not to hold my breath. When it ended, I unclenched his hand and he shook it out; apparently I’d been crushing his fingers. “I really don’t like when you get those.”
He fidgeted behind the steering wheel, his left knuckles almost white from his grip on it. “How bad do they hurt?” he asked, and then quickly changed his mind. “No. Don’t tell me. I can’t fucking handle hearing how much pain you’re in.” He huffed as he shook his head, changing his mind. “No. Tell me. What kind of man doesn’t want to know how much pain his wife is in? The kind who can’t do anything about it!” He slammed his hand against the wheel, his seesawing emotions clearly torturing him.
“Jack, stop. They aren’t that bad, okay? They’re just like sharp cramps. It’s mostly uncomfortable,” I lied. The contractions were getting stronger and longer, but Jack was right. There wasn’t anything he could do for my pain and I didn’t want him flipping out about it. It hurt me to see him react so defensively when it came to me. I reserved the right to protect my man the same way he wanted to protect me. And this was how I could do that, by avoiding the truth.
Jack glanced over at me, his face full of love and concern before he looked at the road again. “I can’t just sit here next to you while you’re gasping in pain and do nothing. It goes against everything I feel for you. It’s my job to keep you safe and protected. I know it’s illogical for me to think I can stop your labor pains, but my heart fucking feels like it’s going to explode when I hear the sounds you’re making. You being in pain doesn’t fucking work for me, Kitten. It rips me in two the second it starts. It goes against every fiber of my being to sit there and pretend like I don’t want to save you. I’d rather break my own hand again than know you’re hurting.”
I smiled, comforted by the depth of this man’s love for me. “I understand completely and I love you for it. It’s sexy as hell the way you love me, Jack. But I promise, I’m okay.”