What we both realized as our fingers bit into each other’s skin was that we already had it.
A connection no one could break.
“I love you,” I whimpered against his lips.
“I love you too.”
His words were a trigger, and my shout of release was swallowed in his kiss, followed quickly by his groan reverberating in mine as the pulsing clench of my climax around his cock wrenched his orgasm from him.
I collapsed in his arms, my face buried against his neck, and I felt his soft lips kiss my shoulder. He gently threaded his fingers through my hair to clasp my nape and brought my head back. I looked into the face I loved more than any other and wondered when I’d stop kicking myself for prolonging this moment.
“I was too long without you,” he said, sounding pained.
I brushed my fingers tenderly along his cheeks, still scratchy with bristle. “Never again,” I promised. “I’ve never been this happy.” It scared the hell out of me, but I wouldn’t run from it.
And I knew he was thinking the same thing.
Aidan Lennox and I never seemed to make sense on paper. He was older, worldlier, and more experienced.
Good thing I finally found the sense to rip that paper into little pieces that I then set alight.
Until it was nothing but dust floating in the wind.
Being only a child the last time I’d stood on stage, I’d forgotten how difficult it was to see the faces in the dark audience through the blaze of stage lights. It was impossible on a stage like the one at the Tollcross Theatre, and the realization startled me a little when I first stepped out during dress rehearsal.
I was prepared for it on opening night.
However, I wasn’t prepared for the colossal waves of nervousness in my gut or the way I’d needed Aidan more than I’d anticipated. Unfortunately, he was working on a studio album after he’d finalized the score for our show. We didn’t have an orchestra, just a sound guy who cued the digital music on a computer and sound system.
Since there was a piece of his creativity in the show, and the fact that it was my first performance, Aidan had promised to be there, but he couldn’t get away from the studio long enough to escort me to the play. He’d said he’d be in the audience.
I was disappointed but I understood. For the first few weeks of our reconciliation, he’d put so much of his work on hold to be with me. It wasn’t fair to pout now that he was getting back to the work he loved.
In the end, I pulled it together and forced myself onto that stage, with Jack murmuring jokes in my ear to calm me.
Before I knew it, the play was almost over, our words having disappeared into the dark of the audience even though it had been two and a half hours including a ten-minute intermission. The layers of cotton and leather I wore, resembling a mash-up of Mad Max meets steampunk, meant I was sweating under the stage lights. And I longed for Aidan to be there after my first real performance. But all these thoughts were tucked in the recesses of my mind so that Viola’s thoughts and feelings and actions could move me across the stage.
I was Viola kissing Duke Orsino, not Nora kissing Jack.
I was Viola taking Orsino’s hand as he asked to see me in my own clothes and not Cesario’s. I was Viola as I clung to his side and told him that my friend the Captain had my clothing but that he was in prison because of Malvolio.
And that was it.
That was my last line.
I almost couldn’t believe it.
Still, I continued to act, reacting to the words of my fellow players until finally Orsino said his last line and we, except for Clown, left the stage. Clown’s monologue drifted offstage as we quietly waited for him to bring the play to a close.
“‘But that’s all one, our play is done, and we’ll strive to please you every day.’”
Silence.
Then the uproarious applause that brought a huge grin to my face. I turned to find Quentin standing with us now, grinning back at me. He looked to us all. “Bravo, my miscreants. Bravo.”
I laughed, remembering the sound of the audience’s laughter throughout the performance. Of the little noises of surprise they made, their claps and cheers as the comedy progressed.
They liked us.
Jack grabbed my hand and led me back on stage where the flood of applause hit me like a wave crashing over my head. I was stunned until Jack bowed, and still holding my hand took me with him.
We’d rehearsed this part too.
Jane and Hamish stepped forward and bowed.
Then Jack and I to a thunder of clapping.
And so on as the other actors took their applause.
Quentin’s turn came. After he’d bowed, he stepped back, and we all bowed once more together as the curtain came down on us.
Excitement and chatter buzzed around me as my cast members congregated momentarily on stage. I wanted to cheer with them. I did.
However, more than anything, I wanted to celebrate this moment with my friends and family. Hugging my fellow players as briefly as possible, I managed to get off the stage without being rude and made my way to my dressing room where I’d told my loved ones to meet me afterward.
I was in the room but a moment, having wiped off as much stage makeup as possible much to the relief of my skin, when there was a knock. The door opened to reveal Seonaid’s head. “Can we come in?”
“Of course!”
“Ahhh!” she screamed, barging in and throwing herself into my arms. She danced and jiggled me around, laughing. Then she shoved me away playfully. “You didn’t tell me you were bloody awesome!”
I thought my face might break from grinning so hard. “Did you think so?” My eyes flew to Roddy and Angie … and my mother.
“Mom,” I whispered, tears in my eyes.
It still made me emotional that she flew all the way over to see me perform in an amateur production.
She strode forward and hugged me. “I’m so proud of you. You were amazing.” She pulled back and cupped my face in her hands. Concern pinched her features. “How on earth did you handle all this with your school exams too?”
It was such a motherly thing to say, I wanted to burst into tears. Who was this woman? Seriously! I laughed, hugging her again. “I can handle it,” I promised.
And I had.
It wasn’t only Aidan who’d been busy lately, what with my first-year exams only a few weeks ago. It hadn’t been easy to juggle studying, the play, and getting closer to the man I loved, but it all made me so endlessly happy …
Angie drew me into her arms as soon as my mom stepped back. “Ye were wonderful. I’m so proud of ye.”
My arms tightened around her. “Thank you, Angie.”
When she let me go, Roddy approached wearing that little smirk of his. “Aye, ye werenae bad.”
“Werenae bad?” I raised an eyebrow. “Faint praise indeed.”
“Well,” he hooked an arm around my neck and drew me into him with a grin, “wouldnae want ye gettin’ a big heid an flyin’ off tae Hollywood, no’ wid we?”
Giggling at his ridiculousness, I shook my head. “You thought I was good.”
“You were brilliant.” Seonaid shook her head in amazement, looking teary all of a sudden. “You really were.”
Feeling overwhelmed and emotional, I waved her off. “Stop, or I’ll cry.”
She shared a laugh with Angie, while my mom smiled and Roddy rolled his eyes.
And I realized we were all alone. I stiffened, feeling disappointment grow in my belly. “Where’s Aidan?”
A rap on the door sounded, and that horrible feeling fled as his head appeared around it. “He’s here, Pixie.” He smiled fondly, but he didn’t come into the room. “But, eh …,” his eyes flew to Seonaid, “would you mind giving us privacy?”
Something about the way he said it made Seonaid’s eyes widen, like he’d communicated something silently to her. Bemused, I watched as Aidan ducked back into the hallway and Seonaid ushered my mother, her own, and her boyfriend out of the room.
As she was leaving, she threw me a mischievous grin I did not understand at all.
Then the door opened again, and Aidan appeared. “You were magnificent, Pixie,” he said.
“You really think so?” I started walking toward him, needing to hold him.