But I can’t stop thinking about her.
Katia.
My Wife.
A wife that I wanted to kiss so badly—too badly. I felt something deep in my heart, something I hadn’t felt right up until that moment. I knew I’d fallen for her, but this was something more, something deeper. Now I can’t get her from my mind. I can’t stop thinking that we could be a family, that maybe things could be better.
Deep down, I know they can’t.
I can’t stay married to her, and it’s not even because I don’t want to remain that way. It’s because it’s wrong. Our entire marriage was built on a foundation of lies, and it’s unsteady and dangerous. I have to divorce her. I have to break the binding ties that started this in the first place.
I don’t know how she’ll take it. I don’t know if she’ll see it the way I do. Either way, it has to be done. A soft sound snaps me out of my thoughts and I turn to see Penny staring over at me, her eyes sleepy and heavy. Shit. She’s so fucking beautiful. I’ve never seen anything so perfect in my life. I turn and walk over. My heart throbs, my body tingles and I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next.
“Hey Penny,” I say softly.
She makes a pained sound and lifts her arms in the air, chubby fists waving back and forth. She wants me to pick her up?
My hands tremble as I lean down, putting my fingers under her armpits and gently lifting her. She’s so light, so tiny. I’m careful of her drip line as I cradle her in my arms. She stares up at me for a moment, before her face cracks into the biggest, most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
And I know, I just know . . . I’ll never be the same again.
~*~*~*~
KATIA
It’s been two days since Penny went to hospital, and she’s finally home. It’s been draining; Marcus and I have had to swap times so we could rest. We made sure one of us was by her side every second. She’s taken to him, and every time I see him smile at her, or her giggle at him, my heart melts just a little bit more. They’re perfect together.
I can’t say I always knew they would be, because that would be a lie. I never thought I’d see them like this. I never thought I’d see him like this—so free, so happy, so in love. He adores her; it’s written all over his face. He’s constantly touching her, constantly making her laugh. It’s beautiful. Truly beautiful.
Now I’m home, and I don’t know where we go from here. He’s at his house, I’m at Ford’s . . . we’re separated and I really don’t know where this leaves us. How often will he want to see her? Will we have to work out custody arrangements? Will we get back together? Do I want to get back together? It’s all too confusing, sending me over the edge.
I have to talk to him. I guess that’s truly the only way.
I pull out my phone as soon as I’ve put Penny down for the night. I know he’s probably tired, probably sleeping, but this needs to be done and for my sanity, I need it done now. I dial his number and hold my breath, praying I’m not waking him up.
“Yeah?” he answers in a gruff, yet not groggy tone.
“Marcus, hey.”
“Katia.”
I swallow. He always manages to have this affect on me, even after everything. With one word, he renders me speechless.
“Katia?”
“Sorry,” I finally whisper. “Marcus, can we talk?”
“Now?”
“If you have time.”
He’s silent for a moment. “Can you come around? Not sure Ford will want me there.”
“Ah . . . Penny is asleep . . .”
“Right, don’t wake her.”
“Hang on.”
I pull the phone from my ear and walk to the door. “Hey, Ford?”
He comes out of his room, shirtless and panting from yet another workout. “Yeah?”
“Penny is sleeping. I need to go and see Marcus for a few hours. Is she okay here while I’m gone?”
“Of course she is!”
My eyes widen as Candy pops her head around the door. Then my mouth drops open. He was sweating and panting from a workout.
“Candy!” I cry.
She grins. “Sorry. You fucked my boss, I fucked your brother. It’s only fair, right?”
I bite my bottom lip. Her smile gets bigger. Ford groans and looks at the ceiling.
“Ah, right, well . . . sure.”
“And don’t worry.” She winks at Ford. “We’re done for now. I’ll watch Penny.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
I nod, still staring at her in shock. With a shake of my head, I put the phone to my ear. “I’m all yours.”
I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I close my eyes and curse softly.
“Do you want me to come and get you?” Is that a hint of amusement in his voice?
“No, I’ll drive.”
“Okay.”
I hang up and roll my eyes. Could I be anymore pathetic? I quickly get dressed, go over everything with Candy, chew on her ass for another ten minutes about Ford, then I kiss Penny goodbye and drive over to Marcus’s house. Our old home. A place where so much darkness unraveled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
KATIA
My entire body is shaking as I knock on the door.
I don’t know what’s about to happen, and I don’t know how this is going to go down. All I know is that we need to figure this out once and for all so we can all move on with our lives. Together or apart. I fiddle with the necklace around my neck as I wait for Marcus to answer. When he does, my breath catches. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of exercise pants, a light sheen of sweat over his chest and abs.