‘Yes, well, it’s very difficult to account for good deeds,’ sniffed Mrs Prescott. ‘It’s quite hard to pay a mortgage from good deeds as well.’
Issy was still looking at her hands.
‘My grandfather was successful,’ she said, biting her lip. ‘He did all right.’
‘These are harder times, maybe,’ said Mrs Prescott. ‘People’s lives are faster, their memories are shorter, do you think?’
Issy shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I just want to run a good place, a nice place, that’s all.’
Mrs Prescott raised her eyebrows and didn’t say any more. She made a mental note to start looking for another client.
Pearl had got home that night upset enough before she saw him, sitting casually on her back step as if he’d merely forgotten his key. She felt, suddenly, Louis’s little paw start to tremble in her hand with excitement. Just as well he was still in nappies, he’d have peed his pants for sure about now. She knew that half of him wanted to run up to the man in glee, but he knew already that this would not please his mother. And also that sometimes he received a welcome, and presents and promises from this man, and sometimes he didn’t.
Pearl swallowed hard. It was only a matter of time before word got around that she was earning a wage, she supposed. She guessed he wanted some of it.
He was, she thought, regretfully, still such a handsome man. Louis got his sweet smile from her, but the rest of his beautiful face came from his dad; the long-fringed eyes and high cheekbones.
‘Hey there,’ said Ben, as if he hadn’t been completely off radar for the last five months, and missed Christmas.
Pearl gave him one of her looks. Louis was clutching tight to her hand.
‘Hey, little man!’ said Ben. ‘Look how big you’re getting!’
‘He’s big-boned,’ said Pearl reflexively.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ said Ben. ‘Come say hi to your dad, Lou.’
Of course it had started to rain. So what could Pearl do except invite him in for a cup of tea. Her mother was on the sofa, watching the early evening soaps. When she caught sight of Benjamin she simply raised her eyebrows and didn’t bother to greet him. Ben had said, ‘Hello, Mrs McGregor,’ in a slightly fake over-the-top fashion, but didn’t look too surprised when he didn’t receive a reply. Instead, he knelt down next to Louis, who was still struck completely dumb. He reached into his pocket. Pearl switched on the kettle in the little strip of kitchen in the corner of the room, watching the pair closely. She bit her lip. She had a speech prepared for Mr Benjamin Hunter, absolutely she did, for the next time she saw him. She had thought it over in her head and she had a lot to say – as did her friends – about his messing about, staying out late, sending her not a penny for Louis, even when he was working. And he had a good job too. She was going to give him a proper lecture about his responsibilities, to her, and to his boy, and tell him to grow the hell up, or stop bothering Louis.
Then she caught sight of Louis’s eyes, wide open in amazement and adoration, as his dad brought out of his pocket a bouncy ball.
‘Watch this,’ said Ben, and he bounced it hard off the cheap plastic linoleum. The ball bounced up, hit the low ceiling, came whooshing back down again and did this twice more. Louis erupted in a screaming giggle.
‘Do again, Daddy! Do again!’
Ben duly obliged, and within five minutes the ball was bouncing all over the tiny flat and Louis and Ben were rolling and tumbling after it, getting in the way of Pearl’s mother’s programmes and steady stream of cigarette smoke, and killing themselves laughing. Finally, they sat up, panting. Pearl was frying sausages.
‘Do you have enough of those for a hungry man?’ said Ben. He tickled Louis on the tummy. ‘Do you want your daddy to stay for tea, young man?’
‘Yesh! Yesh!’ hollered Louis. Pearl’s brow darkened.
‘Louis, go sit with your grandma. Ben, I want a word. Outside.’
Ben followed her out, lighting a cigarette as he went. Great, thought Pearl. Another brilliant role model for Louis.
They stood by the wall of the alleyway, Pearl avoiding the eyes of neighbours coming to and fro who could clearly see them both there.
‘You’re looking well,’ said Ben.
‘Stop it,’ said Pearl. ‘Stop it. You can’t … you can’t just walk in here after five months and pretend nothing has happened. You can’t. You can’t, Ben.’
She had lots more to say, but, strong as she was, Pearl could feel the words choking in her throat. Ben, however, let her finish – that wasn’t like him. Normally he was defensive, full of excuses.
Pearl pulled herself together, with some effort.
‘It’s not even about me,’ she said. ‘It’s not about me. I’m over it, Ben. I’m absolutely doing just fine. But for him … can’t you see how awful it is? Seeing you and getting all excited, then not seeing you again for ages? He doesn’t understand, Ben. He thinks it’s his fault that you leave, that he’s not good enough.’
She paused, then spoke quietly. ‘He is good enough, Ben. He’s wonderful. You’re missing it all.’
Ben sighed. ‘You know, I just … I just didn’t want to be tied down.’
‘Well, you should have thought of that before.’
‘Well, so should you,’ said Ben, with some justification, Pearl knew. He was just so handsome, so nice; he had a job, which was more than you could say for some of the men she met … She’d let herself be carried away. She couldn’t blame him for everything. On the other hand, that didn’t mean he could just zip in and out whenever he wanted.
‘I mean, I figure some of me is better than nothing, right?’
‘I’m not sure,’ said Pearl. ‘Some of you on regular days … when he knows you’re coming … yes, that would be a wonderful thing for him.’
Ben scowled. ‘Well, I can’t always plan ahead that far.’
Why not? thought Pearl mutinously. She had to.
Ben finished his cigarette and crushed it out on the big wheelie bin.
‘So can I come back in or not?’
Pearl weighed up the alternatives in her head. To deny Louis the chance to spend some precious quality time with his father … versus teaching him a lesson Ben would probably ignore anyway. She sighed.