‘Issy, don’t say “whatever”, you’re not twelve. If you’re cross with me and want to say something, just come out with it.’
Issy pouted a little. ‘I’m cross with you.’
‘And I’m sorry. It’s this fucking job, you know that.’
He tailed off. Issy realized suddenly that this was it, this was her moment to say, to ask: What am I to you? Truly? Where are we going? Because if this is back on, it needs to be serious. It really does. Because I am running out of time and I want to be with you.
It was the time to say it. She knew she was very unlikely to see Graeme in such a vulnerable state ever again. This was the time now; to put down the new ground rules of their relationship; to make him say it.
They sat in silence.
She didn’t. She couldn’t. Issy felt the old familiar blush steal over her face. Why was she such a coward? Why was she so scared? She would ask him. She would.
Graeme crossed the living room. Before Issy got the chance to open her mouth, he was right there in front of her, his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes focused right on her.
‘Look at you,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’re blushing. It’s adorable.’
As usual, having her blushing pointed out only made it worse. Issy opened her mouth to say something, but as she did so Graeme made a shushing motion, then moved forward very very slowly and kissed her full and hard on the lips, the way she remembered; the way that had been haunting her dreams for weeks.
First reluctantly, then fully, Issy surrendered to the kiss. She realized how much her body had missed the contact; how much she had missed the feeling of skin on skin; that no one had touched her for two months. She’d forgotten just how good it felt; how good he felt; how good he smelled. Unable to help herself, she let out a sigh.
‘I have missed you,’ breathed Graeme. And for the moment, Issy realized, leaning into him once more, that was going to have to be enough.
It wasn’t until the next morning, after an extraordinary night, when Graeme was rushing around getting ready that he thought to ask her what she was doing.
At first Issy was oddly reluctant to tell him, to let light flood into their bubble. She didn’t want him to laugh at her. She was enjoying feeling happily tired, her muscles liquid and relaxed, luxuriating in his big bed. She was doing something she rarely got to do: staying all night. It was bliss. She would get up and saunter down to Notting Hill High Street, have coffee, read the papers in Starbucks maybe … Suddenly she could see the positives of being out and about on a weekday, it made her feel like she was bunking off.
But then she remembered with a start: she couldn’t bunk off. Not any more. She had stuff to do. Lots and lots of stuff to do. She’d signed up to the lease and with the lease came a shop, and responsibility, and work and … She sat bolt upright in a fit of panic. She had an appointment with a small business adviser; she had to examine the property – her café! – she had to figure out what work was absolutely essential and what could wait till they were up and running; buy an oven, think about staffing. Last night, starting with the champagne and ending with the most incredible sex with the man currently gelling his hair in the ensuite mirror – that had been celebration. Today, she was self-employed. It was starting.
‘Ooh,’ she said. ‘I have to rush. I have to go.’
Graeme looked perturbed but amused.
‘Why? Urgent pedicure appointment?’
‘No, actually.’
And she told him.
Graeme couldn’t have looked more surprised if she’d said she was opening a zoo.
‘You’re what?’
He was halfway through knotting a natty blue tie Issy had bought him, thinking it would appeal to his peacock tendencies and bring out his eyes, both of which it did.
‘Yes,’ said Issy, insouciant, as if this was exactly what she should do and completely unsurprising. ‘Sure.’
‘You’re opening a small business. We’re five minutes out of recession and you’re opening a business.’
‘Well, it’s obviously the best time,’ said Issy. ‘Rents are cheap, opportunities are out there.’
‘Hang on, hang on,’ said Graeme. Issy was half pleased at surprising him and half cross at his evident scepticism. ‘What type of business?’
Issy stared at him. ‘Cupcakes, of course.’
‘Cupcakes?’
‘Yes, cupcakes.’
‘You’re going to make an entire business out of cakes?’
‘People do.’
‘Those sugary things?’
‘People like them.’
Graeme frowned. ‘But you don’t know anything about running a business.’
‘Well, who does when they start?’
‘Almost everyone in catering, for starters. They’ve all worked in other bakeries for years or grown up in the trade. Otherwise you’re sunk. Why didn’t you go and work in a bakery if you wanted to bake? At least you’d have seen if it suited you.’
Issy pouted. This was exactly what a little niggly voice at the back of her mind told her. But the shop had come up! Her shop! She knew it was right!
‘Well, a shop came up that I think is just right, and—’
‘In Stoke Newington?’ snorted Graeme. ‘They saw you coming.’
‘Fine,’ said Issy. ‘Be like that. I have an appointment anyway with a small business adviser.’
‘Well, I hope he’s cleared his schedule,’ said Graeme.
Issy stared at him.
‘What?’
‘I can’t believe you’re being like this.’
‘I can’t believe you’re throwing away Kalinga Deniki’s incredibly generous redundancy package on something so ridiculous. So stupid. Why didn’t you ask me?’
‘Because you didn’t bother to ring me, remember?’
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Issy. Come on. I’ll ask around. I’m sure there’s a secretarial job going at Foxtons commercial. I’m sure we can find something for you.’
‘I don’t want “something’’,’ said Issy mutinously, biting her lip. ‘I want this.’
Graeme threw up his hands.
‘But it’s ridiculous.’
‘So you think.’
‘You don’t know anything about business.’