“Look, Harper, be realistic,” Carson continued in a big-sister, know-it-all tone of voice. “You’re going back to New York. What did you really think was going to happen?”
Harper picked at her nail and shrugged. “Maybe he’d come with me.”
Carson snorted. “Girl, you don’t know nothin’ about a lowcountry boy.”
“And you do?” Harper rejoined angrily.
Carson leaned back against the cushion and did not answer.
“What are you going to do about Blake?”
Carson skipped a beat as her bravado fizzled. “I don’t know,” she said in a small voice, and then flippantly, “I don’t even know what I’m going to do about little ol’ me.”
“How is little ol’ you?” Harper asked gently.
“I feel like I’m floating through life. Aimlessly.”
“You just had a miscarriage.”
“Yeah, I know. But . . .” Carson tossed the magazine onto the table. “It’s more than that. I didn’t just lose a baby. I lost me.”
Harper tilted her head. “How so?”
“Do you believe in dreams?”
“I have dreams.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Do you believe they have meaning? Messages?”
“You mean, like Jungian interpretation?”
“I guess.” Carson’s shrug implied she didn’t know who Jung was.
“It’s complicated. I’ve read a lot about dream interpretation, and basically I believe we get messages from our subconscious in our dreams. That our dreams help us work out the problems we’re wrestling with. We’re tapping into another part of ourselves.”
Carson hesitated, then took a short breath. “Yeah, but . . . I think I got a message from some other source. I don’t think it was me.”
“In a dream?”
“Yes. When I was under anesthesia. That was the first time. I’ve been having the same dream ever since.”
Harper felt a tingling of interest. “There’s a school that believes dreams act as a means of transferring messages from the subconscious or even the gods. What’s your dream about?”
“An animal.”
“What kind of animal?”
Carson looked away. “A shark.”
Harper was stunned. She would have bet money Carson was going to say a dolphin. “A shark?”
“Yes.”
Harper searched Carson’s face and saw that she was in utter earnest. “I’m listening.”
“When I was still under anesthesia,” Carson began with a shaky voice, “I felt like I was floating underwater. I had this like . . . dream. In it, I was searching for Delphine, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I swam and swam, calling for her. I felt so sad. So lonely. Then I saw a dorsal fin and my heart leaped because I thought it was her. But the closer I got I grew afraid. Cold. I was so cold. . . . It was the shark. The same shark I met in the water last May.”
She shivered at the memory. “I tried to get away, but you know how it is in dreams when you try to move but you can’t? The water was like sludge. I couldn’t escape it. The shark came very close to me, so close I could stare into those dark, soulless eyes. I couldn’t look away. My heart was pounding and I was back in May, looking at my own death.
“Only this time, staring into the eyes, I stopped being afraid. I kept staring into its eyes and then . . . I became the shark.” She looked up at Harper to gauge her reaction. “Then I woke up.”
Harper didn’t speak for a moment. “Wow.”
“Yeah. Right?” Carson’s voice was so low Harper could hardly hear her. “I know there’s a message in there somewhere, but nothing is clicking.”
Harper pulled out her phone and began doing a search. After a few minutes she looked up. “Have you ever heard of animal totems?”
“No.”
“There are ancient myths that speak to our natural connection to animals. We have to be attuned to the animals, respect them, and by doing so we learn to communicate with them.” Harper checked to make sure Carson was following her. Her sister sat straight, eyes wide with attention. Harper was hitting a chord. “So, according to this, a totem is an animal that is a messenger for you. We can have many messengers in our lifetime, and if we’re open, we can learn from them.” She read further in silence. “According to this, your encounter with the shark was not coincidental. It touched a primal part of your heart and soul.”
“Sure did. Fear.”
“And it sounds like it stirred up some long-dormant feelings. Here.” Harper handed Carson the phone. “I looked up shark totems. Check it out and see what you think.”
Carson took the phone and bent over it, shading the screen so she could read. A minute later it vibrated. “It’s Taylor ringing in.”
Harper sat bolt upright.
“Take it.” Carson handed the phone back to her.
Harper took it, mouthing Thank you. She watched Carson swoop to her feet and hurry toward the door, no doubt to look up shark totems. Harper put the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me.” Taylor’s voice was animated. “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
Harper held back her answer, letting the silence stretch out between them to inform him that she was piqued.
“Are you sure you want to see me again?” she said flatly.
“Why do you ask that? Of course I do.”
“You didn’t call me for two days.”
After a silence he said in a lower tone, “I know. I’m sorry. I want to explain about that.”
“I’m listening.”
She heard Taylor let out a long sigh. “It’s really something I’d rather explain in person, Harper. Come on, let me take you to dinner tonight so we can talk.”
“Fine,” Harper said in her best impression of her ice-queen mother. “But don’t think this gets you off the hook.”
“Seven o’clock?”
“Fine,” she repeated.
“See you then.”
Then she promptly hung up, smiling a bit in spite of herself.
At six thirty that evening Harper shut down her computer, pleased with the day’s work. Her book was almost finished. Every morning she couldn’t wait to get back to the manuscript. All the hard work was done, the book’s climax had been completed, leaving only the resolution, which felt as if she were riding a sled down a steep hill, speeding toward the finish line.